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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...........to want to ask for money back on swimming lessons...................

27 replies

MinkyBorage · 21/02/2009 18:37

To cut a long story short, I complained about the lessons being too boring for dd1 who should have been moved up a class, but was overlooked, so they agreed to let dd2 take dd1s place. The instructors nose is so out of joint about it that she has changed the class completely making it too difficult for dd2 (2.1), who would be fine, and learning lots, if it wasn't for the constant stream of negativity and digs directed at her from the instructor. DD2 is not the weakest in the group, but not far off.
My objection is that they could have responded to my initial criticism by saying that they would be changi8ng the lessons and making them harder so both dds would be OK left where they are, but nothin ghas been said to me at all.
I had decided to just ride with it, and the instructor had calmed down a bit after I asked her exactly what she meant a couple of weeks ago, but DH took dd2 swimming last week and the instructor was dreadful, much worse than she had been. "DD2 won't be able to do this" etc etc a constant stream of negativity. OK, she's 2, and really the instructor is having a dig at us, but it doesn't make for a very pleasant experience for any of us, and if the instructor was encouraging rather than negative and unpleasant, it would be far better.
I was planning on leaving this, but actually I am hacked off. I called them on Monday to discuss it, left a message saying it was to discuss instructiors treatment of dd2, and they haven't bothered to call back despite sayingf on their answer-phone messgae that they would be checking messages daily.
ffs these lessons cost us £9 per child per week for half an hours lesson.

I'm hacked off and feel they've been really unprofessional, and I'm so tempted to ask for our money back for the rest of the term (which they don't do).
I'm also gutted because there aren't any more weekend swimming lessons in the area!

OP posts:
nannynick · 21/02/2009 18:47

Are they renting space at a leisure centre? If so, could you have a word with the leisure centre management to see if they can intervene?
When you signed-up for the course, did they give you a copy of a complaints procedure? If they haven't... can you ask for that... they surely have something.
You can certainly terminate the contract, either with immediate effect or for the end of the term. Any money paid however will be another matter - the amount isn't probably worth pursuing via small claims court. Try contacting Consumer Direct for advice.

nannynick · 21/02/2009 18:57

If the swimming teacher is a member of the Swimming Teachers' Association, then you may find the Duty of Care document a useful read. It details how to make a complaint against a member - should you feel the need to take it that far.

I feel YANBU in wanting to have a refund for lessons not yet provided. However the contract you have agreed may prevent that from happening, though it is worth having that discussion with the provider.

Leo9 · 21/02/2009 19:05

I think if you 'complained about the lessons being too boring' then you may have understandably made the teacher feel got at, criticised and therefore defensive and cross!

It's alot to do with how you say it isn't it - but no, she shouldn't be taking things out on your daughter....can you ask to change to a different teacher?

Original poster
MinkyBorage · 21/02/2009 19:05

Thanks nannynick, I really appreciate that. I'm printing out the duty of care thing so dh and I can have a scan tonight. I'd like to resolve this before it reached a complaint stage, but it would be quite nice to have that to hand if they're bot responsive.
Problem is the instructor has not coped with the criticism well, she is obviously too sensitive and has lashed out.......... catching a 2yo in her fire. Pathetic really. Thank you again.

OP posts:
katiestar · 22/02/2009 23:27

Don't really understand
You complained about the lessons being too boring and easy.So she's made them more difficult and you think she has done this purely to spite you ?!!
Then she tells your DD that some things may be too tricky for her (by your own admission your DD is the weakest swimmer in the class) and you take offence at that.
Going purely on what you have told us you come across as being a little bit paranoid and in fact a little narcissitic if you think the instructor has changed round the lessons purely to spite your DD
(BTW did your DD2 jump the waiting list)

MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChopsTheDuck · 23/02/2009 17:12

with that attitude it's no wonder you are having problems interacting with people!

ChopsTheDuck · 23/02/2009 17:12

with that attitude it's no wonder you are having problems interacting with people!

ChopsTheDuck · 23/02/2009 17:13

I've reported the post, for the unjustifable personal attack on KS.

mumto2andnomore · 23/02/2009 17:18

Im wondering what exactly you said to the swimming teacher now !

Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 17:21

lol, I was very balanced!
Not used to being called paranoid and narcissitic!

OP posts:
Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 17:22

chopstheduck, I don 't think it was an unjustifiable attack, and I'd far rather be called a cunt than paranoid and narcissitic!

OP posts:
Heifer · 23/02/2009 17:24

Crikey - I suggest that you remove your DD from the course, purely so that others won't have to mix with you!!!!!.....

Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 17:27

I'm not rude in real life!

OP posts:
TheThoughtPolice · 23/02/2009 17:27

I'm with Katiestar on this one and @ your bonkers attack Minky.

Do any of the other parents feel that the lessons have been made far too difficult for the group ?

Heifer · 23/02/2009 17:30

I am guessing you... so I am off

Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 17:33

no, the lessons aren't too difficult for the group, it is only my dd and another couple of children who find it hard, the others are coping fine. There is no doube that the lessons transformed completely over the space of a week though. As I said, it would have been great if dd1 was still in the class and not dd2, I just wish they'd communicated with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 17:33

*doubt

OP posts:
hifi · 23/02/2009 18:35

i would take a look at the header in aibu, totally out of order with your response to katiestar. i wouldnt be grinning if i was you.

2pt4kids · 23/02/2009 18:38

I was agreeing with you until you said that to katiestar

Amapoleon · 23/02/2009 18:44

Wow! That was out of the blue. I really don't think it helps your cause.

Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 18:47

You're probably (definitely?) right, I thought I was being a little tongue in cheek, but tbh shes caught me a little by surprise calling me paranoid and... ah well. I accept I was ott. Sorry Katiestar.

OP posts:
katiestar · 23/02/2009 19:06

Minky
Maybe I was a bit OTT too but from your post it sounds as if they have changed the format of the lesson in response to your complaint (maybe others have complained too) rather than as a deliberate slight at you.

Having changed the format of the lesson she is maybe a bit nonplussed at being presented with younger and weaker swimmers.
WRT the snide comments to your DD2 - well the only example you gave is that she told your DD she won't be able to do some of the things.Going just on this it sounds as though she is more reassuring your DD and trying to prevent her from getting into difficulties.Of course I wasn't there and didn't hear her tone of voice, Minky.
But I really really have a hard time believing the instructor would go to such extreme and unprofessional lengths purely to spite a 2yr old whose mother has made a polite suggestion.

hippipotamiHasLostFourPounds · 23/02/2009 19:16

If the lessons have now stepped up a gear, can't you move DD1 back into it and find a more suitable group for dd2? Because DD2 may be put off swimming if all she gets from the teacher is negativity.

Original poster
MinkyBorage · 23/02/2009 20:16

I don't for a minute think she changed the whole format of the lesson to have a go at me or dd2, but I do think I should have been told that she was going to do this so I could have made more sensible decisions about what to do with the dds lesson. They are expensive, time consuming, and more importantly i DO WANT THEM TO LEARN HOW TO SWIM. (oops caps-lock issue raTHER THAN SHOUTing, sorry) I think her nose was put out of joint and she rightly reacted by changing the lessons, which is something she should have done some time ago, but I should have been told that this was happening because I would have left both of them where they were.

Wrt her comments during the lessons, I handled them better than dh who was upset by them, because as you can probably tell, I don't shy away from confontation and I fronted her a couple of times, after which she did calm down. Believe me, it really was constant negativity, or ignoring and excluding. She won't demonstrate aNYTHING TO DD........., I could go on and on, either way, I'm not paranoid, and she is treating us in an unprofessional and unreasonable manner, she has reacted emotionally to the situation, and is dealing with us in a really odd way.

As far as what to do about this is concerned, it's sad, but I feel that they've been really unprofessional, and I don't want to continue to pay for the treatment we're receiving, especially since they haven't even bothered to call me back to discuss it. We'll just have to travel further afield for lessons, and try to get the cash back for the remainder of the term. They have a huge waiting list so they'll be able to fill the places really easily. It's ridiculous really, we've been going since they set up the lessons nearly two years ago, and have got along fine, but the minute I've raised an issue, it seems like they have not had any idea how to deal with it in an adult and professional manner. (God, that's rich coming from me on this thread, but I don't deal with rl issues like I dealt with disagreeing with you katiestar! Think pg hormones must have got the better of me for a minute there!)

katiestar, can I just say that I think it is very magnanimous of you to have come back to this thread, and apologise. I was way ott, sorry, and thanks. I was a bit of a c**t there actually!

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