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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be very sad about weaning my baby?

12 replies

edd021208 · 20/02/2009 23:54

My dd is 10 weeks old, and I discovered a lump in my breast a few weeks ago. Following a biopsy, the consultant has said there is a 90% chance it is benign (a fibroadenoma) but they would like to remove it just in case. He said the surgery would happen once I have stopped breastfeeding my dd. I bf my ds for 15 months and while I had thought I wouldn't feed my dd for quite so long I hate the idea of weaning her very soon...the consultant was vague/contradictory on when exactly I should stop bfing her - he said they'd like to operate sooner rather than later but not to give up right now just on account of the lump. I should add that bfing has been very tricky this time around with thrush, mastitis and now an abscess all making things a bit sore..AIBU to feel very confused about when and whether to stop bfing, and to feel so mournful about it?

OP posts:

snottymcgrotty · 21/02/2009 00:07

Gosh, really feel for you. What a difficult time and decisions. Has the consultant given the advice that he will operate after you have stopped bf'ing as the bf'ing will make the surgery more difficult, or is it due to the recovery period and the trauma to that breast ? Only asking because wondered if it might be possible to actually carry on bf'ing but with the unaffected breast ?
Not sure if this could or would be possible, it is just a thought.
YANBU to feel mournful about having to stop bf'ing and at the end of the day, you've got to think of your health as well. I'm sure no-one would criticise you whatever your decision.

BustyMcGee · 21/02/2009 00:11

Hello,

Not got any experience in this but would really recommend speaking with La Leche League as they've got loads of breastfeeding advice including what's best to do when you have medical problems. Good luck to you and your DD x

NorthernLurker · 21/02/2009 00:15

YANBU at all. I think you need to go back to your doctor and ask him to be clearer about the risks and benefits of operating soon. What is the chance of it spreading quickly if it isn't benign, how much breast trauma is he talking about, what follow up treatment would he want to do if it is benign? That sort of thing. Then I think I would want a second opinion. Giving up breastfeeding earlier than your natural inclination is a big, big thing and you should have all the possible information you can.

As a pragmatic solution - could you pump and freeze now so that when you do stop she still can have ebm in bottles for a time? If you got in a few weeks pumping you could freeze quite a lot - and it keeps for 3 months like that doesn't it? Might be something to think about doing anyway.

Good Luck.

vlc · 21/02/2009 00:20

read this

It may not be necessary to wean your baby. I would ask some more questions if I were you.

I'll see if I can find anything else relevant... good luck.

vlc · 21/02/2009 00:22

"3. Lumpectomy. A nursing mother would be wise to choose a surgeon who has experience operating on a lactating breast, both because the presence of milk can complicate the surgery slightly, and an experienced surgeon can minimize the cutting of major nerves and milk ducts. Nursing can resume immediately after surgery, as soon as the mother is comfortable. Of course, if the surgery affected only one breast, nursing can continue uninterrupted on the other side."

from breastfeeding123.com

vlc · 21/02/2009 00:30

healing after surgery on a lactating breast

lactation education resources on bf and surgery

Original poster

edd021208 · 21/02/2009 19:07

wow, thank you all so very much. I guess I should ask more questions. I must have been a little freaked out that I'll have to have surgery. I'm not worried at all about anyone else's judgement but I'm surprised just how upsetting it is to feel forced into giving up bfing.....and there I was irritated that I couldn't have a few glasses of wine due to bfing!
I wish doctors would work with their patients a bit more...

OP posts:

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 21/02/2009 19:18

"I was irritated that I couldn't have a few glasses of wine due to bfing!"

Says who? Very little alcohol makes it through (if you were unconscious you would have the same alcohol in your blood as OJ) the odd glass isn't a problem.

Original poster

edd021208 · 21/02/2009 19:49

I suppose I meant I couldn't get a bit pi**ed!
And in reply to other questions - the consultant hasn't made it clear why it is preferable for me to give up bfing before the surgery. A slight problem is that my dd far far prefers the affected side and it is a complete struggle to get her to feed on the other side.....

OP posts:

Stefka · 21/02/2009 20:16

What a horrible situation to be in - I am so sorry. I hope that you can get clearer answers from the Dr's. You have done well to make it through all the problems you have had.

Original poster

edd021208 · 21/02/2009 22:18

cheers, thanks everyone. Will let you know what happens if its helpful for anyone else.

OP posts:

Original poster

edd021208 · 27/02/2009 23:26

update - went back, saw a different consultant and was told have to stop bfeeding immediately - the biopsy had cut through some milk ducts apparently and has resulted in a really painful abscess that apparently won't get better w/o stopping bfeeding (have already been on antibiotics for 10 days with no improvement).
thanks for all the advice

OP posts:

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