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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm fuming because fathers in charge of paintballing doubled the cost of our joint party?

68 replies

curiouscat · 19/02/2009 20:49

DS just turned 11 and had a joint paintballing party with a friend. Other mum and I didn't go as have 2 dd's each to look after. We organised paintballing party expecting it to cost £400 which we would split between our two families. A lot but they were going to have a fantastic boys day out, 3 dads went and 12 boys. When they got back, they had bought more ammunition while there as the boys used it all up quickly. Now the total cost of the party was £880.

How can they be so extravagant? They all had a really great time, and the men said if they hadn't got more ammo they'd have had to come home after a couple of hours instead of being gone 830am-5pm.

I just feel the hosting dads were showing off to eachother in wanting to appear generous.

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 20/02/2009 15:06

Crikey £880. You could have gone on a week's holiday for that!!!!!

You should have known better than to let your bloke go on this really.

If that is what you're paying for ds' 11th birthday, what the hell are you going to spend on his 18th!!!!!!??????

fryalot · 20/02/2009 15:15

So, let me get this right...

you sent men off to play war games and expected them to remember their real life?

of course you're NBU to resent him spending the extra money, but you probably ABU to expect him to remember that money was actually involved at the time.

Men don't (generally) think at all when they're having a huge amount of schoolboy fun

HappyMummyOfOne · 20/02/2009 15:20

I can see how it happened, if the boys were having a fab time then they probably didnt think twice about getting the extra paintballs.

I presume its your DH's money as well so he has some say in how to spend it.

Loshad · 20/02/2009 16:18

It does happen = know another dad who had a similar problem but said it would have been over very quickly if he hadn't kept putting his hand in his pocket. The main reason we use one place over the other is the paintball policy - one place does as the one your DH went to, and tbh although it ended up being expensive I think him and the other dad made the right choice in the circumstances, the other one we go to allows for a very generous ball allowance in the all in cost, and dollops them out at various intervals during the day.
would be very at a invite to a paintballing party where the guests were expected to buy their own balls because that isn't really an invite then more an offer to go and join someone at your cost.

twinsetandpearls · 20/02/2009 16:20

People are being very patronising to men IMO on this thread. I would not bhave any hesitation if dp wanted to organise a party like this. It would not eneter my head that he could not be trusted.

NorthernLurker · 20/02/2009 16:45

Puppympnkey - actually £880 is nearly the cost of our fortnights holiday!

I can see how this happened - a friend of dd1 asked her mum if they could take a friend or two to the local farm park for her birthday. Friend's mum put her dh in charge of arrangements and the next thing she knew they were taking a coach (ok it was a smallish coach) of school children on a full days excursion! They had a brilliant time - but I don't want to think about what it cost!

Birthday parties do cost howvere simple you keep it - I did a baking party for dd2 with very basic cake ingrediants, some crisps, sandwiches and choc ices 1/2 way for food, 1 round of pass the parcel and a small wooden spoon and rolling pin as a 'party bag' and I think that cost me at least £40.

fryalot · 20/02/2009 17:07

TS&P - yep, guilty

Tbh, I wasn't intending on being particularly patronising, but I wouldn't expect dp to be particularly self-controlled when doing something he found loads of fun, just as I wouldn't expect me to be particularly self-controlled if left alone in a cake shop (for example)

twinsetandpearls · 20/02/2009 17:16

Actually I was just contemplating if I could be trusted in a shoe shop.

shirleyfgirley · 20/02/2009 17:19

God help you if your husband is in charge when you have an 18th birthday coming up

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 20/02/2009 17:20

What are you going to do for your DD's next birthday, OP? Because (unless she's too little to care yet) she is going to want something pretty spectacular if her brother had a party like that...

FairLadyRantALot · 20/02/2009 17:29

That seems a lot of money...

my es was last year at a Paintball Party...and teh BirthdayParty hosts simply put ont he invite that each boy would get so and so much, but if they wanted more paintballs than they cost whatever amount and that we would have to give them money...I thought that was fair enough....and had no problem given my son some money towards it...

Celia2 · 20/02/2009 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

curiouscat · 20/02/2009 21:24

Hi solidgold, no answer to that I'm afraid. No way we'll spend anything like that on dd's. So yes it'll reinforce all sorts of messages like boys have all the fun, men have say-so as they earn more, shooting people's a great entertainment etc. At least it'll prepare them for real life. And here I am a great pacifist mum I should have known our taxes that go on war equipment are better spent on female education/books/cake/etc

I feel reassured by all these posts that 1) we've been stupid and 2) we're slightly the victims of the paintballing money making thing ... yes we did read the smallprint but well what can I say, it was dh who organised the whole thing so sod it.

OP posts:

blossomsmine · 20/02/2009 22:39

This seems to be a bit of a problem with these paintballing parties. My friend gave her ds one of these for his birthday last year........she ended up spending double the price she expected......it came to £1000 I could not believe it!!! I could not and would not pay that for one childs birthday....just ridiculous!!!! Oh and then they went to eat on the way home!!!
I wouldn't touch these days out EVER!!!!

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 20/02/2009 22:52

CC I appreciate you're being a bit flippant, but do you really think that it's good to 'prepare your DD for real life' by demonstrating to her that her brother gets expensive birthday p-arties and she doesn't?

daffodill6 · 20/02/2009 22:53

wow....things do seem to be out of kilter... don't they, soon someone will be telling us how many people in africa that party could have helped.

CarGirl · 20/02/2009 23:05

Did any of you see "Sweet Sixteen" about a New Yorkers 16th last night, it was just well utterly shocking tbh

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 20/02/2009 23:40

My partner has just taken up airsoft, it sounds like it would be more painful (plastic pellets) but it's not (he says, like you'd get me to put myself in front of any gun whatever it fires) and loads cheaper. He's set himself up for far less than that!

I looked into paintball once as I used to organise meets and read everything carefully, I quickly found it would be way above anyone's (in our group at least) budget.

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