to be quite a bit miffed with FIL

[chickenfortea]

Basic History, it was my 30th a month ago. They have paid for us to go away this weekend as their gift, Very very generous of them.
DH was meant to organise it but has done nothing really. I have arranged all the childcare (3 children going different ways etc), household things and timings.
FIL rings this morning as i am going out of the door to arrange plans and mentions our chickens - bugger. I say "well I will ask Mr chickenfortea to ring XX" I did and MrCFT sorted it.
Now MrCFT is has quite important job and is recruiting in Dublin this week. I work 28 hours a week as a lawyer (but from home).
This evening FIL calls (see I do get to the point eventually) and says "don't you think that with Mr CFT being in Dublin you should ring XX about the chickens instead of asking him to do it?"
Now AIBU to think it really is none of his business?
Especially as I run this house and do all the household and children things. I do mean all, Children, finances, house repairs - I even have sex with him sometimes! Mr CFT not FIL!
I suppose I'm venting more than anything so thank you for reading so far.
Mr CFT is an only child btw!

Rise above, rise above

Nobody's business but yours, and not worth falling out over.

Maybe FIL is worried something will go wrong and ruin your weekend?

he he - he was just trying to be helpful. I know from experience though that week-ends away that involve military precision planning because of small children aren't really the luxury they appear to be.

Thanks BOF, The trouble is DH is only child and for years they tried to run our life, "how could we afford a house, car, cat, child, 2 chldren, 3 children etc etc" So anything like that makes me a bit Hmmmmmm

TRC FIL was definately coming at it from the don't bother your husband with it point of view.

He is their only child and to them both careers are of the upmost importance. Which I don't disagree with on the whole, but DH still has a family!

time for the wine I think!

My FIL is like this and does things like refers to my car as dh's - aghhh.

maybe he knows his son isn't as organised as you and is worried it won't get done. But youare right its none of his business really

A-Ha, only child thing relevant, I think. Also, FIL doesn't have a clue what's involved in what you do (men of that generation generally don't IMO)

YANBU to rant, but just file it under "fuckwitty things people have said to me"

x posts

I'm not sure about the only-child thing. I only have one, and I somehow can't see myself interfering in his life when he's a grown adult.

It's a certain type of human being who does this: nothing to do with how many kids they've got.

anymore BOF?
Not only is DH only child but they sent him to board at 9. They are nice people bit ignorant of normal family dynamics,
They are better now we have been married for 10 years. Their comment when DH told them we were moving in was "well she will only sleep with you and take your money" - ha he only earned 12k at the time!!

erm....am I the only one who nosily wants to know what reply you gave your FIL?

(((hums nonchalantly)))

FIL is obviously a chauvenist (sp?) pig who thinks you should do all the mundane running of the house stuff, but grin, bear and ignore it

Perhaps it's just parents of a certain age....

My FIL would be like this - I am equal wage earner even though I work p/t. I sort out everything at home, shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning, finances (my DH does do the bins!) but my MIL & FIL would still imply that when I work on a saturday morning my DH is 'doing child-care!!!'

We have been together for nearly 19 years!

Did you have fun spending the twelve grand, you hussy?! Nutters!

I chickened out (no pun) and said that I had asked dh IF he had called XX and then when he said no I said I did it myself
FIL is Italian and not really a Chauvenist as he does most of the things in his house (the own property but MIL works full time)
I think its the whole DH works sooo hard don't give him a hard time thing, the ironic thing is that if it were not for my foot firmly up their PFB backside he would still be earning 12k and not a director at a ftse100. Bloody interfering people
(red wine kicking in and feeling gooood)

Know exactly what you mean cft. My mil always goes on about my 'little job'.

Oh, and even though I work 32 hours per week, do all the housework etc, she still phones me to remind me of dh's family birthdays!!

Think it is just a generation thing. I have started asking her how her 'little life' is. She has not twigged yet.

Tut tut. Obviously he believes (and quite rightly too) that housework, childcare and working from home are all just pseudonyms for 'sitting down on bottom eating chocolates all day'. Therefore plenty of time for ringing chicken people.

Maybe you should've just said, really breathily, ooh no, Mr CFT is SOOOOO much better at those kind of things than me. And giggled.

My MIL called a few days ago and, on being told my DH was still at work, sighed, "oh dear, he's working so hard, isn't he..."

...our son is 15 weeks old. I am clearly sitting on my arse eating caramels, while DH is breaking rocks and saving the world every hour, on the hour.

Which is to say; I feel your pain. DH is a POC, too.

It is mother's with their sons - nothing to be done about it. My Dad's Mum has always done it whenever they came to stay when we were small

My grandma 'Oh Alibaba's Mum, what time will Alibaba's Dad be home from work'
My Mum 'At x time'
My grandma 'Oh gosh he does work so hard' fret fret fuss fuss

Winds my Mum up something awful, she only worked part time and did everything at home for 3 kids

MIL isn't too bad, although she'll ring between 7-8 in the evening and if DH isn't in she starts tutting. For her it's late though, she goes to bed at 9pm every day.

Irony is that I can see my Mum getting like it about my brothers. I must have a quiet word...

Don't be miffed with FIL. Just say "No, Mr CFT can do it". No further explanation. None of his business.