to want to reinvent myself now to become a more sophisticated, opinionated and fashion conscious version of me?

[thedolly]

I have 3 DC and DS2 is nearly 2 - is now the right time?

Yes - go for it! Why are you on MN when you could be at the shops buying your new wardrobe of clothes and socialising with your cool shoe-designer friends?!!!

Yes honey - if you even thinking about it - it is time - go for it and enjoy

I have cool shoe- designer friends??! Most of my friends are just boring SAHM's like me .

Well, you may find you have cool designer friends if you reinvent yourself!

Hey, I'm a SAHM and wr're not boring! I reinvented myself a few months back (ds1 is almost 5, ds2 is 18mths) and it feels great! It's changed my outlook and life as a SAHM is far more glamorous when you're a yummy mummy!

Reinventing oneself in the fashion arena is fairly straightforward, it's the rest of it I need help with.

I think being more assertive is a great way to start if you want to be "out there" a bit more. Not sure "opinionated" is the right way to be (far too many of those on MN!) but certainly by having a big think about the things that make you tick and what really means something to you, be it something in the world of current affairs, being a SAHM or a cause etc that you feel strongly about, it can all give you a good idea of where to start. I know it sounds a bit hippy dippy but by really working out who you are and who you would like to be, you'll be able to make your mark and feel a new woman!

It would certainly help if I felt strongly about something...anything .

Is the whole being opinionated thing genetic or can it be learned?

You can probably learn to be opinionated (sadly I was just born that way )
Just try to form an opinion on things you usually don't... try reading some threads you usually ignore and come up with an opinion and thus you will in time become opinionated!

But as Timeisablindguide says, assertiveness is probably better!

Timeisablindguide - I've never had a problem being assertive and I don't sit on the fence either when I'm asked my opinion.

(whispers) I quite admire those opinionated MNers of whom you speak. Maybe some of them will chip in with words of wisdom?

Sorry, yes, I didn't know if you were or weren't, it just seemed a good place to start if you wanted to be more vocal about things!

I'm opinionated. Just say what you think with conviction. And don't be afraid to back down or change your mind - that's part of being assertive, I think, to not be frightened of admitting when you're wrong).

Can't help you on the sophisticated or fashion conscious bits, though . I am a frumpy, be-Ugged mum of a 4 yr old and a newborn, so I know nada about style or sophistication

MrsMattie - conviction I can do! I am fairly convinced that the decisions I make for me and my family are right for us, but ask me to justify them and that's where I fall short...you see? Not opinionated enough!

Timeisablind guide - I wasn't offended, sorry if I gave you that impression. (You see, I am assertive but I can also be humble )

i want to do this too.

DH reckons that you can be opinionated without necessarily being able to justify why you hold certain ideas/opinions. Not sure I agree.

But if you don't feel that strongly about much, I'm not sure it can be created - isn't it more an instinctive reaction?

Maybe your nature is more laid back? More serene? That's something that many people envy and would far rather have than simply being opinionated (which doesn't always make you a nice person, and I say that speaking as a very opinionated person!)

I know what you mean about being opinionated, I am a real sit on the fence person, often because I don't have enough knowledge of the confidence of my opinions, and I just hate to be wrong!

I am trying to be better as I work in a place full of very intelligent people in a current affairs environment. I listen to Radio 4 a lot now which helps, and read the Economist and news websites. There is one guy who I work with and is very opionated which is fine, but it's like his word is law! He was going on about dreams and stuff the other day after watching a documentary, and I tried to put my opinion across and he completely disregarded it. I was like 'Look buddy, you may have a fricking masters in International Relations from Cambridge and know what the capital of Cambodia is, but I spent 7 years studying psychology and neuroscience, you're on my territory now!' at least that's what I said in my head! I'm working on saying it in real life!

Decided to take diedandgonetodevons advice and read through some 'different' threads in the hope of cultivating an opinion. I came on a great political diatribe on state versus private education! One external link to 'the political compass' later and I am inclined to agree with Leo9 on the whole laid back/serene thing.....I came out in the same quadrant as the Dalia Lama!

Bumperslucious - you should embrace your opinions, you are lucky to have them (but perhaps work on a way of putting them across that won't get you assaulted )

Well goodness me I think i'd rather come out as similar to the Dalai Lama than as an opinionated old bag (which is what I am)....

i think it's great to re-invent a more sophisticated, fashion conscious version of yourself but I don't think you need to try to make yourself something you're not; re-invent with all that AND an acceptance of your true nature and have confidence in that!

(she said, bossily)

lol Leo9

I'm more similar to a Llama than the Dalai Lama!

What a great idea! DH is quite opinionated and is great for a good discussion and the biggest thing I've noticed is that he looks things he doesn't know up whereas I play dumb or unsure. I think being willing to ask people to explain themselves or elaborate on something makes you interested and interesting (whilst having an opinion) which is much better than simply opinionated!

Fashionwise - take photos of yourself in some outfits you love, you'll quickly be able to see whats working and what doesn't and whatever happens just accept thats the way things are. I look terrible in trousers and round necks but great in skirts/dresses and v-necks - why on earth would I buy the round necks or trousers, even if they're fashionable if they look bad on me.

Oh and do you wear high(ish) heels? Instantly sexy - just make sure you can walk in them!

Dalia Lama - a freudian slip methinks!

Bumpers - I watched that documentary on dreams and without any pyschology qualifications I could see it was a pile of poo! My husband has a degree in pyschology basically told me to turn it over and said any professional pyschologists watching it would be laughing their socks off. Your instincts were not wrong there!

Good advice BabyBump2 about only wearing what suits. I've done lots of virtual shopping and fallen in love with some beautiful dresses. It will be heart breaking when they inevitably look bad on me .

Heels are sexy - and I can just about manage to walk in them but I long for a pair of ballet flats, too bad I need the extra inches!