Thanks again to all of you!!!!
Helen31, Oh I made a point of throwing into my discussion with DH, that most people wouldn't even DREAM of leaving there wives so soon after surgery. His answer, was he only booked after my friend agreed that I could stay at her house with my DD. He then said he never wants to see her or my family sitting in our home again!!! Great!!! . Although I retorted that she is not responsible or to blame for the situation and the only person he should blame is himself as he should have waited until I was fully recovered, he is partially right.
My friend did say it was no problem if I stayed with her when I mentioned that DH had to escort MIL back to her home country. She said she would take DD every morning for a walk when she took her daughter to school and every evening when she collected her daughter. She said the only problem that could arise is if the social worker came over (she is planning to start fostering), but it would work in her favour as the social worker would see that she is able to look after my DD. Apart from that she said it would be fine, except on a Monday morning when she looked after this little boy, but she would ask his parents if she could bring my DD over as it would be good for the little boy to have company. I told her I would pay to stay at her house and would pay or buy food, whatever she preferred. That was two weeks ago. Last week I kept trying to phone her, but no answer. I finally got hold of her on the Thursday morning. She said she would call me back. I didn't want to push it, so i didn't call her on the weekend.
Started calling her on Tuesday of this week. Finally got hold of her yesterday and her response was, she couldn't do it as her DD had made plans and had a friend staying over all weekend and Monday morning she had the boy to look after. I asked her if she had not asked the boy's parents and she said "no" as she didn't know what was happening. I said, "But last time we spoke you said you would ask the X's parents.". "Anyway tell Daniel I wouldn't be free until around 7.30 p.m. on Monday night when Y goes to .....". I couldn't believe it!!!!! I didn't know what to say, as this was the same person earlier on in the conversation had said she felt sorry for my DD being trapped in the house all day and would have poppede over to take her for a walk, but had loads on. I even pointed out, that I didn't have to stay at her house, but if she could pop in and check on DD and I. She said, it wouldn't be until late Monday.
Helen31, I did mention that he could extend her ticket and he said she had been away from her home long enough. It was her first trip away from home (International).
Thanks Wizzka!! I guess you are RIGHT!!! I don't think they are considering that!! I can't try the tears even if I wanted to as the last two times I told him she was crying, his comments were not nice (regarding the crying).
VinegarTits, she did travel here on her own from Romania. She claims the airport was scarey. The thing is I booked her to leave from a smaller airport, so......... You are FUNNY!! At least you made me laugh.
Mumof222222222222Boys, there is so much, but I don't know where to start. The thing that got me was the day she arrived, she said to him, "First you said you were leaving for a year. Then you said it would be three and now eight years later and....." What would you think of that comment? Maybe I was too sensitive when he translated it for my friend and I. He had pretended to hit his Mum on her arm and my friend told him not to do that. He then told us what she had said. Later on when I brought it up, saying that they blame me for keeping him here, he said I was PARANOID. He said they knew he met me after he had been here over four years. I have always said that I knew they blame me for him not moving back home, but he always said he wouldn't have gone back anyway. Before he met me most of his salary went home. When we got married, that obviously stopped. Oh, I made sure and told him that his priority should be DD and his DW. He retorted that we were and why was I even talking RUBBISH.
PINGVINER (I almost renamed you PINGGIVER!!! . Good thing that I doublechecked!! Thanks, you definitely KNOW your stuff!! I wish I had spoken to you two weeks ago or a month ago (but that would be another thread about the NHS). Two weeks ago my DH GP informed me how serious my operation was as it was an intricate procedure. He did inform me that the slightest movement could affect my recovery and may result in (as you knowledgeably pointed out) me having to have the procedure redone. I informed my DH who informed MIL. I also had tried to use GOOGLE translator when she asked me what the GP had said. So she knows, but I think she was just playing MIL games as you suggested. The ten days also facilitated him visiting his relatives who he hadn't seen for at least three years. Some more that that. He also wanted to have a health check over there. I didn't mind him visiting his family as he was over there, but I just didn't see why he had to go as I had no support.
I did mention paying someone, but finances wouldn't allow a doula and that is a SORE point (We paid for someone to come and stay with me and look after DD and I. We were supposed to pay for her ticket and I went the extra mile and bought a winter coat, underwear etc as I was so GRATEFUL to her. We obviously provided all the food etc and anything she wanted, plus we were going to give her cash. I handed over eighty pounds straight away. Four days after my operation she made plans to visit her family. I was surprised as she knew I wasn't supposed to lift, bend etc. All I had asked her to do was make sure DD' nappies were changed and she was bathed and fed. DD ended up spending most of the time with me anyway. Oh...I did ask her to cook one day!! Anyway, when she was leaving, she said, she was taking her bag. I thought it was her carry-on case, but it was her suitcase. She then phoned on the day she was due back and said she was staying another night. I was a bit surprised as on the morning before she mentioned she was going to her Aunt's I had asked her to help me get a cake as it was DH birthday. This was the evening she rang back at 6 p.m. to say she would be staying another night. The following evening she rang and left a message on my answermachine. We were at A & E. The thing was, it was her aunt that actually phoned and forgot to put the phone back in the receiver or turn the phone off, so we were privy to their converstion after the message was left. "Your conscious is clear!! You phoned and she wasn't in. It wasn't your fault!!", lots of giggling etc.
I won't go into it all as that would be another thread!! ).
Well, MIL left this morning. DH is at work. Lots of words exchanged. Lots of tears shed. DH is extremely moody. I phoned him earlier this morning and when I questioned him, he told me to leave him alone. I tried to explain that this was not my fault and he said he was not blaming me, but he didn't want to see my family or friends again. He told me to leave alone and then he would be sweet once he has his space. At first I told him he should jump on the plane and go with his Mum, but he was not impressed and became angrier as he had just left his Mum at the aiport!!!!!!
I don't know who else to talk to, so I guess writing this here, is my only form of getting it off my chest.
Sorry, for the length!!