teenage son

[Franticma]

Left amessage yesterday but cannot find it now. Shit! I really needed to talk to someone. How do you make sure your message/dry of help stays put? I have a 16yr old son who treates me appallingly. I may as well be the hired help, at least I'd get paid. He is is abusive, lazy, will eat whatever is available even if I say I need it for a meal. etc etc etc. You really do not want to hear what my life is like. I am ex senior position in the NHS which my son refers to as a 'dead end job'. Can some one PLEASE help.

here

I just searched under your talkname.

I can't be of any use myself, but hth!

Here

Spooky i was second to post on that thread too!

I think it's a case of looking at what are real problems and what are facts of life when living with teenagers

Lazy - IMO this describes 90% of teenagers. Many have no internal motivation to do stuff yet so they appear very lazy. This will change as his life changes; as more is expected of him say at work or college, and he gets more responsibilities. I think you needn't worry too much about this.

Eat anything even if needed for a meal; again.........I mean it is a trifle rude but teenage lads are eating machines and I think it's like putting a toy in front of a baby and saying "don't play with that"......

The being abusive part is of course something that is a serious problem. Calling your NHS job a dead end just shows how naive and young he is really, but he shouldn't be abusive to you in general.

It is up to you to withdraw your consent to this, he needs to know where the line is that he doesn't cross and only you can show him that really. Also you don't mention a DP/DH, of course if you have one it is also up to them.

I think it could be a long path though; and I think it also depends on you keeping your temper and always talking to him with politeness and respect and not giving in to shouting etc yourself.

How have you dealt with it up to now when he's been abusive?