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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you like to eat someone elses leftovers??

21 replies

6inchnipples · 15/02/2009 13:19

i had a huge row with dp this morning as he insisted on trying to give ds(4) dd's(2) leftover cereal. Ds was not having it and kicked up a fuss whinging and crying, but despite my saying don't be ridiculous thats horrible, dp then added some of the leftover stuff to some new stuff but old stuff soggy so ds wouldn't touch it.

I was furious, dp said it was a waste but why should ds suffer when dd wastes something, in the end up dp wasted more as the mixed bowl didn't get eaten. Dp remains in a bad mood currently and i have told him he is definitely wrong on this one. Is he? Would you like to eat your siblings leftovers?? I'm really surprised dp thinks this is ok.

OP posts:
pinkspottywellies · 15/02/2009 13:21

No that's not very pleasant. I might have offered the leftovers but not forced it if he didn't want them.

Twims · 15/02/2009 13:21

He is Being unreasonable - tomorrow serve the children's tea and when he gets home serve up the leftovers with a jacket potato and say oh the children didn;t finish it

bigTillyMint · 15/02/2009 13:22

I personally wouldn't force mine to, but there is quite often one who wants to eat what the other doesn't want (usually in addition to their own stuff!)

And DH or I hoover up anyones leftovers

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 15/02/2009 13:22

In the circumstances you describe I think your dp was bu. I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old, at times they "swap" bowls and give each other bites of food which I guess are technically leftovers but it seems a bit cruel to force them to do this.

Adding the leftover stuff to new stuff doesn't sound very kind tbh. Is your dp normally like this? Still being in a bad mood many hours after breakfast sounds awful. Is he the type to sulk for hours on end?

mamas12 · 15/02/2009 13:23

It's only okay if he wants to eat it isn't it. If ds eat it great but the soggyness was the clincher wasn't it. Yeuch I coudn't Why didn't dh eat it all then if he thought it was so much of a waste.
Still it's a learning curve isn't it.

ginnny · 15/02/2009 13:23

Eugh no I wouldn't. That's mean.
Although I have made my ds finish a bowl of soggy cereal as I'm fed up with them begging me to buy some crap cereal because there's a toy / cartoon on the box then deciding they don't actually like it when its in front of them.
But making one child eat anothers soggy cereal is definitely not on.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 15/02/2009 13:23

You know, I was thinking about this and it sounds like it is not really about leftovers, not from your dp's viewpoint anyway. It is about him wanting some sort of control and he it sounds as if he is trying to use the children to prove some sort of point.

Sorry if I am being harsh or have got this wrong.

shootfromthehip · 15/02/2009 13:24

Mm DH will eat leftovers which is ok if he wants to but I hate the idea for me. I have a really fussy almost phobic eater and she would actually gag if I tried to give her leftovers. I think that is really unfair on the kids. Yuk- YANBU

FairLadyRantALot · 15/02/2009 13:25

no, especially with ceral I would also find that really disgusting...not sure why...but yeah, possibly the soggy factor and stuff...

TrillianAstra · 15/02/2009 13:26

I know plenty of cases where my brother has eaten leftovers of his own freee will (looking with hungry eyes and asking 'do you want that last potato?') but being made to eat soggy cereal is yuck.

Agree with others that it's odd that he's still in a mood in the afternoon.

Original poster
6inchnipples · 15/02/2009 13:41

glad i name changed for this.

i think it is horrible. Ds def didn't want to eat them. Dp was forcing the issue. He wouldn't eat them himself as he 'had already eaten breakfast'

Just wondered others opinion as i often feel i am wrongly paranoid about dp and his relationship with ds (from previous relationship) but answers have made me feel even more paranoid

OP posts:
Original poster
6inchnipples · 15/02/2009 13:44

can i add that if they willing to eat each others leftovers i'm all for it, but def think its wrong to insist upon it.

God i feel like crying about this now.

Is it normal to be hypersensitive if another man is raising your child from previous relationship?? Am looking to far into this??
He is kind and loving and a good person. We also have 2 kids together.

OP posts:
rookiemater · 15/02/2009 13:49

Well I was going to post that whilst it was a daft thing of your DP to do, after he had done it, he probably realised this, hence had no need for you to reiterate that it was silly and hence (probably) whilst he is sulking.

TBH if we had more than one child it sounds like the kind off thing DH would do as a one off, thinking he was being helpful.

If he is normally a good bloke then move on and forget about it. If there are other issues then perhaps you could start a thread in the less contentious Steparents and get some advice there.

mrsjammi · 15/02/2009 13:51

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mrsjammi · 15/02/2009 13:53

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FairLadyRantALot · 15/02/2009 13:57

oh 6inch...I don't think you are being oversensitive at all...and actually your OP now leaves a very bad aftertaste...iykwim...would he have done it hte other way round?
I htink you really have to keep an eye out for your son...

Original poster
6inchnipples · 15/02/2009 20:34

fairlady in my dp's defence he is most of the time an exceptionally good father and step father. He spends more time with ds than with dd1 or dd2 because they like doing boys stuff together. Obviously tho i'm not paranoid about the girls being treated the same because they are his, but actually if they weren't it'd worry me that he spends more time with ds.

i think this is maybe more a parenting issue than a step parenting one as i know he loves ds. i think he actually wishes he were his ownn and thats where the problem stems. its something i'm sure we will iron out as he is really quite lovely in most ways, if slightly irritating and annoying in others but then who isn't.

OP posts:
FairLadyRantALot · 15/02/2009 21:27

that is o.k. than....

SweetAudrina · 15/02/2009 21:30

I wouldn't eat anyone elses leftovers - gross. Especially cereal, just the thought of it makes me feel sick

GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS
GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS

But I have been known to indulge in a cold slice of last nights pizza whilst watching Deep Space Nine.

tengreenbottles · 16/02/2009 08:54

i remember going to eurodisney years ago and my friend clearing food off peoples plates that they had left on the table ,becuase 'they had hardly touched it' she did use clean cutelry though

LucyEllensmummy · 16/02/2009 08:59

It all depends on the state of the left overs really doesn't it.

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