to find another website's comment "many perfectly normal children don't walk until their 16th or 17th month" annoying?

[NigellaTufnel]

My ds has finally FINALLY started to walk, at just under 20 months. (Many thanks by the way to MNetters who have reasured me through my worries that there was something wrong!)
But everytime I get an update from another Baby site - and make the mistake of reading it - it panics me.

The latest says "many perfectly normal children don't walk until their 16th or 17th month."
If I had recieved this a week ago, this would have just upset me. And I'm sure this must upset some other Mums.

Don't get me started about talking...

AIBU to expect a bit more sensitivity about child development?

I don't know. Isn't it true that starting to walk before 18 months is in the 'normal' range? After that, it's later than normal. It may not be anything to worry about, but it's still later than most children.

If you don't like the website, why don't you unsubscribe?

The thing that I think many of these 'expert' opinions seem to miss out is that many 'normal' {pah} children may not walk until after 20 months and this is fine they do not add many normal children may not talk before the age of 2,many 'normal' children may not do many things until much later than 'normal' but more than 1-2 late milestones 'may' mean your baby needs extra support.

I blardy hate all this normality .....

i am not sure why this is upsetting...

my DCs walked at 16 and 17 months.

DD was on the cusp of a speech delay

i got my info mostly from doctor, HV, paeds etc not a website update

mine just has at 21 months. It was a proud moment in Clarks.. My sister walked at over two, so I was never worried. But I know what you mean.

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Best not to read these things really. I remember having a baby development book which I avidly read almost every day that my first child was a baby. It confidently stated that your baby would be speaking its first word at around 11 months. My ds1 did not speak any words at all until he was 26 months - and even then I needed to speech therapist to identify the word for me.

He is an extremely bright 12 year old now.

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The range for NT children is 9-20 mths.

Anything earlier than 9 mo is early; anything later than 20mo is late - but still not nec anything to worry about, as long as you are aware of the parameters and seeing HV/doc about it, and the child is making progress.

everyone develops at their own pace. i'm mad too as these 'your child should be able to...' guidelines

All it means is that once you have passed a certain stage, it becomes statistically slightly more likely that something is wrong. I was very blase about the whole thing and convinced that my dd was normal and just a slow developer. Sadly, she was one of the few who were not in the normal category, and is now disabled. For us, it would have been better to have spotted the signs earlier as early intervention might have spared her years of pain. SO there is some point to the milestones.

Yes Cory you are right. I know someone whose child wasn't walking and wasn't walking and everyone said oh well, he will.

But in fact although he did in the end (he was well over 2) he was then adn is still very wobbly and while perhaps not disabled, certainly struggles with co-ordiantion and stairs etc.

Who knows if some physio at 15mo may have helped?

You are right. When anyone has a child its impossible to know what is normal so everyone compares their child to everone elses. It a natural thing to do. Problem is there is no 'normal' child.

My DS1 never crawled at all - he just rolled and then one day he stood up and walked across the room to rip the front off the TV!

Define 'perfectly normal'

Sorry, that's meant to say I'd want to ask them to define what 'perfectly normal' means.

Guidelines are crap

ds1- 10months
ds3- 16months

can you guess which of themis registered disabled?

Oh well they both are.

yes there are extremes but its rare theres been nothing else toworryn you until then anyway

Just as indicator of how crap....

If ds3 had walked 2 weeks later then in conjunction with everyone else he could have been dx'd with global delay

he didnt so cant be (ASD instead)- but (and heres the pmsl bit)- he was 2 weeks late.

If youe happy with your chidls development dont let a date bother you too muuch

I guess its helpful to know SOME indicators of the outside of "normal".

dds lack of mobility was a big red flag with regard to her problems.

I sought help at the 18 month point.

that walking at 17 months could trigger (in combination with other factors natch) a dx of gdd, given that the normal range goes to 20 months. mind you DS's private SALT report described his sitting/crawling as being slightly delayed at 9 months!

"perfectly normal" is a naff way of putting things, but I don't understand why it's upsetting?

I agree the whole mile stones thing are worrying/annoying/competative but they do serve a purpose to act as a warning sign to parents if their child is a late developer they can seek the advice of H/V, doc, speech therapist etc. This way if there is a possible problem it can be addressed early and positive steps can be put into place.

Some children develop late because they have sn and some don't, but for those that do have sn early notification can really help developmental milestones to be reached through the help of professionals.

Well my ds started walking at 16 months - and i actually thought this was quite early for my experience (one sister walked at 15 months, I walked at 17 months, other sister walked at 19 months). However, a lot of his peers were walking earlier than him.

But due to my family history, I wouldn't have thought it odd until he had got past about 20 months.

peachy- if you don't min me asking how did you become aware of your dc's disability? Was it through reaching other 'milestone' late or was it something that you were aware of from birth?

Its none of my business so don't answer if you don't want to.

The only reason that i ask is that the two parents i know of children with sn, were only alerted to their sn after they failed to reach developmental milestones with in the 'normal' time constraints.

mind, milesstones

LittleMissBliss - with DS's SN I found the reverse - I suspected his language delay at 2.3, as his language just didn't really seem to be improving at all - it was only once he hit the milestone age of 3 and still had minimal language that I could get HV/GP to take me seriously and refer him for SALT and paed.

TC if iyts a bundle with severe delays ion everything else I thin it makes sense- its clear ds3 does have some of these delays but he cant get the dx iyswim

I suppose yes it's a case that something in isolation would not be signficant, but coupled with everything else does take on some importance...

Totalchaos- It is a shame that the H/V and dr weren't taking you seriously, shame on them.

But with-out any average milestones, and people constantly telling you say after ds reaching 3 oh don't worry he'll get there, wouldn't have helped at all surely? So Milestone indications are a positive thing surely?

Also you wouldn't have suspected at 2.3 that there may be a problem, because you would have not had anything to compare his development towards.