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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that 'save the date' cards are a waste of money?

57 replies

MummyDoIt · 14/02/2009 14:11

Why not just send the invitation? You know the date, and presumably have the church/registry office/venue booked, otherwise you wouldn't be able to give that date for sure, so what other information do you need? Why pay for two lots of cards and two lots of postage? Complete waste of money. Especially in a recent case where someone I know sent out 'save the date' cards, then changed their minds about venue, couldn't get the new place on the old date so had to change the date anyway.

OP posts:

cmotdibbler · 14/02/2009 21:30

I do think they are a good idea - with 6 months definate notice I have a much better chance of arranging things so that we can go somewhere. However, I couldn't commit till much closer to the time, and for larger weddings it would be a right pain to have to contact everyone individually to check that they could still come.

In the days when your family and friends pretty much all lived locally, it just wouldn't have been necessary

nappyaddict · 14/02/2009 21:46

My cousin had a large wedding (about 300 people) and just sent out invitations. Some people dropped out closer to the date so about a month before the wedding she just knocked those people off the booking.

wotulookinatasquotedinTheTimes · 14/02/2009 21:48

Tee2072 had an STD

eandz · 14/02/2009 21:50

in our case we had to do save the date cards because we have lots and lots and lots of family all over the world and had to get a good idea of how much to plan for (how many invitations would be needed as well) and to make sure key family and friends could 'save the date' before invitations were printed.

Yurtgirl · 14/02/2009 21:51

Save the date cards......!

Huh!

Friends of mine had Save the date MAGNETS!

eandz · 14/02/2009 21:55

yeah, this girl just did that...but for some reason never got around to sending out invitations.

she just had the wedding.

Stretch · 15/02/2009 00:51

Erm...We didn't need save the date cards as only people we see and close family where invited so we told them...in person, when we decided on the date! They got the invites 6 weeks before the wedding just to confirm!

Original poster

MummyDoIt · 15/02/2009 01:04

Sorry but people have managed without STD cards for decades. Centuries. They are a recent money-making scam and just are not necessary. Personally, I'd rather you spent the money on either an extra round of drinks for your guests or an extra for your honeymoon. I just cannot see the difference. If you can save the date when you receive the STD card, you can save the date when you receive the invitation. Just send your invitations out earlier.

OP posts:

nooka · 15/02/2009 01:38

wtf are "Save the date" cards????. If someone invites you to a party or whatever you decide to go (or not) reply and put the date in your diary. Simple. Is this new thing required because people are so bloody rude now and feel they can't possibly make social commitments just in case something more fun comes up?

tigerdriver · 15/02/2009 01:45

I'm with you, nooka, this is bonkers.

If you're getting married, just do it, you're not going not to do it (pedants: please note the avoidance of split infinitive) because your mates can't make it. You can always have a party or something if you need to see them.

Just one more money making thing like "wedding favours" etc etc.

olivo · 15/02/2009 13:25

we used save the date cards as we had to wait for invitations to be printed but wanted to give people plenty of time to book flights and hotels as we dont live in the UK. It meant they could then get a better deal on these.
But... mine were were something i created and printed myself from my PC, not bought ones.

tumtumtetum · 15/02/2009 13:27

Hmmmm

Well we didn't have them.

But then we were in contact daily/weekly contact with most of the people coming. So we simply told them when it was going to be. Kerching

SecretSlattern · 15/02/2009 13:42

My BF has sent out STD cards to everyone but me and her wedding isn't taking place until August 2010

fizzpops · 15/02/2009 13:59

I sent out save the date cards for a number of reasons.

We were getting married somewhere not nearby for most of our guests and wanted to give them some time to consider - worked out well for a lot of family as they booked cottages and shared with other family members instead of staying in a hotel.

We hadn't finalised all the arrangements and therefore were not in a position to send out the information that guests would require included in an invitation.

We were working on a fairly short time frame and getting married near to Christmas and wanted to make sure as many of the people we wanted there could make it.

As for spending twice as much on postage, I actually spent three times as much as I included saes for RSVPs... not a control freak - just organised

ThingOne · 15/02/2009 14:31

I've only had one STD card (and it was hand made, in the Christmas card) but I've had a few STD type emails and I thought they were very helpful. There are three weddings I would have really struggled to attend with six/eight weeks notice so knowing in advance was good.

I thought it was very practical response to the fact we live differently now. So surely it is only natural that ways of arranging big events change? It doesn't have to cost anything to let people know in advance. It's not like it's a bleeding pointless wedding favour, is it?

MaureenMLove · 15/02/2009 14:39

Actually, I've just done something similar to a STD card for DH's 40th birthday party.

Several parties that we've organised over the past couple of years have been missing a few important people, because we didn't send or mention the date long enough in advance.

We decided to do his party in June, so I contacted the people I really wanted there and asked them which date was good for them, tthen asked them to mark it on their calendar now. A couple of friends also work shifts, which need to be re-arranged well in advance if they want to come to our party, which I know they will.

nickytwotimes · 15/02/2009 14:40

I've never even heard of these things.

What a lot of nonsense.

FairLadyRantALot · 15/02/2009 14:44

I never ever received a "Save this Date" card...and, until reading the OP didn't know about their existence....lol
But...OP...yeah seems like a complete waste of time/money and trees...

fluffles · 15/02/2009 16:11

i've had a couple - no time, no place and no need to rsvp. they came about six months before the wedding and very helpful imo as they were good friends' weddings that i wouldn't have wanted to miss so was happy to organise holidays etc. around those dates to make sure we could make it.

one was in march and he knew we were all keen skiers and wouldn't want to clash our ski holiday with his wedding i'd say the same for any wedding in the main summer holiday season.

fluffles · 15/02/2009 16:13

should say - now that i think about it i thinks ours were by email. obviously proper invitations were paper.

nooka · 15/02/2009 19:08

Oh I think asking your key invites (family best friends etc)) about possible dates is totally different, and I'm sure most people do that, and probably always have done. Surely that's different to sending out basically two invitations?

Re the instructions aspects, friends of ours who had an international wedding (she is American, he is English) used a wedding website for all instructions. They just gave the link on the invite, and then all the details about how to get there, what hotels they could stay in etc were all on the web-site. It worked really well.

BlaDeBla · 15/02/2009 19:42

I think they're a waste of paper, time and stamps. What is the point if you are going to invite the person anyway?

nappyaddict · 15/02/2009 20:32

They make sense if you haven't arranged specific times yet I suppose but don't you usually decide what time the wedding will take place when you book the church/registry office?

sassy · 15/02/2009 20:34

WE had a "Save the date" fridge magnet complete with a pic of the happy couple on holiday somewhere hot. Hurl-o-rama

I can report that the inside part of my bin is inferior metal as aforesiad fridge magnet did not stick to it when lovingly placed within.

CaurnieBred · 15/02/2009 22:02

We had a Save the Date note - we did this as the wedding date was for a bank holiday weekend, in Scotland where I come from and all our friends were based either in England or overseas. We wanted everyone to have plenty of time to organise travel and accommodation. I put this together myself on an A5 sheet of paper - nothing fancy. The official invites then were sent out the traditional 6 weeks before the wedding. To be honest we did this becuase everyone we invited to the wedding we wanted to be there and we thought the best chance of having as many people there as possible was to give as much notice as possible.

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