To be REALLY worried. and WHAT TO SCREAM AT DH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mlm19]

DH in the building trade. Work has gone from maddness to almost non-existant. Perhaps the odd day here and there. He was working for a large house builder but they are waiting to sell more before continuing etc.

He has 8 months in his business bank account until nothing.

I feel sick everyday about it . I have been advertising, sending of ,letters etc etc. He rewhile is loving being at home with DC and hasn't lifted a finger saying "It will be ok, plenty of time to worry£

WHAT TO SCREAM AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would it help to know that my self-employed building trade DP has no work booked in his diary, not enough money in his account to cover this month's bills, and called me miserable when I told him off for taking a third day off to take himself sledging? Oh, and I had to pay half his tax bill in January. And, oh yes, we are supposedly starting to build an extension in the spring... and, erm, I'm six weeks pregnant.
The very thought of him saving up 8 month's worth of money in the bank makes me fall on the floor in a hysterical heap. Yes, I know, I've been told before that other people would never have got involved... anyway, I think it sounds like you're in a pretty strong position!

GOSH Biccy, yes I feel a bit crap now. Thats terrible.......Whats his plan?

Oh, didn't mean to make you feel crap . I've no idea what his plan is really, a wing and a prayer I think. He's an 'it'll all be alright' type too. I just think you can probably afford not to worry too much just yet - if he's been organised and hard working enough to save up that sort of cash, he's probably not the sort to rest for long. Maybe you could agree that he'll have x amount of time off as a break (2 weeks?), during which time there'll be no nagging or stress and he can do some of those things around the house that never get done (?) - but then he's expected to knuckle down and find some work?

Sounds right Biccy......fingers crossed for you, I would be keen to hear how your getting on.

Thank you. The good news is while I was mning he was actually out looking at a job which he seems keen to get on and price for, so fingers crossed.
I really do sympathise; it's so hard to watch them doing nothing and appearing not to care at all about their responsibilities, especially if you're a practical sort and all you can think is yes, it looks lovely living in the moment, but what about destitution? And people say 'I wouldn't stand for that' but can't tell you what 'not standing for it' would actually look like... anyway, look forward to hearing how it goes with you too. xx

I do think having a positive frame of mind also brings it's own rewards though and you are in a better position that most.

8 months is a fair sum to have put by. I know many other self employed people who would have far, far less in the bank. I do understand your frustrations, my DH was self emp a long time ago and his head was buried firmly in the sand when his business was trading insolvently and our whole life was disappearing merrily down the tubes. Being a Ltd company helps to lessen the financial implications for him personally doesn't it?

I think you need to cut him so slack. There's not exactly a lot of work to go around at the moment and 8 months in the bank is a lot. Most people have far less than that. We have 6 weeks worth and DH has been off for 2 weeks already. You nagging him is only going to make things worse. We made a list of things that need to be around the house and he's tackling them as much as he can without buying stuff.

I think you could ask him to help out a bit more around the house but getting cross with him will just make things difficult between you two...

Thanks for your comments. I slept on this last night and told him this morning I was not going to mention it for 2 weeks but after that I want a plan!

Babybump2b - I am guessing your pregnant as well? Not easy is it. What do you think your DH will do?

Yes smudgethepuppydog it does lessen the implications personally, the house for example isn't involved but then I don't think it would be anyway as they don't buy any materials and so are always in the green IYSWIM?