To have lent my Ex P £2.50 for busfares?

[curlygal]

My Ex is crap with money. He ends up with no money left by the middle of the month.

He is also lazy and unreliable for DS.

He had agreed to collect DS from nursery yesterday at lunch time for the first time in while (he's been "too tired" lately)

He txted me asking me to phone him. On the phone he asked me if I could put £2.50 inot DS's pocket for him to have bus fares to take DS to his house when he got him from nursery.

As it was a cold snowy day I agreed and duly put the money in DS's pccket.

When I asked DS what he did with DAddy he said they went to a coffee shop and that DAddy ate all his lunch (I have to make a packed lunch for DS as Ex won;t feed him otherwise).

Am pretty pissed off at having to lend a 35 year old father money in the first place, but even more if he didn;t actually use it to get the bus, and ended up walking the streets in the cold anyway

AIBU?

He ate your DSs lunch??? What did your DS eat?

YABU. I would have gone to collect DS myself if he was unable to.

I asked DS what he had for lunch (as I do every day even though I make his lunch for nursery and for Ex, he just likes to tell me) and he said "no I didn;t eat that, Daddy ate it" to most things I asked about.

Ex aslo said (in his usual condescending way) "what;s with the twiglettes" (DS has develioped a liking for twigletts so I had given him a little tub) I said he likes them to nibble on, Ex said "oh no he doesn;t so I ate them"!!!!!

Wot - I'd love to go and get him, I was at work which is why he was in nursery and Ex had agreed to collect him at lunch time.

Oh I see.

YANB at all! He sounds dreadful - he's literally taking food out of his child's mouth!

Is there anyone else reliable around who can help? Friends or family?

I know it's diffiuclt when you're on your own.

Hi Janos how are you?

Wish there was someone else to help. All my friends say that I should just put DS into nursery instead of trying to set up a day for him to see his dad as this has been going on for ages, but DS loves his dad so I feel I need to do what is best for him but I am so fed up.

"can you lend me £2.50 for the bus" I mean seriously.

I'm ok curlygal - having some issues with XP myself but that's another thread.

I really don't blame you for feeling fed up - he sounds like an irresponsible child rather than a grown man with parental responsibilities.

And am I right in thinking that DS didn't get anything to eat because of your XP's behaviour? Because that really is appalling.

YANBU at all. Quite the opposite.

I understand that your DS loves his Dad but I can't understand how someone can treat his son this way. That's not a criticism of you btw.

He doesn't sound bad but certainly very irresponsible.

Are you worried about leaving your DS with him?

YANBU

What a nob.
But unfortunately DS's dad so not a lot you can do until DS realises he's a nob. Sorry and you have all my sympathy coming from someone whose exp stole off his own son (3.00 dinner money) to go to a frigging casino

YANBU

i would ask him for the £2.50 back on principle

(so long as you are sure your child is telling you accuratly what happened!)

So he borrows money off you for bus fares, then spends it on a coffee for himself and eats his own son's food? What a complete tosser.

YANBU. You're doing a whole list of good things.

I am fairly certain that what DS is saying is accurate. I;ve asked him a few times now and he has said the same thing each time. Ex does sometimes take him to his house (which makes sense as he is supposed to have a whole afternoon with him), but it sounds very much like he didn;t do so this time.

If he doens;t have enough money for the bus fare he won;t have any money for food, so yes he will have eaten DS's lunch. DS may not have eaten it all at once but he would eventually eat it, am not impressed that I am paying for food for Ex to eat!

Is just so frustrating. I'm exhausted dealing with DS on my own I do not need to have to deal with Ex who basically is another toddler!

(hope you are ok Janos - will have a look at your other thread)

Christ on a bike, he ate his child's lunch?!?! That's unbelievable. And the 2.50 was for a coffee or something I suppose?

Since he steals his own child's food there seems little point in you sending him with a packed lunch anyway (I would just give him a super-filling breakfast and ask the nursery to give him a snack before he's picked up). And clearly don't believe any "bus money" stories you're told either.

What a tosser.

Exactly - you shouldn't have to deal with a grown man who who has less maturity than his own son FFS!

I really do understand how exhausting it all is.

I'm ok - just a bit stressed, but I've been through worse