Shouting at horrible elderly lady? (Rant, sorry!)

[MistyGee]

I'm really upset about this cause i was having a bad day before this all happened!
To set the scene, i have already had problems with this particular woman, who lives in my street... when we were moving in, she stopped and had a huge rant at my DP about some rubbish bags out the front of the house (not ours- we were just moving in!!) and how it wasn't bin day etc. We thought she lived in the same lot of flats but she doesn't! She was really aggressive and rude to him.

Despite this we've always said good morning to her when we've seen her in the street, and been ignored.
One afternoon when i was heavily pregnant she saw me coming ( i smiled at her) and then she actually RAN ME OFF THE PAVEMENT into the road with her electric wheelchair. Carried on round the corner while i stood there in shock. She went out of her way to get me...it sounds funny but at the time i was quite upset.
Anyway...
This morning i was strapping my 5mo DS's car seat into the car, and when i looked up she was there staring at me. I went to say hello, but she interrupted me with "you've been parked there all night, haven't you?" I said yes, i have. She said "well you're not to park there, my husband and i are disabled and if you park there, we might need a taxi or an ambulance and they won't be able to get to us". (I should point out at this point that said road is in the town centre, single yellow line, sign saying you can park there between 6pm-9am and there are always loads of cars parked there, even at the illegal times, and there is a huge driveway next to their flat that no-one ever parks in front of, so there is loads of space for a taxi/ambulance. No disabled signs or anything.)
I said "oh, sorry, was there an ambulance last night then?" "No." "Well....ok, whats the problem then?".
"Well it is a problem, i live here". "So do i , i live over there". Etc
So anyway i started getting a bit peed off, she was so aggressive and i'm pre-menstrual, and all sorts of other stuff adding up to not having a great day. Already been crying in the house.
SO i said "Look, i can park where i want, i have a 5mo son and a ridiculously bad back, so i'm going to park on this road outside the flat. I've only parked here (outside her flat) once." Then she started shouting at me saying are you disabled?! Have you got a disabled badge?! Don't park here then!! If you park here again and i catch you....
Then i lost my rag and said "Look, i have enough on my plate without you f**king having a go at me" at which point she said she was going to call the police so i said "go on then" and just got in my car. I was enraged at this point and shaking! She went up the path to her door then reversed out of the door to stare at me with the most evil look you've ever seen. I should have just left it but i got out and shouted up the path "can i just say, do you remember running me off the pavement when i was heavily pregnant?" and she just ignored me and went indoors.
I drove round the corner, parked up and burst into tears. I feel bad that i lost my rag with an old lady, but she was just so nasty.
I don't want this to continue, so i was thinking of contacting the local bobby to let him know the situation cause i'm scared of running into her. Maybe he could suggest she contacts the council to get a disabled space outside her flat...they dont even drive... i suspect this is not the issue though cause otherwise she'd be up there all day yelling at law-abiding motorists. i don't know why she's picking on me.
I get on really well with the elderly ladies in our building and i spent my own time voluntarily spending time with old people in a local home before i had DS so i'm not a granny basher!
Don't know what to do.

I know BitOfFun! I think I'm turning into a confused old one myself some days

Herbietea, am I right in thinking that even if you have a disabled space outside your house, any disabled permit holder can park there, not just the person living in the house?

Around a year ago i had an incident in which an old woman swung her bag of shopping at DS in his pram as I overtook her on a pavement.
There was something in her bag which landed on the bar of the pram (centimetres from DS' face) with a heavy clunk
I wasn't pushing the pram aggressively or owt, but for some reason she thought I was attacking her.
Obviously i saw this in hindsight - at the time I went apeshit, and after challenging her rather loudly for a minute, suddenly realised she hadn't got a clue what had happened.
I followed her home (semi on purpose, as she turned out to live around the corner from DS' nursery, where we were headed), noted her address and called the community support officers and reported the incident.
Turns our, when the officers visited me later that day, that she was 90-odd, almost totally on her own, and was in some stage-or-other of dementia. They got social services to start looking after her.
Apparently she had no recollection of the act, and was very distraught when the officers told her about it, but then seconds later was asking them why SHE'D called them.
I think a similar call would make you feel much better - it's not calling the police as such, but you're A/ getting it off your chest, B/ showing her her behaviour is unnacceptable, and C/ getting the 1st complaint in, as it were, so if she does call the police herself, you've already brought the matter to their attention.
Sorry you had such a vile experience - it's horrid, because you feel so guilty for shouting at an oldie.

she sounds like a nasty woman id just ignore her i had a row once on a bus as some old lady made a nasty remark about prams on buses and why is it they always push on the bus ahead of you some of them are just plain rude

I wouldn't worry about it, i've sworn at an old lady before (i didnt mean to at all, and when i told my friend she was shocked because its so not like me), but i can understand whn you've been pushed that much..
I would make sure you remember every time from now on she does anything, or make a note of it just in case out of spite she tries to involve the police, you can pull out your bit diary..

YANBU

some stranger "told me off" for parking on a bit of double yellow line once (I was NOT blocking anyone and only going to be there for a minute and was not parker danegrously or anything)

i very soon told him that as he was not was not a traffic warden there was absolutely nothing he could do about and if I wanted to risk a £30 fine than that was my perrogative!

Another stupid woman at a local school asked me to move my car as she could not get passed... well a 4x4 had got passed and so had a volvo and she had a ford ka... i told her of she cant manouver her vehical she should not be driving it on the road. Also told her that there was room for a bus to fit through!

Didn't you get the memo telling you that the world revolves around her and only her? No, I never get those either.

Poor you, I know it doesn't feel good getting in to a big barney with an old disabled lady (although she may have a case of the Andy Pipkins and be skipping about her flat when noone's looking!!) but she's harassing you and needs to know that you're not going to take it.
If she does it again tell her (very calmly) that you've contacted the local police and have been advised to keep a log of her harassment, starting with when she tried to run you off the pavement. That should shut her up, and if doesn't, then go to the police - she's asking for an ASBO!!

A baby can't walk either, so surely has the same rights as someone disabled?

Being old and/or disabled doesn't grant you automatic respect. It has to be earned by being nice, just like everyone else.

lol at 'a case of the Andy Pipkins'

Just had a thought - maybe the old lady used to be one of those 'babies are pointless, mothers are braindead' Guardian columnists-look to the future Polly Vernon and Rachel wotsername!

Try not to take it as a personal attack MistyGee, I doubt if she has targetted you.

I agree with whoever said that it could be the start of something like dementia.

My Gran's personality completely changed and she became very aggressive, both verbally and physically due to dementia. Initially it tended to be just verbal -she would say some nasty things that were so out of character. It then progressed to the extent that this little, old, frail, Scottish lady was trying to attack the care staff that were trying to help her .

Don't make excuses for her. She's a cantankerous old bitch

I do not think you are being unreasonable.

Remember that nasty old people were often nasty young people as well.

While I have the greatest respect for the elderly and disabled generally, and I am sure life is hard, this woman seems to be extraordinarily rude.

I have had one or two similar experiences myself. One was particularly horrible. My DS1 is a powerful swimmer, much faster than many adults and he was in the local pool once and an old lady doing doggy paddle objected to him swimming past her and grabbed at him under the water and tried to pull him under. I could see her doing it as I was also under water watching his strokes. I screamed at her and she denied it but when I pointed out that I was watching from a few metres away under the water she swam away in silence.

that's shocking, ABetaDad

Maybe have a word with the older ladies in your flats and see if they know her. They would know of any dementia and if they know her, could possibly put in a good word for you.