Am I being too picky with men??

[MissSingleton]

God I'm so fed up with the whole dating thing. I've changed my name for this as I genuinly am starting to feel like I'm being unreasonable but I NEED to input before I drive myself nuts.

I've been single for over 5 years now and I've spent a lot of time getting to know myself, increasing my confidence and thinking about what I want out of life.

I KNOW I am ready for another relationship but its hard for me to get out and meet people so I'm trying online dating.

I have ignored lots of messages so far (well, I've responded to the first one from each person to be polite but left it after that).

I did however continue conversation with 3 men.

I liked the sound of all 3 at first but now I'm doubting them too.

This was my most recent message from man 1 = (edited slightly to remove personal details)

"so i met 1 lass on here but she wos hard work would send 200 txts a day and if i dident reply to every one i was cheating mmmm carnt be botherd to txt all day espec if im busy dont mind chatting on computer wen not busy but thats different , ive broght my lad up he hardly sees his mother as shes to busy sleeping around hope she catches sumat lol.....must admit iv 4t about a holiday must declare iv never been abroad just always had a better idea for a grand at the time if you know what i mean would like to do one this yr try living abit more so what about you"

And to be honest, I feel so deflated I just can't be bothered to reply.

Man 2: Nothing wrong with his English or messages but he's recently declared that he lives with his parents and sister, goes to the theatre with his sister and the last time he went to the cinema was with his parents. I am put off. Shallow?

Man 3: I have been talking to him for 4 weeks now and know nothing about him. He's boring.

Please be honest with me, am I being too picky? am I being shallow? should I give up on net dating? are they all like this?

Rather depressingly No.1 will probably be getting lots of dates. You only have to watch a bit of daytime TV to see that he is entirely acceptable, no, desirable even, to millions of women. Do the decent thing - leave him for them. Their need is greater than yours. Personally I feel that people who persist in using text language in anything other than a text should be rounded up and euthanised, and that's when I'm NOT feeling pre-menstrual. It's quite a useful weeding out tool in internet dating though - at least you know where you stand and don't waste any time and effort actually meeting these people.

No 2. Hmm. I agree on the face of things he sounds like Timothy Lumsden, but I'd explore a bit further before you dismiss him. He could turn out to be a charming millionaire Sex-God who is just good to his mum. He could be living with them temporarily while he converts a 16th century barn with croquet lawn and stables. Just don't blame me if you go on a date, and he is, in fact, Timothy Lumsden.

No3. He may be utterly gorgeous and useful for a bit of transitional confidence-boosting sex. In which who cares if he's boring? Ask for a photo.

Mans view:

Man 1 .. Nooooo strange
Man 2 .. Apron Strings all over
Man 3 .. MARRIED

MissSingleton, try loveandfriends.com

like everyone else says,

1. don't lower your standards
2. meet anyone you think you might like soonish - however informally or briefly - in case he smells really bad or something so you are not too emotionally committed to someone who may not be all he seems online. (It is hard to let go of a dream, sometimes, so don't dream it too long before checking it out)
3. Are you tall and / or does height matter to you? I am not tall and nor is my gorgeous DP outstandingly tall. We met online and he told me later that he was very disheartened when he signed up that so many women specified 6 feet or over in the men they wanted (even the small women, often). I believe I have lucked out to get him because someone much better than me would have snapped him up if they hadn't put "6 foot and above please" in their profile. So if you can specify the height of the men you want to meet, say the shortest you can remotely stand and you will meet someone lovely and gorgeous, at less risk of back problems in later life.

Picky is never a bad thing.

Look at it like this: in RL, you wouldn't expect to want to date every man who you saw in a pub, or every man who walked past you in the street.

So why feel any pressure to date all the men who show an interest online? Ime when you reject a guy online there are millions more where he came from. And don't stand on ceremony - if you're not interested then stop contact. They won't be offended, that's how it's done.

Loads of people I know met their DPs online. People online are the same people you see walking around in RL. It's just a means of meeting them. The good ones are on there along with (sadly) the same shower of shit that exist in RL everywhere.

Can't your friends introduce you to anyone? Too many weirdo's out there. Don't mean to frighten you - but there is being picky and being safe. Good luck

Man 1: I too don't like text speak so that would put me off.

Man 2: As others have said he could be back at home because of his circumstances.

Man 3: PLEASE don't rule him out unless you've met him face to face. I really am not good at writing and don't come over that well in emails etc however face to face I'm really lovely,chatty and ever so funny if I do say so myself. He could be too, just give the guy a chance!

You can't be too picky IMO...

smudgie Love the fact you think Man No.3 is married. You're probably right!!! :)