to think I should have been told first?

[mrsout]

I just found out that my sister is having IVF. I found out from the woman behind the lottery kiosk in Tesco. She is my sisters best friends mother in law. My sister says that she didnt want the family to know because we would be upset. she has always told me that she didnt want to have children. I am so upset. For her and her husband, and for me. I know this shouldnt be about me but I cannot help but feel so hurt. Since our mum died she has been everything to me and to find out something like this from a shop assistant.

jesus,it's got nothing to do with you what your sister is up to-my sisters are the last people i'd discuss anything like that with-i have friends that i picked for their different qualities,my sisters are too close to me and although they are my sisters and i love them-they don't have first dibs on my news...

Perhaps your sister thought that if you didn't know then she could come to you whenever she wanted to feel normal; IVF is pretty intense and difficult. She may have wanted an oasis to get away from it in. Sadly her bf's MIL took that away from her.

You already have what she wants, she doesn't know whether she will be able to have dcs and perhaps she wants to be able to pretend that if it doens't happen, she didn't really want dcs.

I'm just starting ttc and the last people I want to tell are my lovely mum and sister to whom I'm very close - I can't face their excitement/questions/constant advice and I do feel that if it doesn't work for me I def don't want their sympathy until I am ready to discuss it in depth.

I'm sure she loves you very much and just wanted a bit of space - families can ask questions that friends can't sometimes and perhaps she wasn't ready for such a discussion. I hope you can sort it out soon, sounds like you are very close and that she needs you right now.