to want to know where I stand?

[shedded]

DH and I have been together for over 15 years and throughout that time he as got moodier and moodier. He flys off the handle at tiny things and regularly tears a strip off me about variuos things eg tidying, laundry, you name it. He has had some tough times eg parent dying, diagnosed with a serious health problem and is often stressed due to work(he is self employed)- All this I can and do forgive because I love him, he says he loves me and he loves our DC but recently he has just been plain nasty and insulting calling me useless and similar. Today I helped unloasd a heavy bit of kit from his van and had problems with it. I have a condition that means amoungt other things I cant make my hands work as I would like them to. He was just plain horrible and refused to even say goodbye as he sped off back to work. He hates talking about things but I cant let this carry on can I? I have a v good job and can be strong in other areas of my life but fear am being a doormat. Advice pease!!

Surely YOU are the one who decides where you stand... if you are married to an oaf then you have a choice to make (particularly if he won;t talk/ try to fix it).

I know that I sound harsh but the current economic climate and money worries are shocking but it can pull people together and not just apart. It sounds like your issues are not just about money but about respect. You should not put up with someone consistantly berating you. He sounds like a pain in the arse.

In fairness though, what are you getting out of this? Does he have real good points or are are you just miserable? If so then you should tell him it's a counsellor or a mate's sofa.

we all have our troubles - don't let him use his problems as an excuse for treating you this way. as you say, you also have a condition which makes your life more difficult, but you get on with your life, do your best and don't take it out on your loved ones. he should learn to do the same.

he's being very unsupportive and you need to know the reasons behind his moodiness. if he's depressed or having problems you can help him, but only if he tells you what is bothering him, rather than taking out his anger on you.

don't put up with it, you're worth more than he is giving you.

I have a suspicion he is depressed - he's not a bastard at heart. We have talked about it before and he knows he has a bad temper and takes stresses out on me. What drives me potty is that we have these talks where he says he's sorry and then it starts off again. I have always shied away from confrontation and am rubbish at saying how I feel so am probably partly to blame but it can't be right that almost every day he gets home from work and finds something to complain about? All I want is a happy home and w hat Ive got is a miserable DH who spends more time on his beloved forum than with me or his DC. Sorry for venting but I am just so fed up. I know its down to me to do something but what? I hate it when he gets angry.