For not wanting to play taxi tomorow?

[SweetAudrina]

My grandmother has monthly apointments at a clinic in a neighboring village and I usually take her to them.

I don't mind this, but what bothers me is that she never just wants to go to doctors, she wants to race around all over the place afterwards and I HATE driving. I especially hate 'blind' driving where I don't know where I'm supposed to be going as I just get so stressed out and panicky.

Last time, we went to clinic, I got lost on the way there as it's in the middle of nowhere. Afterwards she decided she wanted driving to my cousins so she could post some cards, we did that then she wanted to go to another neibouring village, I got lost on the way there, ended up being bibbed at by some impatient dickhead behind me, I couldn't find anywhere to park when we did get there...it just stresses me out and at the moment its really stress I can be doing without.

Anyway, her next apointment is tomorow. I have agreed to take her but I've since found out that she's planning on going "somewhere else" after the clinic visit and my mother and my auntie are all coming along for the ride.

My auntie has a car and is off work, she could take her to the clinic and then wherever else she wants to go.

It's my son#s birthday on saturday, I still have stuff to sort out for that, I have to make a hair apointment as my hair has not seen a hairdresser since last October (maybe longer), I have sons friend coming over after school tomorow which is also stressing me out as I'm terrible with other people's kids ....

ARGH - would it be unreasonable of me to ask my grandma to ask my aunt to take her to the clinic just this once as I have a lot on? She has already phoned my mum and asked if I wanted to do it as she can ask my aunt otherwise and my mum told her I wanted to

Can you ask your aunt? Or get your mum to?

Just give her a call and explain the circumstances. She has already told your mum that she has an alternative means of getting there so I am sure she won't mind going with your aunt instead.
And try not to stress so much, your son's birthday will be fine and so will your hair!

Of course YANBU. Phone your aunt and explain the circs, also your grandmother and mother. It's not reasonable to take advantage of your good nature like this. Perhaps in future you could also say somehow that while you're fine to take gran to and from appointments it's not ok to assume you're happy to be an unpaid chauffeur. IME some people just assume that cos you're a SAHM that you have nothing to do with your time. (Ahem. Must get off mumsnet and do chores...)

I think you are being a teensy bit unreasonable, but only because you've already offered! If you don't want to do it you are well within your rights not to do it, but to back out now is a little unreasonable. It also sounds like it's your issues that is making the process difficult? That sounds a bit rude but what I mean is it sounds like you enjoy driving her, but struggle with the whole getting lost thing - perhaps you could explain to her how anxious it makes you and ask her to provide details the night before so you can google map the journey?

Well I've booked a hair apointment for tomorow afternoon. That way I can still take her to the clinic as planned but I will have to leave early to make my apointment so won't be able to go anywhere else afterwards.

I think this is fair?

My grandmother was like this and whilst I didn't mind ferrying her around, it used to annoy me that I never knew what to expect and my plans seemed to go by the wayside. This contineud even when I met DH and moved away and it was a 90 mile round trip to see her. I mentioned it to her one day and it turned out that she just wanted to spend as much time with me as possible and all the friends I used to take her to...well, she just wanted to "show me off" (her words). On the few occasions I couldn't take her out, I used to tell her well in advance and she was fine. I would give anything to be doing this all over again as she died three years ago this month and I miss her like mad.

Yes it's fair in a sense, but not if your granny is relying on you to take her somewhere else too. Might put the kybosh on everyone's afternoon.

I think you need to address this truthfully.
Tell your mum about your need for haircut and to prepare for ds playdate, and get your aunt to drive this time.

Then have a chat with granny and tell her you like spending the afternoons with her but that you'd like to plan the routes and discuss where going first so you can ensure you're bakc in time for the school run.

You need clarity.

It's nice that you help your grandmother out once a month, and if she finds it hard to get out and about, she must see it as a good oportuniyt to take care of her errands.

But, find out in advance where else she needs / wants to go, plan around it, look places up and check directions, tell her well in advance how much time you have or do not have...and try and not get so worked up - so what if someone hoots at you? You do sound generally worked up - have a nice relaxing hour at the hairdressers!

YANBU - I hate blind driving. It's not the driving so much, I get really stessed about the parking. I hate reverse parking - totally crap at it.

Given the circumstances - ask the aunt.

You are helpful - an appt is one thing - a free taxi - very different.