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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take ds to the CM and call in sick

16 replies

SpecialOffer · 11/02/2009 09:59

I have a 19m ds, and work 2.5 days starting with this afternoon. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant, and have a really bad back.

I am considering calling in sick this afternoon, as I am just so exhausted, and I have just had enough today already. I am not actually bad enough to call in sick - just to make myself clear.

I have never called in sick before, and feel really guilty just thinking about it, as I think i will probably end up with more work tomorrow and Fri as we are soooooo busy in work at the moment. Just don't know what to do, also feel bad for thinking of taking ds to cm to gove myself a couple of hours off.

Am I being unreasonable to just want a couple of hours to myself?

OP posts:
mm22bys · 11/02/2009 10:12

Yep. You don't work full-time, if you want some time to yourself do it out of your work time and arrange some extra child care for your DC.

If you were genuinely sick because of your back, or if you got "approval" from your dr for sick leave that would be different though...

I've just listened to all these people on the radio who have applied for hundreds of jobs without success and you want to bunk off...not good enough in this climate and YABU.

sameagain · 11/02/2009 10:15

Could the CM have the children a bit early today, so you can have some time to yourself before going to work?

I feel dreadful ATM (I work Thu/Fri) but on the basis that I've kept doing what needs doing at home so far this week, I have no intention of skipping work.

Flightattendant12 · 11/02/2009 10:21

I don't really understand.

If you're completely exhausted and pregnant i would think that is a fair reason not to go to work - i am talking extreme preggo exhaustion here! Not just a bit tired.

I think that counts as not being well enough.

But Im not sure what you really are asking - if you feel well enough to work but just fancy a bit of shopping, then yabu!

But if you genuinely don't think you can move yourself off the sofa because of your back and being horribly knackered in a can't even keep your eyes open kind of way, firstly maybe you're a bit anaemic, and secondly, you're not going to make it to work anyway.

mm22bys · 11/02/2009 10:23

If her back is that bad then surely she needs to see a dr and then she would have the "ok" to not work!

Flightattendant12 · 11/02/2009 10:25

Yes, of course.

The OP doesn't sound very clear about how she feels and why she doesn't want to go in - that's what I'm trying to figure out.

mm22bys · 11/02/2009 10:27

She wants us to say that it's OK for her to bunk off because she's pregnant and got a "bad" back, but obviously not bad enough to see a dr .

mm22bys · 11/02/2009 10:29

SpecialOffer, I do actually feel for you.

If your back is giving you so much hassle, then I would see a dr. You're only at 15 weeks, and have a long road ahead of you and maybe you do need to be seen now, then you know you can either work safely, or you can't, and you won't need to feel guilty about taking some time out for yourself.

All the best,

MrsSeanBeanIsEmployable · 11/02/2009 10:29

If you are well enough to work YABU. If not YANBU. You mention a bad back but it seems you don't feel it's bad enough to warrant staying at home. However, that said, feeling exhausted and with a bad back does sound legitimate, I am sure many people have stayed off work with less. It's all down to yoru own conscience. The test I use is: am I well enough to have a browse around town and enjoy myself? If yes them I am well. If I just want to crawl into bed then I shouldn't be at work. Very muddled post I feel, but hope it helps a bit.

Original poster
SpecialOffer · 11/02/2009 10:41

Sorry had to go for a while.

To make it clear, I do have a bad back, but was going to hold off till Monday as I have MW appt then. I don't intend to shop or anything like that, I just want a few hours to catch up on sleep, have a rest.

I fully intend to see the dr this afternoon about my back, as I have called in sick. I do feel guilty as I am sure I could have managed to go in and work fine. I am just generally so run down at the moment and can't seem to pull myself out of it all. I think I was looking for people to ok my decision a little bit to ease my guilt - so apologies there.

Thanks for all the advice - you can always count on mumsnet for being honest!

OP posts:
MrsSeanBeanIsEmployable · 11/02/2009 10:44

Special offer, just to clarify, I wasn't implying that you were wanting to shop - this was just an example of something I might say to myself if I was in your position. Hope you feel better soon anyway.

mm22bys · 11/02/2009 10:45

Good for you Special. Hope the dr doesn't keep your waiting so you can have a good rest this afternoon - you're going to need it!

All the best,

Flightattendant12 · 11/02/2009 11:00

I thought you seemed a bit worse than what you said iyswim

You wouldn't feel the need to bunk off unless you were feeling grotty - i had hideous pregnancies and if I had been working I wouldn't have gone in much. Totally understand!

Have a good rest and hope you feel more alive tomorrow xxx

blossomsmine · 11/02/2009 11:22

I totally understand too. Sometimes when you feel 'off colour' and run down a few hours to yourself to get yourself back on track really helps. Hope you feel abit better soon.

Monkeygi · 11/02/2009 11:43

I agree with blossom. Sometimes it's better to pre-empt a more serious illness which could mean taking even more time off work. Lack of sleep/exhaustion can lead to all sorts of problems. And you're pregnant to boot! Don't feel guilty and make the most of your naptime.

lilstarry1 · 11/02/2009 14:39

I don't get these people that use the "current economical climate" as an argument for everything! If someone is feeling run down, sore, tired and generally unwell surely it's better that they take a few hours over, recover and wake up ready for a full days work than it is they drag themselves in and do a less than great job!

As an aside, I can't stand people that come to work when they are really ill - firstly, I don't want your germs and secondly, I don't want to have to cover your incompetence because you won't take a day off sick!

Fortunately I'm a SAHP which means my "colleagues" are always snotty / grotty / infested and I am now embracing such germy ways whilst constantly muttering "immunity, immunity".

Hope you feel better for your afternoon rest! x

Spaceman · 11/02/2009 14:47

I agree with you listarry. The 1000's of people looking for jobs are all potential slackers and sicknotes anyway, and wouldn't necessarily make better employees who never take time off sick. Pointless argument.

I felt worse at the start of my pregnancy than at the end and neeeded so much rest, so can totally sympathise, Although on the other hand I just know I would feel better about myself this evening having gone into work. It may be worthwhile just biting the bullet and going in as you'll probably just feel guilty the whole time and not rest properly anyway.

Hope you feel better soon whatever you do.

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