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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for being seriously pissed off about this? (damn facebook AGAIN!)...

21 replies

Disenchanted3 · 11/02/2009 09:52

My grandad is dying of lung cancer

Its got to the point where he has been given 1-3 months, obviously we are all devestated.

He recently set up his own little FB account and we say 'hello, how are you' and so on.

Theres a memeber of the family who we really don't see very often she is my grans niece.

Shes a bit immature, albeit being 30ish with 3 kids.

So I go to face book a few days ago and I have a 'notice'.

I open it and theres a buig picture of an angel floating down some 'stairs from heaven' Really cheesy, stupid stuff, with a heading

'Please pass this on to as many people as you can for my Uncle XXXXX who has cancer'

I mean WTF?? seriously, shes started some 'chain email' about him!

I get pissed off when I recieve shit like that myself and don't think twice about its contents and its really hurtful that people, random people will be forwarded this about my grandad and think 'who the hell is it?' and send it to their junk box!

I replied to it 'What the hell??'

in a bit of a temper actually.

AIBU to be pissed?

OP posts:
watsthestory · 11/02/2009 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

oneyummymummy · 11/02/2009 09:57

NOT AT ALL...I would have done the same thing then deleted her as a friend.

Sorry to hear about your grandad

Niecie · 11/02/2009 09:57

No YANBU. Sounds tacky and tasteless.

Is this person even related to your GF - you say she is your GM niece so wasn't sure. No excuse even if she is though.

lottiejenkins · 11/02/2009 09:57

I would have a word with her and say it is not appropriate and that youur grandfather wont find that kind of thing helpful. YANBU.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 11/02/2009 10:00

Shes my grans niece, so not blood relative and gran and grandad are seperated.

Shes sent another one this morning about some female friend with cancer

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 11/02/2009 10:01

yanbu. possibly she is relatively well meaning but at first glance it rather smacks of tasteless attentionseeking.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 11/02/2009 10:02

Immature is about right. She's obviously a dumbfuck sentimentalist with appalling aesthetics but she probably meant well. Unless you know her well enough to feel that it's actually attention-seeking, meddling behaviour? It might be worth someone else in the family who she gets on with having a quiet word along the lines of not spreading family business round your whole social circle.

Rachmumoftwo · 11/02/2009 10:03

Sadly, some people will use the pain and suffering of others to draw attention to themselves. She sounds like one of them.

I am sorry about your grandad. x

AitchTwoOh · 11/02/2009 10:04

some people are like that, i wonder if it's an equivalent of asking for prayers from strangers in a church? it might not be to your taste (and certainly isn't to mine) but i imagine she's not doing it to upset anyone. i don't know if i'd say anything, tbh.

MrsSeanBeanIsEmployable · 11/02/2009 10:06

I'm with SGB here (rare eh SBG?!)

I think it is tasteless, but TBH she probably means well in her own sentimental way.

I think YAB a bit U to get really angry, although I understand you are upset and this is a difficult time.

VinegarTits · 11/02/2009 10:06

YANBU i would be very angry if i were you too, very sorry to hear about your Grandad

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 11/02/2009 10:18

Thanks

OP posts:
Frasersmum123 · 11/02/2009 10:33

YANBU - what a stupid woman.

You are right to be upset and I would tell her so, then delete her as a friend.

AitchTwoOh · 11/02/2009 10:35

perhaps you should wait until you find out if your grandad is touched by the gesture before going deleting? or if you're not going to tell him... let it go.

Jux · 11/02/2009 10:40

Yeah, it's tacky and tasteless, but it makes her feel better. She's upset too and this is her way of dealing with it. YABU, sorry.

herbietea · 11/02/2009 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RaspberryBlower · 11/02/2009 10:54

YANBU and she's stupid and thoughtless, but probably without realising it.

Sorry about your Grandad.

longhardlookinthemirror · 11/02/2009 11:02

yanbu - I would feel the same... people can be so insensitive and thoughtless. I'm sure she too is feeling upset about the news of your grandad's illness but she is a distant relative and should have some more tact for your family and I think it is disrespectfull for the devastation you are feeling.

I too have recently lost 2 close family members to this, it is very difficult to see someone you love dearly slip away from you. My thoughts are with you.

tots2ten · 11/02/2009 11:05

YANBU

sorry to hear about your grandad.

Going through the same with my mum at the moment,

Wizzska · 11/02/2009 11:35

That would annoy me too. An Angel? He has cancer but he is still alive. If I had cancer and someone sent something like that out about me I would be really upset. Not to mention it being really tacky.

I am sorry to hear about your grandad.

macdoodle · 11/02/2009 11:37

Can I just say the blood relative thing shouldnt make a difference - I am exteremly close to my great aunt (she is my uncles wife, he was my beloved grans brother) so there is no blood link - - but I grew up very close to my uncle and aunt they were like grand parents to us - my gran and uncle are now dead But I couldnt love my aunt more if she was a blood grandmother
Though I think this niece is a bit OTT !

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