To expect more...

[skatingonthinice]

I looked after a friends dog for a weekend, She has said thanks, but I must admit I think its mean of her not to even give me a thank you card. Maybe I shouldn't have done it if this is upsetting me. Any thoughts?

Does seem mean to not give anything to thank you, but I equally think you can't expect it. She asked for a favour, you agreed. If it was me, I'd have given something for that kind of favour but with some people we do favours back so it comes around anyway.

It would have been a nice gesture but I think YAB(a little)U to expect it as it was only a weekend

I think you friend is mean not giving you a thank you card or a small gift, like a small bunch of flowers or box of chocs or something. Do you already have a dog? If not you have done her even more of a favour if you are not used to dog hair etc all over.

Yes I would do flowers or box of chocs. I wouldn't write a card. But you can't expect it.

I have often looked after other people's animals when they're away, and only got a thank you. TBH never expected anything else.

I'd have given you a bottle of wine or some flowers at least. I don't give anything to my parents (unless it's a longer holiday in which case we bring them something back) but they enjoy it and they're family after all.

I would defo have got you bottle or wine or flowers. Was it last weekend? If so its only Tuesday, mabye she will pop round with something in the next couple of days?

yabu
my neighbor gave ds a hmv voucher after I lloked after her cat, but I had been helping her for ages, not just a weekend

what sort of looking after did you do?

move in to the house, walk the dog several times, or just pop in and feed it a couple of times?

if you are good friends and help each other out , then not worth making a big deal out of it

surely you did not help out just to get some flowers or chocs, but becasue it is what friends do?

Did you do it for her or for the card/chocs/flowers?

If you did it to get stuff then you are BU and should not do it again, if you did it for her than you should not expect to get stuff!

Perhaps she has something planned that you don't know about. Perhaps she thought it was a small favour and did not require a card.

I would have bought chocs - but if I had forgotten/not had chance and the person was peeved about it I would think they were BVU!

Yes she took someone else's slobbery mutt in to her home for the weekend in the faint hope she might get a box of chocs out of it hat she could have bought herself!! As if!

Come on we are talking simple manners here, and obviously the OP is surprised here as she thought her friend had more of them!

She said thank you, why would a card be better?

Shouldn't worry about it - just don't offer again if you don't feel favour will be reciprocated.

I like to thank people with a little card/gift to indicate that I realise they've put themselves out on my behalf. I don't much like it when I feel a little bit taken advantage of/that my efforts haven't been particularly noticed or appreciated by the person I am doing a favour for. As others say, could it be something that she'll do for you in future?

(having said that, I don't do favours FOR anything, it's just nice that people recognise you have gone out of your way)

A bottle of wine or some chocolates would have been lovely. People generally don't do things for what they might get but people shouldn't forget to show decent appreciation. We quite often give my PIL a bottle of wine for having the kids for us.

I always give flowers when someone does me a favour. But as one of my neighbours said to me, then they feel awkward asking for a favour back. Ideally it should be about reciprocation not reward.

I'm so pleased this caught my eye. Our young neighbour came in once a day and fed our cat while we were away over christmas. I usually give her money and had no UK cash at the time of her giving the keys back and I said I would sort it out with her (she always says I don't need to give her any money but I'm sure really she would be upset to not have it). I am mortified to realise that I never did give her any money!!!!

I probably wouldn't expect more than a thankyou.

Thanks for the replies. I don't have a dog and it was a big responsibility for me. I didn't do it to get anything , I just would have acted differently and from what I've read I suppose most of us would have.

I wouldn't have expected anymore than a 'Thanks, it was great of you to have him/her!' when they collected the dog.

She's a friend isn't she? Don't you do things to help each other out? I've had friends kids for longer and not had anymore than a quick 'thank-you-hope-they-behaved' as they headed home!

Friends do friends favours. I'm glad my friends & I are all 'low maintenance' if we all felt cards, presents etc were necessary when we did each other favours we'd be broke

If you just popped next door and chucked some biscuits in a bowl once a day, then a verbal thankyou is fine. If it was more like full-on pet sitting - i.e. travelling to her house, possibly more than once a day, doing more than straightforward feeding, or even staying in the house, and therefore it causing quite a disruption to you for more than a day - then I would say a tangible thankyou is in order, meaning bottle of wine, box of chocs etc. I do this for the friend who housesits and looks after my cat when I'm away, and have given her money to buy food with for the week when it's that long. People who are reliable about looking after your pets are worth rewarding; besides, you can get chocs or wine for under a fiver and a stay in kennels or a professional pet sitter would be a lot more!

Having said all that, it's always up to the pet owner if you are not doing this on a professional basis. So I think YANBU but there's no recourse other than to say no next time.