to complain about this question?

[TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2]

It's the good old "does she have sugar in her tea?"

I went for my new patient appointment today. I'd forgotten to take the questionnaire with me (Mum took it as it's easier with me on crutches for others to carry, when we went before so I forgot about it) so the receptionist gave me a new one and asked "Can you fill it in? Do you need that gentleman [my dad] there to fill it in?" My straight face reply was "It's my back that's bad, there's nothing wrong with my brain".

The woman was constantly snotty with me, she spent ages looking at the computer to see if I had enough time for an appointment if I filled in the form (which isn't that long anyway), I felt like saying "well if I did you've just spent it finding out!"

Would you complain?

I would imagine your reply to her probably well-intentioned question put her on the defensive and she didn't handle anything well after that. Receptionists get a lot of aggro and many go into self-defence mode at the slightest provocation. I don't know your story and I apologise if there is some reason why there's more to your post than meets the eye, but I would think that had you just replied 'No I'll be fine, thanks', the rest of your visit would have gone better.

for you tink! what a silly woman. But I wouldn't complain, you probably embarrassed her enough.

I went to a GP surgery (not my own) for DS's hearing test when he was 12mo. I had a letter for the appt, and when I went in there were 2 receptionists (this surgery is a bit complicated as it combines 2 older ones). I went up to the one who wasn't doing anything and started off with "I don't know if I'm in the right place.." as in, where do I go from here, and she said in a bored voice "probably not then". So I immediately upped the superciliousness, said "oh is this NOT the * surgery then?" and handed over the letter so she could see where it was I had to go. She was somewhat abashed but no apology. I just made loud comment as I left about rude unhelpful staff.

Nowhere near as bad as your situation but these receptionists must realise that they are the first point of public contact and as such should have a more professional (and polite) attitude from the off. I am not suggesting they should meekly take all abuse (and I know they get it) but really, a bit more thought about how they present themselves wouldn't go amiss.

She was snotty from the moment I approached her window, not just since I replied to her or when she found out I didn't have the form. She was rude a few times before that.

Do they ask everyone if they need some random (she didn't know my dad was with me) man in the waiting room to fill in their form?

Sorry I'm NAK, not meaning to drip information

she might of been trying to be helpful just coming across in a snotty way! lol. If she saw u come in with ur dad she might of remembered he was with you perhaps? i wouldnt complain and she didnt say anything bad / offensive to u. i agree she sounded awful

If you're going to complain about someone being rude the time is then and there, whilst they are doing it.

Yes I would complain - it's a bloody stupid question at any time but in a medical setting it is completely unacceptable.

When you pulled her up on it her correct response should have been embarrassment & an apology, before completing her work with a good attitude. Unprofessional, unacceptable & the only way she'll get that message is a complaint (in writing to the practice manager). People put up with far too much (& I speak as someone who works (& whose family all work) in the NHS).

To the people who said she was being helpful, why would anyone ask if someone who they know nothing about was capable of filling in a simple form? Do you think she asks that question of everyone? I don't think that she asks everyone whether that man over there would be able to fill out the form better than they could.

My dad didn't go in at the same time as me, it was snowing so he went ahead with the baby and I locked up. He was sitting in the waiting area but closest to the desk. It is a hole in the wall with a desk their side, they have to stand up to see much on the other side so she couldn't really have known we were together. I didn't speak to him whilst I was talking to her until she said that to repeat it to him.

I didn't complain at the time because I am new to the surgery and don't know anyone there.

I meant complain to her. The person whom you thought was being rude to you. At the time they were doing it. Not wait until your tail feathers were properly ruffled and do one later to someone else. If you were too flustered at that very moment to say something then you could have said something to her when you'd regained your composure. Or if you see her again and feel she is being off with you, say then. For all you know she may have been completely oblivious of causing you any upset and would be horrified that she had.

It seems to me than MN is full of this. People posting "Should I have said something?" and everyone coming back full of self righteous tail fluffing and the OP goes off bristling with outrage and complains. My opinion is that (unless it's something really appalling or dangerous) if you don't say anything at the time then you've missed the boat.

p.s., I missed the end bit off which was:

Complaints (especially in writing) usually fall under the 'procedures to be followed' banner and can cause a fair bit of work and a paper trail. And then we all complain that the NHS workers are tied up in red tape rather than doing the jobs we'd like them to be doing!

Also, it can create far more trouble for the person who's been complained about than the complainer intended. This may or may not bother you but it is something to consider.

I don't think it's necessarily that easy Nekabu. Not everyone is assertive enough to speak up for themselves at the time, and sometimes (and I find this) I am so shocked or angry at someone's behaviour that I don't say anything.

Sounds like you had wandered onto the set of Little Britain. (Carol and her computer.)

Seriously though, if you were standing at the desk on crutches she might have thought it would be difficult for you to stand there, balance the crutches and fill in the form. Maybe she was genuinely trying to be helpful?

Surfermum, that's why I said if the OP was too flustered at the time then say after regaining composure or even the next time she saw her.

It does sound helpful to me - if you are using crutches she might have thought it might be difficult to fill in a form too, especially as you had got someone else to hold it for you.

I think that complaining about that would be an over reaction.

BTW someone who could come back with "It's my back that's bad, there's nothing wrong with my brain". to an offer of help (albeit unwanted and maybe clumsily phrased) does not exactly sound too meek and shy to say boo to a goose!

YABU - sounds like your back was hurting, you need to get it sorted out and were a bit grumpy with her. And you had forgotten the questionnaire.

Let it go!

It sounded from your OP as if she was asking if you needed physical help with something you would ordinarily be able to manage, but having both hands tied up holding your crutches made this difficult for you

rather than mental help because obviously you were too weak in the head to remember your own name.

I think she asked a genuine question - although perhaps phrased it quite clumsily.

And, I have to say, I think if anyone was rude, it was probably you.

sorry

agree with squonk

illiterate or disabled people are sometimes ashamed that they can't do things like this.

the receptionist obviously needs some soft skills training about special needs becuase in my line of work we call it the "oh i forgot my glasses" technique, where people embarrassed by their lack of skills or disability make an excuse not to participate

she should have asked if she could fill the form in for you -in a nice tone and then you could reply "no thank you"

I see what you mean Nekabu, but some people aren't assertive enough to raise things with people later either.

My back wasn't hurting! I have a disability that means I need to walk on crutches.

I didn't have time to call her on it then, like I said she made me late for my appointment, after I had come out I realised I would have a better opportunity tomorrow to bring it up. I do think that this is a disability awareness issue and it's not going to make much difference for her to be told by a patient.

I'm intelligent enough to not get riled by MN, it's stupid comments about my disability from people who should know better that rile me and MN won't change that.

My dad was sitting down so I could just as easily have sat down to fill the form in. It would have been just as easy to say "have a seat and bring your form back when you've filled it in".

Thanks Herbie. I don't get that too often as I don't use a wheelchair, I sometimes use a scooter as I can't walk for long enough to shop. I find when I'm in a scooter I get funny looks like I'm messing around - yeah, too young to need one, what were customer services playing at?

I was treated for PGP when I was pregnant (baby is almost six weeks) because it's about all they can do and pregnancy made things worse for me. I got so annoyed though at the amount of people who said "it'll get better when you've had the baby" nope, three years later and it's no better. My other pet hate is (this weeks comment for example) "looks like you've been having a hopping good time" I don't mind so much when it's someone who knows me who hasn't seen me for awhile, but random strangers asking what I've done to myself is

Because I did this whilst I was pregnant I have suffered from PGP between pregnancies too, when I got pregnant with this one I was sent straight to the PGP class and was the earliest at 8 weeks!

I keep meaning to get a blue badge but haven't got around to it yet, I use the P&C spaces usually. I normally have a child with me as I don't go shopping alone so don't normally have a babysitter, when I was pregnant I was well aware (my BIL used to be a manager at the Tesco I shop at and is still a manager elsewhere) that they're for pregnant women too. Rarely I'm without a child but that tends to be late at night when the children aren't normally shopping, but I still sort of look pregnant.

One of my favourite HCP comments, it made me laugh rather than upsetting me, was after my section when I was got out of bed for the first time. It took two people to half carry me to the wheelchair and one said "You need to stand up straight" (I looked like I was in one of those chairs that tilts to help you out IYSWIM) "Without my crutches this is straight!" When Tink was born the NNU nurses complained that I called a porter every time as I was past ten days, physio told me many women have fainted on the walk to the NNU.