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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think twice about our babysitter increasing her hourly fee?

63 replies

stickytape · 09/02/2009 21:32

We have a weekend evening sitter-- we love her and so does dd, who is a school age, only child.... So even though we pay her a bit more than other sitters charge (9/hour) we love to have her taking care of dd.

She just told me that 'due to the current economic conditions' she is raising her rate to 10/hour (in London btw).

What do you think? Our income is currently far below normal, we are cutting back massively, though a night out is a luxury (an important one, I think). It seems like prices are stable or decreasing, not going up.

I don't know what to say to her. I feel so close to her, so I hate having any 'business' speak. This year we gave her 100 pounds for a gift (some on her birthday and the rest at Christmas.

Just thought I'd see your thoughts. I have no idea if I'm being unreasonable or not and welcome constructive advice.

OP posts:

nannynick · 11/02/2009 19:36

"we love her and so does dd"
Why would anyone who has a babysitter who is written about like that, who is well known to the family and loved by the child, change to using an agency?
Sure the cost MAY be less (remember that agencies have additional fees to the hourly rate) but is the saving worth it... you trust the current babysitter, building that level of trust with someone new could take some time.
Pay whatever she asks... cut down on Xmas/Birthday present. If it gets too costly then reduce how long/how often you go out.

poppy34 · 11/02/2009 19:45

nick has a point - I'm a big fan of sitters but 1. if you add in the agency charges the rate does go up to something closer to 8/9 per hour than 6 (depending on how often you use em) 2. strictly speaking kids are meant to be in bed/ready for bed so what your siter does is in addition to what you'd get from an admittedly excellent/reliable agency.

Leo9 · 11/02/2009 19:55

well it's only a few quid - i'd pay alot more than that not to have to use an agency, which is to your dd at least, a complete stranger coming in just so mum and dad can have a night out each week. I think your dd is worth it! And yes as others said you could go out less or for less time, small sacrifices IMO

Original poster

stickytape · 14/02/2009 00:07

Thanks so much to all of you for sharing your thoughts.

I'm thinking I will probably just pay it, and go out an hour later and cut back on the gifts slightly, as you suggested.

I have thought about negotiating, but I don't feel comfortable about it. I will probably be honest and say it's not a good time to be paying more, but we value her very much.

I appreciate all the feedback... thank you.

OP posts:

StudentMadwife · 14/02/2009 00:20

Id suggest making a subtle point that it is the maximum you will pay her (in case she tries to push a little further a few months down the line) but that you value her sitting and quality of care or something along the lines of...

Tigurr · 14/02/2009 05:24

I agree with the posters who've said to stick with her but for shorter hours.

So instead of having her come around for 6pm, have her come around for 7pm or even 7.30pm and have your DD ready for bed (or even in bed already).

That'll save you a little bit.

It's great having a babysitter you know well and trust and who your child likes.

ssd · 14/02/2009 08:06

TBH I think you've been too excessive with the gifts, definately cut back there

ChoChoSan · 16/02/2009 12:54

Your babysitter is asking you for a pay rise that exceeds 10%...this is a bigger payrise than I have ever received and is many times the rate of inflation!

I may be wrong, but I am assuming that your babysitter does not pay tax on her wage, which means that, if she were doing 37.5 hour/week job, she would be coming home with about the same income as someone with a salary of around £25k.

This is more than many newly qualified teachers holding a degree and postgraduate qualification.

You might wish to make an assessment of her qualifications, experience, and abilities to make sure that you feel that you are getting value for money, and if not (or if you can simply not afford it), then find someone else.

If indeed your babysitter is reflecting the current market, then she should not struggle to find an alternative.

I would agree with the poster above who recommended that you present this in a pleasant manner, and thank her for her work, as she is perfectly entitled to put up her pay rate, especially if she has not done so for a long time, though it might be a little misguided if she loses customers.

blueshoes · 16/02/2009 13:15

stickytape, sounds like the right thing to do.

nappyaddict · 18/02/2009 09:06

I wouldn't pay more than about £7 for someone qualified and £5 for anyone else. Shop around and see if you can find someone cheaper. Give them a trial run and if you like them tell your old babysitter you can no longer afford her prices and have found someone cheaper.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 18/02/2009 13:51

I've babysat for friends and happy to do for free or a donation if regular (no more than £10-15 for the whole evening) but do anticipate that the kids are mostly ready for bed. In exchange... I enjoy their TV and nibbles , plus reassuring their kids if they wake up etc etc. Obviously I'm not a professional career babysitter and only help out friends/family.

However, I think £10 an hour is reasonable for entertaining your DD before you go out. If you're worried about your DD getting bored as she's an only child, maybe you could find other ways of giving your DD more interaction (Rainbows/Brownies etc?) and just have the babysitter for bedtime. That way, you can probably have a longer night out with DH for the same or less money and keep the lovely babysitter!

Definitely cut back on the value of your gifts though, seems exceedingly generous. I would probably spend £10-£12 on a Boots gift box (less if 3 for 2!!)

Lotster · 18/02/2009 14:08

Am completely shocked you gifted her £100 last year!! I don't spend £50 each on birthday/Christmas on my best friends so she must assume you've got it to spare and is taking the piss.

Plus the "due to current economic climate" crap - she's a weekend babysitter FGS!! Most people in this "climate" are losing their jobs and taking pay cuts, it should be you explaining to her you might not be able to give her as much sitting, not the other way around with her hiking prices...

Feel so annoyed for you because being a people-pleaser myself I would hate this conversation and be tempted to stick with her because she's familiar, but she's already very expensive. I'm in London and would only expect to be paying £9 for two children to someone very qualified in childcare and first aid etc... As it is I pay a sensible girl in my road a fiver an hour, plus a fiver extra if it's midnight or later. She gets biscuits and tea and I know her mum's a few doors down.

I think you need to give her a reality check, explain the children love her but she'll be going without money altogether from you if she enforces this. If that's too harsh, another tack could be to say you just can't afford it, but will make an extra portion of dinner for her on those nights, but you really shouldn't have to.

RosieMac · 18/02/2009 14:26

We have had the same sitter for 4 years. There is a large sailing regatta in our village every 2nd year and one year she told me she'd need more per hour for babysitting that week. I sat her down and told her that if she was even old enough to work in a shop (which she wasn't at the time) she'd only get the minimum wage and she'd be running around working hard as opposed to sitting on our sofa eating our biscuits and drinking our coffee while watching our TV. She was actually quite embarassed (I think her friends put her up to it) and we have never discussed money since.
Stand up to this girl. Rx

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