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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that a dad should be allowed to use baby changing facilities?

38 replies

notcitrus · 09/02/2009 21:01

Went for a family get-together on Sunday, to a branch of a chain of restaurants that boast about being child-friendly. With 3 babies, we double-checked that they had a baby-changing facility, and their website confirmed they did.

So in the middle of the meal MrNC takes our baby off to change him. And returns five minutes later very apologetic, but the only baby-change table is in the ladies loos, so he wasn't allowed in. We checked - he had asked the staff if it was OK, and been told no, he would have to get someone else to change his baby, and no he couldn't do it elsewhere in the restaurant.

AIBU to think it's out of order both to advertise baby-change facilities if half the population aren't allowed to use it, and that if a changing table happens to be in the ladies loo, that a chap ought to be allowed in to use it?

I would have kicked up a polite fuss at the time but certain family would have been mortified, so will have to write a tetchy letter later.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 09/02/2009 21:02

That is absolutely absurd. What if the dad is there without the mum? Or if there is no mum?

I would definitely write a letter. And maybe name and shame the restaurant here on Mumsnet.

smellen · 09/02/2009 21:03

YANBU - but sadly a reflection of the way society really thinks who should be looking after the children.

Belgianchocolates · 09/02/2009 21:03

YANBU and I've been wondering about it myself for years. It must be so difficult for single dads.

BananaFruitBat · 09/02/2009 21:03

Another vote for Name, Shame and write that letter.

hannahlouhoo · 09/02/2009 21:03

Name and shame!

differentCupID · 09/02/2009 21:03

Personally I think that all loos should be unisex and do away with all this malarkey. All cubicles.

bracingair · 09/02/2009 21:04

deinately write. its absurd. If he was out on his own what was he supposed to do?

myfunnynametaken · 09/02/2009 21:04

if the baby changing facilities are in the ladies then, IMO, men shouldn't be allowed in. The real problem here is that the facilities were only provided in the ladies, when they should also have been put in the gents.

Or just put them in the disabled.

ChippingIn · 09/02/2009 21:22

No bother - just change the baby in the most visible part of the restaurant - watch them fix that little problem PDQ!!

Were the 'disabled' toilets not unisex?? Although I do have to say, I feel really mean using them when LO has a horrible nappy!!

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 09/02/2009 21:26

I this it is awful name and shame is definately the way to go and also write to them.

wobbegong · 09/02/2009 21:26

Name and shame please! That is utterly outrageous!

Twims · 09/02/2009 21:28

Name and shame

andyrobo237 · 09/02/2009 21:29

Name and shame!!

Write a very snotty letter as baby changing facillities in the ladies only is sexist!!

Ivykaty44 · 09/02/2009 21:29

Was this a Whitebread place?

VanillaPumpkin · 09/02/2009 21:30

This happened to my dh when we were out shopping. I was doing shoes with dd1 and dd2 did a poo so off dh trotted to the dept store to get her changed. Except he couldn't because the changing unit was in the ladies. He asked and they were very apologetic and eventually got a changing mat that he could use on the floor of the disabled toilet. Not ideal but at least they tried. They said they would mention it to management but we haven't been there again so don't know if anything happened as a result.
Tis madness.

myredcardigan · 09/02/2009 21:31

You must name and shame so we can all avoid.

Belgianchocolates · 09/02/2009 21:44

The problem isn't just in that particular restaurant though. This needs bigger action than naming and shaming, though I don't know what (A letter to your MP, a petition for parliament?), because nearly everywhere I go the changing facilities appear to be in the women's toilets and that's not right in this day and age.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 09/02/2009 21:48

YANBU - this is completely ridiculous and unreasonable. Definately worthy of fring off a letter of complaint to.

Please, please name and shame!

terramum · 09/02/2009 21:49

Very ridiculous. Name and shame please.

This kind of scenario always makes me remember that scene in Jack and Sarah

TBH I wouldn't mind a man in the ladies changing their LO.

piximon · 09/02/2009 21:53

YANBU, I have 5 dcs and often comes across this. If we're all out together it makes sense for dh to change nappies of dts while I feed the baby. Dh has been known to change on seats, in buggies, on coat on the floor if need be.

Qally · 09/02/2009 21:54

Could there be a Mumsnet name and shame topic area for this type of thing? So many women post/lurk here, it might apply consumer pressure. Plus just be useful, when planning family outings.

catweazle · 09/02/2009 21:54

Everywhere I've been, the changing table is in the unisex disabled toilet.

Qally · 09/02/2009 21:56

Catweazle - same, except JL who have a fab, well equipped and specially designed "parents room". Change areas are either side of the sink as part of the run of units - not stranded in a fold-out thing in the middle of the room.

scifinerd · 09/02/2009 21:59

Good idea Qally, can we also add to the name and shame baby feeding areas that are basically the toilet next to an overflowing nappy bin.

Ivykaty44 · 09/02/2009 22:03

Actually - if they are advertising as baby friendly then would this not be covered by trade descrition as they are only mother and bay friendly and not father aswell?

Get on to trading standards and ask? That way they could possibly be made to take down there baby freindly signs, as baby cant only ever travel with female carer,

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