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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a bit surprised at

19 replies

LoisGriffin · 09/02/2009 19:07

friend who has had 100s of meals at our home, been well fed and watered, (especially watered - ok wined...) who has only just moved out of bedsit into flat with kitchen (with help from dp and myself covering deposit while cheque cleared)and FINALLY cooked us Sunday lunch, cooked something that I can't eat??

Feel a bit puzzled.

I am lactose intolerance and along with a (admittedly) delicious roast pork and veg he served potatoes done in cream and butter etc.

OP posts:

smudgethepuppydog · 09/02/2009 19:10

Lots of people don't really understand what lactose intolerance means, are you absolutely sure he links lactose intolerance with butter and cream?

LucyJones · 09/02/2009 19:11

maybe he just didn't think/realise?

Twims · 09/02/2009 19:12

At the least the thought was there.

TheArmadillo · 09/02/2009 19:13

maybe he forgot? When it's not your intolerence then you can forget to consider every part of every meal and what it contains.

My dairy intolerence is getting worse and I have had to go on a strict dairy free diet (something I should have done years ago). My dp forgets and will offer me chocolate chip biscuits or will suggest we get takeaway pizza for tea. It's not cos he doesn't care, it's because it genuinely slips his mind because he doesn't have to consider it all the time.

Your friend probably didn't mean any malice, just didn't think.

kiltycoldbum · 09/02/2009 19:13

at least he tried!

AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 09/02/2009 19:15

why didn't you just refuse the potatoes and scoff the rest, expressing delight and gratitude at the effort he had gone to ??

it sounds lovely

Original poster

LoisGriffin · 09/02/2009 19:15

You think?
Lack of thought, I think.

He knows v well about what I can and can't eat as is constantly asking about it.
Also, not a difficult thing to leave out of Sunday roast (ok no Yorkshire puds...)

OP posts:

GrimmaTheNome · 09/02/2009 19:15

He.
nuff said?

TrinityRhino · 09/02/2009 19:15

you could eat the pork and veg though?

maybe he just forgot or thinks it just means you cant have milk

and it is the thought that counts

and by the way you have listed all you have done for him it seems you are racking up things he has to pay you back for and expecting certain things in return

didn't you just do those things to help him and for the thanks

and you ennjoy his company obviously or you wouldn't have been having him round for meals and wine

maybe he can only cook that??

thisisyesterday · 09/02/2009 19:16

agree, my parents still struggle with it despite cooking for me and ds2 every sunday for over a year! lol

and yes, you shoul dhave just eaten everything bar the potatoes surely??
it wasn't like there was nothing you could eat

compo · 09/02/2009 19:17

oh yes I think yabu

if you are feeling abit used stop cokking so much for him and helping him out financially
maybe this is just a sign telling you that you are fed up with him taking the mickey and perhaps a warning that you need to have a bit of distance for a while

compo · 09/02/2009 19:17

cooking not cokkng

Nightcrawly · 09/02/2009 19:18

Agree with Trinity Rhino, at least he tried and there was certainly things for you to eat there.

Original poster

LoisGriffin · 09/02/2009 19:18

Of course stuffed myself with everything else and was yummy...
It's just that he'd made such a fuss about being to repay all our kindness.
So not looking for payback as such

OP posts:

AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 09/02/2009 19:19

tbh, lois, the tone of your post tells otherwise

Original poster

LoisGriffin · 09/02/2009 19:24

Yes ok I suppose I am a bit otherwise I wouldn't have posted at all!
Just voicing something I can't add up...

OP posts:

AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 09/02/2009 19:28

to be a peed off is only human, but don't forget, he is a bloke

AnyFuckerForAShiteSoppyCard · 09/02/2009 19:29

a bit peed off

LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 09/02/2009 19:43

My mum is intolerant to cow dairy and gluten, has been for years I STILL struggle sometimes when she comes round as if you don't have to think about ingredients at any point then sometimes it just doesn't compute. (Remembers the time I bought apple pie and then remembers that pastry contains flour thick emoticon. )

Therefore I think YABU.

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