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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this constitutes 'harassment'?

21 replies

estuaryfairy · 07/02/2009 21:37

The tenants upstairs chose to respond to my toddler's running around (on a wooden floor) during the day by banging on their floor whenever she did it. I explained, politely, there was no intentional disturbance, and that she is always in her cot by 7.30pm, but short of tying her up, there wasn't much I could do about the noise, but I would make sure she didn't wear shoes in the house etc. Also pointed out that the noise from their flat, stairs, door slamming etc, was probably worse in my flat than the noise from mine to theirs, given that they are above us. Am now being subjected to them deliberately stamping their feet outside my front door (it's a communal hallway) when they come in late from a night out, and the woman (the man seems the more 'reasonable' of the two) continuing to bang on the floor when DD makes a noise in the day when the man is out. This is the second night she's deliberately jumped up and down outside my door at 12.30-1am and, although DD and I will be moving in a couple of months, I don't need this kind of crap when I'm on my own with a 20-month-old. Am considering filing a harassment report with the local police just to get these ignorant tossers to see sense. AIBU?

OP posts:
LittlePeanut · 07/02/2009 21:42

Bloddy hell, what a couple of nasty bastards. Why are people so horrible? Sorry, doesn't answer your question does it. It certainly sounds like harrassment to me - but would you need to prove it somehow?

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 21:43

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Racingsnake · 07/02/2009 21:43

No, it doesn't sound as if you are being unreasonable, but could it stir up even more trouble? If you do want to go ahead, I suspect you will need detailed records of times, dates, etc and maybe even evidence. Don't know what that could be.

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 21:48

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toddlerama · 07/02/2009 21:48

If they're going to hassle you anyway, get your daughter some tap shoes.

ItsallaboutMEMEME · 07/02/2009 21:55

or Rollerskates...

poppy34 · 07/02/2009 21:55

yanbu but is it rented or your own place - if you're looking to sell don't you have to declare if you've made a complaint

and totally sympathise - my ex next door neighbour used to complain about us using our hall light at night..apparently it woke them all up . I'd have happily obliged in not using it if she'd bought me infra red goggles in the style of ross kemp on ultimate force but that was not part of her ranting complaint

Original poster
estuaryfairy · 07/02/2009 21:58

I did think of that toddlerama! Or as one of my friends said, 'Put really loud music on every night and dance around the flat with her' (DD that is, not the nutter upstairs). Thing is, there's no noise from our flat once DD is asleep as I study most nights. I wish I could just think 'f**k them' but I'm on constant edge and it's really getting me down. I hate the thought that my DD can't run around in her own home without Mummy stressing.

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Original poster
estuaryfairy · 07/02/2009 22:08

It's my own place, poppy34, and they are tenants, but I'm not selling, am waiting for the lovely mortgage company to take it off my hands! I just think that when you've tried to be reasonable with people and they continue to act like w***s, it might take more than a polite word.

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beanieb · 07/02/2009 22:10

Poor you, if it were me though I would just wait out the two months. Perhaps they will get bored of being such arseholes if you just refuse to take the bait. It doesn't seem worth reporting it when you know you will be out of there soon.

Original poster
estuaryfairy · 07/02/2009 22:30

Maybe you're right, beanie, I should just grow a thicker skin and let DD stomp freely without worrying about it. Happy about the repossesion though, was forced into bankruptcy last month so any shortfall on the property will go into that, and after a year and a half of struggling, I'm looking forward to moving on with no debts crippling me.

OP posts:
Carbonel · 07/02/2009 22:43

If they are tenants could you talk to the landlord about it? - (s)he may not be very happy if that is the sort of people in his / her property.

It may give you a break for a while - mortgage companies are taking ages about repossessing these days ...

Minxie1977 · 07/02/2009 22:53

YANBU - some people are selfish and joyless. I'd complain to the landlord and write them a letter. Going to the police at this juncture may be a little unreasonable though.

hellymelly · 07/02/2009 23:00

YANBU YANBU! How horrible are they? Have to wonder which flat contains a toddler in fact.Waht sort of grown adult deliberately stamps outside the door of someone with a baby in the small hours? They sound appalling people,appalling I would be grinding my teeth night and day if I were you.

thomsc · 07/02/2009 23:22

Get your little one a trumpet and some drums.

I live below a herd of elephants, well two women in HUGE clumpy shoes. They have their tv blaring all day and night and stomp around and bang doors when they come home drunk.

My DW won't let me talk to them anymore as I get too cross... sigh...

Original poster
estuaryfairy · 07/02/2009 23:29

I might speak to the agent Carbonel, the landlord is the lady who bought her flat just after I did and who hasn't told the TC people that she's moved out to live with her partner and is renting her property (she's still getting her post here, after a year, and still comes to pick it up regularly). Don't think she'd give two hoots about who is in her flat, as long as they colluded in her benefit fraud.
Minxie, you're right about going to the police, was just at the end of my tether about how to deal with people like this. They have come in tonight without stomping, though they are screaming at each other, but that's ok, DD is still asleep and it's the targeting me for their abuse that bothers me, they're welcome to kill each other!

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Original poster
estuaryfairy · 07/02/2009 23:35

Hellymelly, that's exactly what I do! Thomsc, my sympathies, it's a nightmare, isn't it? I spend too many hours lying in bed mentally wreaking revenge on these people, when I should be sleeping xx

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ChippingIn · 08/02/2009 02:53

estuaryfairy - sorry to hear these people are being so bloody stupid intollerant. I second getting DD a pair of tap shoes and let her bang the saucepans with some nice heavy wooden spoons

As you are moving soon (sad situation but I'm pleased it has a positive outcome for you!) I would just try to ignore them and let your little one make normal daytime noise. If they were reasonable and were working nightshift or something I'd have a different opinion, but as they are assholes this petty, let her be a kid

I think the time and stress involved in getting any help on this would not be worth it.

If they wake her up at night bang on their floor with a broom handle!!

MadamDeathstare · 08/02/2009 03:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 08/02/2009 03:28

Perhaps one day they will have children of their own. They will look back at their behaviour and feel utterly ashamed.

Carbonel · 08/02/2009 20:33

Simple then, speak to the owner and tell her you'll shop her for TC fraud unless she sorts it - and once you have moved shop her anyway; what she is doing is wrong

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