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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that keeping something that isn't yours is as good as stealing??

17 replies

shinyshoes · 07/02/2009 13:39

My son lost his phone at school last week, he got a bloody good telling off believe me, he has lost sssoooooooooooo much lately he's driving me mad. Anyway it was handed it and we were very grateful. (have a fiver in an envelope that I still have to get to the boy that handed it in).

Fast forward a couple of days and my cousins son, who are in the same class as eachother has found a phone outside the school. Obviuosly they don't know if the phone belongs to any boy in the school, we are assuming it might.
Anyway his mum has said he can keep it. I'm and that she has allowed him to do this as 1) it isn't his to keep 2) she's not teaching him to do the right thing she is effectively teaching him to steal.

He has just knocked on the door to show me this phone and seemed rather proud. I told him I think he should have handed it in and he looked a bit shcoked. I know i'll have her on the phone later, thats fine i'll tell her too.
If she had found it and decided not to hand it in then that's her lookout, but surely you don't instill these morals onto your children , or do you??

Am I being a bit over dramatic, my son is now thinking it's ok for him to play 'finders keepers'.

She also has another son that stole from a store a couple of weeks ago for a dare.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 07/02/2009 13:42

she should have told him to hand it in. its easy to find who owns a mobile you just ring the number stored as home on it - no excuse.

spoiltforchoice · 07/02/2009 13:42

I should keep my children at a very healthy distance from hers, if I were you.

Malakai · 07/02/2009 13:45

He needs to hand the phone in at school.
There is no excuse for him to keep it.

Did the mother condone the stealing for a dare?

If so, what an odd parenting style she has.

If any of my children stole, and I knew about it, I'd march them back into the store.

WelshJellyBelly · 07/02/2009 13:50

Yanbu my son knows that if he finds something in the school yard or nr the school to hand it in to the school office as he knows how it feels to lose something and not have it given back (he lost his fave cap last summer while playing football he put it down becausehe was sweating went off playing and when he returned it was gone)

Your cousin is being very unresponible by telling her son he could keep it without trying to find the real owner first and if your son now thinks its ok to play finders keepers then ask him how he would of felt last week if someone hadnt handed his mobile in and had kept it for themselves.

Your cousin obviously isnt teaching her children morals and one day it wont be shops or other people they steal from it could very well be from her purse next.

cheshirekitty · 07/02/2009 14:46

Firstly, good for the boy who found your sons mobile and did the right thing. His parents should be proud of him.

On the other hand, your cousin should be ashamed of herself that she let her ds keep the found mobile.

YANBU.

Twims · 07/02/2009 14:51

Can you not contact the school yourself and say that it might be worth holding a chat about theft etc as you think that a pupil may have found and kept something of another pupils.

herbietea · 07/02/2009 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

memoo · 07/02/2009 16:28

YANBU at all, you cousin is unreal!! think twims idea is good

diedandgonetodevon · 07/02/2009 16:40

YANBU. That's a shocking thing to encourage a child to do tbh There is probably some poor kid out there that got the same telling off your son did for losing it but sadly won't be getting their phone back.

Another vote here for Twims idea!

Disenchanted3 · 07/02/2009 16:43

My sister found an Ipod touch the other day then say a panicky woman, she went over and asked if she had lost anything and handed it over.

The rest of my family had a go at her for not keeping it

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 07/02/2009 16:45

No, you are not being unreasonable. It's wrong. Amazes me how dishonest most people are. They might not go out and rob a bank, but if they can get away with sneaking or pocketing something, they will.

Bloody depressing, tbh.

Flightattendant12 · 07/02/2009 16:53

It might not have occurred to her that there's another way to look at it iyswim. So good for you if you tell her there are better options.

Anyway surely the phone will be reported lost and probably be blocked...

mm22bys · 07/02/2009 17:06

YANBU.

You do your best to find out who the rightful owner is.

After that point, you can only do so much....

wheesht · 07/02/2009 17:19

I feel very sad for your cousin's son. What lesson is she teaching him here? YA most certainly NBU.

LucyEllensmummy · 07/02/2009 17:24

YANBU - she sounds like a charmer!

Jux · 07/02/2009 17:59

You are right, she is wrong.

mumeeee · 07/02/2009 23:37

YANBU. Your cousin should have told her DS to hand it in.

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