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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not go to my mums this weekend?

23 replies

dilemma456 · 06/02/2009 17:47

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

quint · 06/02/2009 17:50

YANBU your mum and sister are. Stick to your guns. You can apologise and say I know we're very disappointed but its just not practical is it, You wouldn't want dd TO BE scared, cold, wet would you?

Buda · 06/02/2009 17:51

Well I can understand she is disappointed but can't believe she would want you to do that journey with a 3 years. YANBU!

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 06/02/2009 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bellavita · 06/02/2009 18:02

She is being rather selfish if she expects you to make the journey under those circumstances.

To keep on ringing you is out of order and emotional blackmail.

PestoBlizzardMonster · 06/02/2009 18:04

Gosh, she must be mad to expect you to still come and make that journey in the current weather situation.

YANBU, you are being very sensible. Don't succumb to emotional blackmail. I can't believe that both your mum & sister would want you to put you and your DD in that situation

hifi · 06/02/2009 18:05

yanbu, its too dangerous.

ssd · 06/02/2009 18:09

your mum must be crazy if she expects you to do this with your dd, can't understand your sis backing her up, what are they on?

Original poster

dilemma456 · 06/02/2009 18:18

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Lulumama · 06/02/2009 18:21

do your siblings have children> do they really understand?

if your mum can;t get through the snow, why would a taxi be able to?

say you will rearrange, surely if there is a severe weather warnng, the advice is not to go on non essential journeys

ask your mum how she would feel if you or DD got hurt in an accident or got hypothermia ?

ssd · 06/02/2009 18:24

op, I feel for you, your family sound slightly mad

sleepyeyes · 06/02/2009 18:25

Does your brother or sister drive? If so tell them you will reconsider if they come and pick you up and take you door to door. If they feel thats too inconvenient then point out to them how much more inconvenient it is for you.

If they put on the 'poor lonely mum' guilt trip insist they visit her then.

Dont be bullied by them, YARNBU!

tiredsville · 06/02/2009 18:38

YANBU, no parent should use emotional blackmail on their child.
It also wouldn't be fair on your 3 year old.

FourArms · 06/02/2009 18:43

It's now nearly 7pm, obviously you cannot now make this journey today. Perhaps say you will reconsider tomorrow once you have seen the weather forecast. Perhaps you could stress that you must be back for work on Monday and that they wouldn't look kindly if you got snowed in at your mums having chosen to go there knowing what the conditions were like there.

Northernlurker · 06/02/2009 18:46

YANBU - your mother sounds deranged! Why on earth would you take your child on a length and unpredictable journey all to be greet with a long wet and cold walk and NO ELECTRICITY when you get there. She should get on a train and come to you - anything else is madness. DO NOT feel guilty - feel warm, dry and secure!

constancereader · 06/02/2009 18:50

Just point out to your siblings that it is OUTRAGOUS to suggest putting your dd in such an unpleasant and possibly dangerous situation. How dare they phone you up and demand you do that!

Original poster

dilemma456 · 06/02/2009 18:55

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Northernlurker · 06/02/2009 18:57

Oh good - she was being ridiculous but I guess she was very disappointed and that makes all of us a bit crazy! Hope she's warm enough this weekend - is her heating gas?

laweaselmys · 06/02/2009 19:34

good! I was very worried about you and the unreasonable requests then!

If it makes you feel better DP and I have cancelled plans to travel west this evening to his mum's because we were too nervous about attempting the five hour journey on public transport twice in one weekend. Which is not nearly as bad as what you were being asked to do!

mamas12 · 06/02/2009 22:35

But sleepyeyes questions are good questions Where do brother and sister live why aren't they doing anything?
Your mum also thought about making that juorney agin herself didn't hse. Well done you for thinking clearly. She has had a time of it she should come to you weather permitting

queenofbeas · 06/02/2009 22:59

YANBU at all. Your mum is being very selfish.

butterscotch · 06/02/2009 23:04

YANBU I was supposed to visit my mum 3hrs away in Swindon but last two days they have had heavy snow my mum told me not to come as its too dangerous...and it was her bday the other weekend (she was away) nad we haven't seen her since xmas but we talk on sykpe every week, we were all disappointed but safety first and all....

ThumbLoveWitch · 06/02/2009 23:08

oh lord, YAsoNBU. If your mum is that desperate to see you AND she has no electricity, why wouldn't she come and visit you? mental.

Have read a bit further now - glad she has come to her senses! But amazed it took her so long. Give your sister a kick in the teeth next time you see her - does she have DC of her own?

ChippingIn · 07/02/2009 00:55

YW(were)NBU

The rest of your family def were. Are they normally like this??

I would have told my brother (don't have a sister!) that he was more than welcome to drive my mother over for the weekend and back again. If he wasn't prepared to do that, then to STFU mind his own business.

I know your Mum has now said to go next weekend and I know she was looking forward to seeing you both, but FGS, I cannot believe she would suggest you do that alone let alone with a little one.... They all need telling!

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