to wish that I never had kids..................

8 replies

Muststopshouting · 04/02/2009 20:37

sometimes - usually glad that I did when they are at school or asleep.

Absolutely adore my 3 kids (aged between 7 & 12)but quite often don't like them . I have tried hard to be a good responsible parent (as has DH) and I can't believe how they have turned out - completely blanking me when I am talking, arguing, refusing point blank to do what they are told, back chat, fighting, not doing anything for themselves without me shouting at them and generally having no respect or indeed empathy for me at all. They embarrass me when we go out with their antics. When I pick them up from school or after school club they just ignore me. I have turned into the the thing I most dreaded being.... a shouty, miserable mum who sometime smacks .

My life seems to revolve about thinking what they would like and what they will enjoy and then when we do stuff I end up not enjoying it because of the stress. I really don't know where I've gone wrong!!

Had a hard evening and just got to thinking, 'why did I bother cos I really never expected it to be this hard and thankless'. AIBU?

(No offence to those TTC of course).

OP posts:

raff · 04/02/2009 20:46

you sound completely normal to me. When I feel like this I need to do something as 'off duty' mum like run around sreaming with them or saying yes to ice cream for breakfast....or run after them when they slam the door and tell you they're leaving, yelling "wait for me.I'm coming too!"

DunderMifflin · 04/02/2009 20:56

I agree with raff's suggestion - it can be really easy to fall into the bossy mum role so sometimes I just mess with their heads and do the opposite of what they expect. It makes it more chilled for everyone and you remember what's nice about them!

My kids haven't started with the hormones bit yet but it sounds to me as if you're being completely honest - we all get pissed off with the general drudge of being a mum and when the little darlings are being complete PITA's this makes everyone wonder what the point of it all is.

Original poster

Muststopshouting · 04/02/2009 20:58

Thank god for that Raff. It's not something I would say to anybody in RL so was wondering if I was completely abnormal!! I would never wish them away but I do sometimes wish they would go away and leave me alone .

OP posts:

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/02/2009 21:05

Ohhhhhhh have you been in my house today???

DS1 did all the things you mentioned and I ended up posting on here that I was about to explode at him.

Actually i didn't I just did something really mean when he started crying as I had told him no he would not be playing the ps3 and i mean really crying...i said oh come on Karleen stop the tears now..

ok that was mean....but it stopped him crying long enough to see the funny side of it....ooppss

Popple · 04/02/2009 21:07

That's so sad. You sound really unhappy.

Mine are 8 & 5 yrs old and I can't imagine ever feeling how you do right now. Maybe this will change as they get older but I really hope not. Saying that, I waver between total outrage and pee-my-pants laughing when my 8 year old rolls her eyes at me. Cheeky wotsit. I'm sure much harder years are to come.

Have you always felt like this? Do you get any time with them individually? Or any time away from them all? Do you have supportive friends/grandparents nearby to give you a weekend/week away?

SmileyMylee · 04/02/2009 21:50

I know exactly what you mean. I have 3 DC, 8,6,3. Sometimes I despair of them. I really try with them, but sometimes I find it really gets me down.

It helps when I remember that they are only young and they are learning to be the kind, considerate, responsible people that they will be, but the way they act sometimes, they seem to have no respect for anyone.

When it's really bad I look at them sleeping and they are little angels again. But sometimes I really do not know where I am going wrong. They know how they should behave and they just won't do it. They don't even seem to care about the consequences of their behaviour or losing out on any treats that we promise for good behaviour.

I love them dearly but sometimes I don't think I have the energy or aptitude for this.

accordiongirl · 08/02/2009 21:47

you are a harassed mother. nothing you feel is strange or abnormal. give yourself a break. it's all much much harder than any of us ever imagined, if we're honest. i think that ice cream for breakfast will sort you out (nice suggestion btw!). hope that something goes smoothly and you feel better soon.

lovelymumma · 08/02/2009 22:08

you r a mum of 3 just like me.Mine r 6,8 and coming up to 10.I just think there r more opportunities for them to argue with 3 and more of them to get on your nerves.I've found since I've had 3,relatives r not so enthusiastic to take them off my hands.My mum has said she only has room for 2 of them to stay over night;when we all know kids will sleep anywhere on a sleep over.The children bicker loads; I think its because they r close in age,and so always want what each other has .There is a lot of rivalry.I never new it would be this hard,so I sympathise.

Flip