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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to choose a holoiday for dd, dh and i not my parents?

26 replies

hifi · 02/02/2009 16:03

we want to take my parents on holiday this year.

my sister let it slip to my mum and then mum phoned to drop hints as to where she would like to go, spain all inclusive.

luckily dh is very busy and the holiday we will take them on will be the only one till xmas so hes not bothered how much it will cost.

i have to find a 5* ai, with golf and kids club and a promenade for parents to walk down evey evening and not too posh. to find a good standard ai is practically impossible. i think you get better standards with food with half board.

so i am going to phone them later to say we are going half board to a reasonably nice hotel not an ai.they can come or not, am i being fair?

OP posts:
fuckerForMyValentine · 02/02/2009 16:06

fuck your parents, can I come ?

Dropdeadfred · 02/02/2009 16:06

if it's a free holiday for them of course it's fair!

in fact i think your mum is a bit cheeky to be dropping hints!!

Ivykaty44 · 02/02/2009 16:08

hifi - take yourselves somewhere where you want to go and then tell your parents they can come aswell and you will pay if they would like to join you.

Goodness some people.....

Original poster
hifi · 02/02/2009 16:11

lol at ffmv.
thanks, i called my sister again this afternoon and said i couldnt please everyone and she seemed to think i was being unreasonable. parents are a bit frugal but we will pay for everything.
my mum even specified a hotel she had been to before the cheeky bugger.

OP posts:
bangandthedirtisgone · 02/02/2009 16:12

Maybe they want all inclusive so it won't cost them a bead? Otherwise they will have to split the bill in restaurants won't they?

bangandthedirtisgone · 02/02/2009 16:13

A bean.

Original poster
hifi · 02/02/2009 16:18

we will pay for everything, carparking, flights, room bill.knowing how tight they are i will provide their toiletries aswell.

my mum is one of thoise who takes provisions from breakfast to make her lunch

OP posts:
rookiemater · 02/02/2009 16:55

Gosh you sound like a saint for taking them with you. Are you sure you want to do this ?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 02/02/2009 17:00

How bizarre! If your Mum has been to the hotel before then they must be able to afford it, in which case how rude to specify when you've offered to pay!

You will provide their toiletries?? Surely if they are too tight fisted to take their own shampoo that's their problem?

Sorry I'm mystified by this. Have you paid for them to come with you before and set a precedent? Also, what's it to do with your sister - is she offering to pay a share for them?

lovelysongbirdie · 02/02/2009 17:05

hifi i wouldn't bother taking them.

Original poster
hifi · 02/02/2009 17:10

there does seem to be a lot of stipulations. its my eat or the highway i think.

have been on hols every year with them, havent always paid, they never take any toiletries.
my dad has skin cancer and they still dont take sun cream
sister isnt contributing but all my family seem to speak for each other. heyy ho, try to do your best.

OP posts:
Surfermum · 02/02/2009 17:14

I think that's really generous of you.

If I were organising something like this I'd aim to find somewhere that had something for all of us.

What would they be like if they were somewhere they weren't happy about? If they're the sort to think we're not paying so we shall just be grateful then all well and good, but if they might cause an atmosphere while you are away I wouldn't want that to spoil my only holiday of the year. Nor would I want to compromise and go somewhere I wasn't happy with.

Can't you try and find a compromise?

Original poster
hifi · 02/02/2009 17:19

i have tried all day sun and half of sat to find something for everyone.
i did find somewhere but it was 95km from airport and mum hates the way dh drives

OP posts:
KristinaM · 02/02/2009 17:23

hifi - you are a saint

Original poster
hifi · 02/02/2009 17:24

i know
more of a mug i think.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 02/02/2009 17:31

and why would someone who has had skin cancer not take sun cream? if you don't take toiletries for them woudl they buy them at the hotel?

i think they sound quite bonkers TBH

Original poster
hifi · 02/02/2009 18:50

they are a bit. they would NEVER buy at the hotel.my dad puts dd factor 50 kids on if i force him.

come to think about it they are crackers.

OP posts:
cheshirekitty · 02/02/2009 19:00

Take dh and dd to disney florida instead. Leave parents at home.

bergentulip · 02/02/2009 19:10

Is this for real? Can't quite work out how this op can be a real problem..... in real life.... with real people....

It just really does not sound like a problem at all. Sun, relaxation, 5* hotels, company, ...... (!!!!)

Is there a bigger issue with the parents? Are we to assume that they are a nightmare to go on holiday with, in which case why are you offering to take them?

bergentulip · 02/02/2009 19:10

(not suggesting troll by the way, I just fail to understand the scale of the problem)

KristinaM · 02/02/2009 20:11

I think hifi is just pissed off coz they are being so unreasonable and she wants to vent. which is what MN is for

she is definitely not a troll BTW, even though her parents are nuts IMHO

Original poster
hifi · 03/02/2009 13:15

its not on a huge scale bergen, but is anything on aibu?
i just wanted opinions, sorry to bother you.

OP posts:
bergentulip · 03/02/2009 14:27

You are of course right. AIBU is not huge scale, and I was probably just feeling a bit sorry for myself because I'd been looking at holidays recently too..... and it all sounded rather lovely, but depressingly out of reach. Projecting my own dissatisfaction onto you. Touch of the green eyed monster perhaps, as last year I might have been planning something similar.

I'll say again, was not suggesting troll, should not have even used the nasty 't' word....

I am sure you'll work out a happy medium, and if your parents really are that nuts and likely to pull a wobbly, well, best leave 'em behind!!!

Enjoy your holiday, it sounds great.

Iklboo · 03/02/2009 14:34

When I was small my dad's parents came away with us. It was a nightmare from start to finish. They never stopped moaning:

It's too hot (yes, it's Spain)
I can't get the Sun (newspaper) in the morning (no, it's Spain)
Why don't they give us chips (it's Spain)
They had creme caramel yesterday and we got fruit. It's not fair (they brought their own creme caramel)
It's too far to walk to the cafe (about 50 yards)
I don't like spaghetti

It was the worst holiday we've ever ever been on

Wizzska · 03/02/2009 16:52

Iklboo, that sounds awful.

OP, you are being perfectly reasonable, if they say otherwise they are behaving like spoilt children. Why is it always this snidey moaning with families, never normal adult discussions... sigh. You hear about it all the time wiht Mumsnet, all families seem to suffer from it. (My family is not immune).

By the way, if the hotel they want to go to doesn't have a kids club, then it is perfectly reasonable for you to make them babysit IMO.