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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to give DS a dummy even though it could save his life? (new research out)

34 replies

lowrib · 02/02/2009 14:47

I just came across new advice from the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths which says to give your baby a dummy from 1 month old to one year, to reduce the risk of cot death.

They say "A number of research studies have been published in the last few years suggesting that babies who are regularly given a dummy when put down to sleep are less likely to die suddenly and unexpectedly than those who are not... the risk of SIDS for infants who had used a dummy for the last or reference sleep was less than half that for those who had not". link here

I've always hated dummies. I would hate to see my son with one in his mouth. But perhaps this is just a hangover from my mother's own hatred of dummies taught to me when young? Or am I being a snob perhaps?!

I have just spent 2 days agonising over whether I need a new mattress for a travel cot. So why haven't a rushed out and bought a dummy now I've read this?

This does seem to be backed up by science, so we should all just go buy one, right?

OP posts:

Olifin · 02/02/2009 15:00

Hmmmmm...wouldn't say you were being unreasonable, but your attitude to dummies is maybe a bit unfounded (and, yes, snobby!).

Our daughter had a dummy. She liked it a lot and it helped us all to sleep better in those early weeks and months. She kept on with it till she was three but only for night times and naps. I, too, don't like seeing older babies/children walking around with a dummy in the mouth when there's no reason for it to be there.

Our son doesn't have one. We offered it when he was tiny but he didn't like it so I'm not going to force the issue!

I don't think it's a big deal. Use on if you want, not if you don't want. But don't worry about what other people think of it.

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 15:02

actually, I believe some similar studies have shown that the same outcoem is achieved if the child falls asleep with nipple in its mouth.,

i mean, it isn't like the actual dummy itself has some kind of magical property is it? so it shouldn'tmatter if it's dummy or boob?

will see if i can find anything to back that up though

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 15:05

an interesting thread, though not technically talking about dummy usage

Original poster

lowrib · 02/02/2009 15:11

"thisisyesterday" I'd be really interested to see that research.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 15:12

and apparently original research shoesd thast babies who were given a dummy and then had it taken away were actually at higher risk of cot death

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 15:13

i think that the main argument is that the advice fsids and hmmm MAM give is that you should let the baby fall asleep with the dummy in, but NOT replace it during the night.

now, given that a dummy is a plastic replica of a nipple then it stands to reason that falling asleep on the breast would have the exact same effect.

beforesunrise · 02/02/2009 15:14

apart from the research, do you think your baby would benefit from a dummy? can you try?

personally i have spent weeks trying to get dd2 to take one as i am sure it would have helped her relax and sleep better, babies need to suck a lot and with a toddler as well I just couldn't have her on the breast full time, I just don't get what all the fuss about dummies is- if it helps the baby and the parents, what is wrong with them???

I remember a thread a while back "do posh people give dummies?" it had me ! I never realised dummies were a class issue, but then, I suppose in Britain everything is a class issue (I am not British by the way)

PoloPlayingMummy · 02/02/2009 15:25

No. YANBU. Hate, hate, hate dummies. Can't really see the point of them myself. I certainly was never given one.

Nothing worse than seeing a toddler walking around with a dummy their parents haven't been able to remove from them.

mersmam · 02/02/2009 15:28

Lowrib - YANBU - I understand your dummy hatred! I really didn't want my dd1 to have one (even more so when my MIL brought some round when she was a day old )
However I did give her one after or month or so and never regretted it!
A baby does not have to have the dummy all the time - you can just resrict it to bedtimes when he will not be seen by the general public
I'm expecting my 4th baby now and we'll be trying as hard as possible for him/her to have a dummy (2 of the others had them but ds refused point blank - not for want of us trying) - they do make life much easier and the SIDS thing definitely swung everything in there favour for me...
As for babies falling asleep with your nipple in their mouth being as good as a dummy - very true - but do you really want your baby only to get to sleep when your nipple is in his mouth? We could be talking for the next year or more here...

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 15:30

actually ds2 did have a dummy, but wouldn't use it to get to sleep. i was happy to breastfeed him to sleep uintil he was well over a year, he has on;ly just stopped now I am pregnant again.

scarletlilybug · 02/02/2009 15:33

Thisisyesterday - I also seem to recall that the stuy was based on babies who normally had a dummy appeared to be at a greater risk of SIDS if they did not sleep with a dummy. It wasn't clear (to me) whether this apparent increased risk would also apply to babies who had never had a dummy.

Interesting that they didn't include advice to breastfeed in their list of tips to reduce the risk of SIDS. Wonder why not?

mersmam · 02/02/2009 15:33

PoloPlaying - the point of dummies is they calm babies down immediately without them having to use you as a human dummy every time they are upset!
I agree it's horrible seeing toddlers walking around with them though. We restricted ours to nightimes by about six months and they were off them completely by their second birthday. Dd2 (who used her dummy the most) has always had speach about two years ahead of other children her age [proud mother emoticon]

Original poster

lowrib · 02/02/2009 15:34

beforesunrise No, apart from the research i have no other reason to give a dummy - I've been very lucky, my DS settles really well, and is a pretty contented baby so far, and I have no other children or major demands on my time right now, so I can feed on demand.

I didn't realise dummies were a class issue either until someone posed the question at our ante-natal class. I'm afraid like practically everything else in this country it would seem they are!

thisisyesterday don't all babies fall asleep on the nipple? (Sorry I am new to this game!)

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 15:35

ooh scarletlily, they did release a statement though, about breastfeeding lowering the risk.
which is something, i suppose!

lowrib, to start with most do, but plenty of parents seem very keen to teach babies not to by the time they're a couple of months old.

Original poster

lowrib · 02/02/2009 15:38

"do you really want your baby only to get to sleep when your nipple is in his mouth? We could be talking for the next year or more here"

Oh I see, I hadn't thought of that.

OP posts:

mersmam · 02/02/2009 15:39

Lowrib - if you have no other reason other than this article to give your baby a dummy and you are perfectly content with him falling asleep while feeding I see no need to give him one - although you might want to think about it later on if the only way he will fall asleep is by feeding (you obviously don't want him doing that forever!) You might find he starts sucking his own fingers to calm himself down if he needs to (that's what my ds did), and I'm sure that must have the same effect SIDSwise as a dummy.

PoloPlayingMummy · 02/02/2009 15:39

Mersmam- but that's my job as his mummy. I comfort him quickly without feeling like i'm silencing him artificially.
(but i suppose maybe if he was an unsettled child i might feel differently...)

giveusabreak · 02/02/2009 15:43

I don't like dummies, cruddy things which get covered in fluff and are easily lost, soem babies will only take one type so you waste ££ looking for the "right one" (used them with DC1). I am not posh, I am skint and probably remain so. Dummies do seem to have a beneficial effect on lowering SIDS rates but far more beneficial are breastfeeding, keeping the baby in your room and not smoking. Since most babies in the UK are bottlefed, seem to be in their rooms before the FSID timescale of 6 months and there is still quite a lot of smoking then yes, dummies might be better than nothing. But looking at it a bit more creatively wouldn't it make more sense to help people to breastfeed, stop making parents feel that their babies should be "independent" at 8 weeks old and do more to help parents to stop smoking round their kids? Just my two happorth.

iamaLeafontheWind · 02/02/2009 15:43

So by feeding my daughter to sleep I'm not being lazy and creating a rod for my own back - I was actually lowering her SIDS risk?! Fuckin' fantastic!!! (Sorry for swearing, just v happy).

mersmam · 02/02/2009 15:44

That's true Poloplayingmummy - but sometimes I've found that my babies aren't hungry they just want the comfort of something to suck (the sucking reflex is all they can control at first) - and given that I seem to be feeding them around 75% of the time at first anyway, I'd personally rather use that 'dummy time' to have a bit of a rest or spend time with my other children.
You're right though - if you have a baby that settles quickly without needing to suck on something for an hour there is no need for them!

mersmam · 02/02/2009 15:45

BTW - there was also some research around 4 years ago (when my first baby was tiny) that showed dummy suckers were LESS likely to smoke as adults - weird hey??

stuffitllama · 02/02/2009 15:45

Dummies are great.
Trying taking a thumb away, then you've got problems.

giveusabreak · 02/02/2009 15:47

BTW - the comment about spending a year getting the baby to sleep only by being on the nipple is just not true.

DD2 is an unsettled child still and very "booby" but it is DH who can settle her in the evenings and during the night unless she actually is hungry. And I can promise you he does not use his nipples to calm her down

mersmam · 02/02/2009 15:49

giveusabreak - yes my dh could always settle my babies more easily than me - because they knew he did not have the feeding power!
You can always settle babies down eventually without using a nipple or dummy - it just might take two hours as opposed to two minutes that's all!

Oblomov · 02/02/2009 15:57

I hate dummies too. Especially in older toddlers. But ds2 has one. He certainly has had hid fair share of problems bless him and still sceams inconsolably now. Recommended to us by the Paed that we took him to aswell.
Needs must.

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