to be feeling like this, or please don't tell me this is marriage

[smileymumma]

This will sound horrendous,I will probably be told to leav or something(It isn't that bad)but why is it that I have spent allof last week sorting out my husband's paperwork so that he doesn't feel stressed ,all of this week helping him with his out of house hobby and all weekend watching him doing his hobby.I have been stuck in the house for 4 days solid (with 2 ill children) havenm't seen anybody and am feeling lonely isolated fed up and teary and when finally the 3 children go to bed he plays his computer and basically sits there and says nothing!We are quite different personalities which is what brought us togeher and has made us have 7 good years together but at the minute I can't help but feel he is having a mid life crisis at 33 but then so am I it's just I can't get out as I am left holding the baby whilst he gets some fee time and unwinds.I wouldnt mind but I managed to confess a few weeks ago that I think Ihad had PND and was just beginning to feel better so on that note he starts to dump loads of pressure on me, which has again started to make me feel like shit-I am resenting him having a life, all he does is hang around with his teenag work colleagues and I am starting toi feel he is having a bit of an ego issue.Please advise what to do we have 3 children under 5 and my family are nowhere nearby.I feel lonely and sad.

Just tell him that as you watched him do his hobby last weekend this weekend you are going to go out and(insert something you like doing, used to like doing or think you would like doing).

Then at the appointed time go and do it.

have just booked to have meal not this weekend but next as he is already out this coming weekend and I think I may bugger off to visit my brother.I don't want it to be tit for tat though but you are right I don't seem to just do it I just sit and complain! I just feel so exhausted most of the time.I find it strange how I can live in the same house as him and miss him so much.

It's not tit for tat - it's taking turns. Set an example to your 3 children and take turns.

thanks have had a moan at him and arranged 3 things to do in the next few weeks, he doesn't seem to mind at all.God when does it start to get a bit easier?? I feel so like everyone is dependent on me yet I don't really have anyone to lean on.....yes you are right about the computers too we always have something on.Will try meal with no TV for valentines-.....anyone got any good recipies????

Oh and I like the setting an example to the children I don't want my son to do the same to his future wife/partner!

Can you find a hobby that you can do for self even if just one night a week? I go to aerobics class every Monday for an hour (and sometimes on a Wed) just to be out of the house, but also getting me fit and is good mood uplifter.
You have every right feel resentful of his free time. I have felt this many many times since DS born, he now 21 months.
Talk to DH, tell him how you feel, explain that you do not begrudge doing anything for him or your 3 children, but that as well as being someone's wife and mother, you are also YOU!! Everybody in the world needs time to themself, even if it is just an hour or 2 each week.
Good recipes on Nigella Lawson website, I use hers a lot.
Don't wait til Valentines day, put the kids in bed tonight, turn the TV off and do something together. Even if you play computer with him? Then he can do something you enjoy next time. It's very hard finding time for each other, and I only have the 1 child. I think we all find this, but you must try, and more importantly HE must x

If you can't beat them, join them? It sounds like he trusts you completely with his hobby & paperwork, that sounds like a v positive aspect of any relationship. Why not take it a bit further & join him? There are loads of women who play online games who started because of their blokes, and then found that it's even more addictive than Mumsnet.