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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think a baby shower is a crap idea!!

8 replies

debs40 · 31/01/2009 15:01

One of my closest friends is eight months pregnant.

She is starting to struggle a bit (back etc) and, as it's her second, she is well aware of what lays ahead.

I spent three hours with her yesterday and she is just wanting to get this over with. She is sick of people patting her tummy and calling her 'fatty' and giggling about whether 'she's still with us' etc as she does the school run.

She had a miscarriage before this pregnancy and is a very sensitive woman anyway so she is finding this tough

Another friend of hers has organised a surprise baby shower for her at very short notice. I don't know this woman very well but my friend has had problems with her being very interfering and overpowering etc who always needs to be the centre of attention.

I just think the baby shower is not my friend's cup of tea at all and that this other woman is trying to make herself the centre of attention. My friend is not good in groups and people turning up with breast pads and sanitary towels 'for a joke' sounds dreadful.

In truth, I think these 'baby showers' are crap pointless things anyway but I'm trying to put my feelings to one side!

I feel my friend is vulnerable at the moment and in need of support.

Should I warn her about this plan so she can mentally prepare? This sounds terribly high handed I know but I feel I'm letting her down if I don't.

AIBU thinking about doing this? Should I just butT out?

OP posts:
TheThoughtPolice · 31/01/2009 15:03

Baby showers are an american custom which just doesn't translate well over here I think. Us Brits are just too cynical

mrsmaidamess · 31/01/2009 15:03

Yes, tell her, but get her to practice her 'surprised' face.

Sounds like the shower is more for her friend than for her.

themildmanneredjanitor · 31/01/2009 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinseltot · 31/01/2009 15:05

Well, if you are sure that your friend would be mortified/uncomfortable with the party/fuss then yes, i would tell her about it. That way she can either get her head around the situation in advance or she can fake some illness/reason to avoid going.....

StarlightMcKenzie · 31/01/2009 15:05

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Message withdrawn

shootfromthehip · 31/01/2009 15:08

Not really my idea of funeither but my Mum organised one for me with DC1 and it was ok. Didn't have one for DC2 as it wasn't really worth the bother and I felt embarrassed by people having to buy me 2 lots of presents!

Try and persuade her not to if you think she won't enjoy it.

sorrento · 31/01/2009 15:31

Hmmm I would make a face at the first sign of Breast Pads that suggests there had better not be anything else about to be presented along those lines.
I do think showers are nice, I've never had one but would have loved an afternoon with my girlies chatting before the onslaught of motherhood.

debs40 · 31/01/2009 15:43

Apparently her husband knows about it.So I think I had better not say anything? I'm working and can't go which is why I was thinking of warning her!

I don't know what is planned as I don't know the woman organising it in any way. My friend always keeps her friendhips distinct

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