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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with dp?

20 replies

ilovetochat · 29/01/2009 20:39

I am so pissed off at the moment that i have lost all sense of rationality if thats a word so i'm not sure if iabu.
i'm playing downstairs with dd while dp comes up to prepare her bath. i bring dd up 10 mins later and tap is running slowly, no bathmat, no towels, no nappy, no toothbrush and paste. i said to dp i thought you were doing the bath, he said he was but hadn't finished.
so i get everything ready and sort bath temp while dp gets dd undressed. he is very engrossed in ebay music thing. so when i go in he had undressed dd who is standing my the bed, he is on computer, i tell him to hurry up, he moans.
dd wees on the carpet and i'm by the door, i said dd is weeing, he carrys on typing, so i rush over and try and sit her on the potty quickly saying again, you can't just carry on typing when she is weeing on the floor.
then i get cloth and wipe up. dd says cuddle and i give her a cuddle. i ask her if she needs to do more wee and she says no, cuddle, so i cuddle her again.
dp gets up all huffy and said, see you have upset dd shouting about weeing on the floor and now she is asking for cuddles cos you have shouted!
i told him to shut up and put her in the bath and he said he is sick of my attitude.
aibu?

OP posts:
cheshirekitty · 29/01/2009 20:41

YANBU. Just typical male behaviour.

mazzystartled · 29/01/2009 20:41

I think you should have left him to it, rather than intervening.

PuppyMonkey · 29/01/2009 20:42

I think you both need a massive glass of wine and good shag!

MarlaSinger · 29/01/2009 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 29/01/2009 20:43

I agree - he was doing it. Leave him to it - and let HIM deal with any consequences. Next time, stay downstairs and open a bottle of wine.

Original poster
ilovetochat · 29/01/2009 20:43

maybe youre right mazzy, i do everything to try and hurry him along as everything he does is snail paced. surely once you take a babys nappy off you either get them in the bath or on the potty. also its not that warm and she could get cold standing there naked while he faffs about.

OP posts:
mazzystartled · 29/01/2009 20:43

You let him off doing it by doing it for him.

tumtumtetum · 29/01/2009 20:43

On the face of it YANBU.

My DH is a bit like this.

But if you had totally left him to it he would have had to get it together and give her the bath, mop the wee up himself etc.

My DH does things a lot more slowly than i do and I have to bite my tongue - if he is doing it i should let him do it and not interfere.

Maybe leave them to it next time...

alarkaspree · 29/01/2009 20:44

What mazzy said. He was doing bath time but you came up and took over basically, giving him license to carry on doing ebay thing. If you had brought dd up, said 'here you are' and gone away again, he'd have had to get on with it.

tumtumtetum · 29/01/2009 20:44

Bloody hell you lot type quickly!

Geepers · 29/01/2009 20:45

Sounds like me when I get a bit too engrossed with MN my work.

Original poster
ilovetochat · 29/01/2009 20:45

i didn't come upstairs to interfere, i came up to MN .
when i leave him to it i come up after to have a bath and the towels are in the bathroom on the change mat next to the dirty nappy and pile of clothes. he says he is concentrating on dd. i concentrate on her all day but don't leave a trail of mass destruction.

OP posts:
megmums · 29/01/2009 20:47

What does MN mean? I don't think you are unreasonable, my Dh is slow too...sometimes it is easier to do things yourself.

tumtumtetum · 29/01/2009 20:48

Well that's normal too.

Either you do it all yourself or you point out the mass destruction and ask him to clear it up.

Neither solutions ideal.

I was about to say that we obviously have such high standards that it's no surprise OHs can't live up to them. Unfortunately I know in my case standards are very low and he still fails to meet them

PlumBumMum · 29/01/2009 20:48

Yeap def leave him to it, and better staying away, I used to hover and it drove me nuts when he was doing things too slow or not the way I do them cause my way is the right way
Now I just sit back and relax and let him work away

Puppymonkey right good shag clear the air

tumtumtetum · 29/01/2009 20:50

megmums MN = mumsnet.

You must be new welcome

mazzystartled · 29/01/2009 20:51

Dh does that too. It's v annoying. I do how to listen so kids will talk and talk so kids will listen on him. It works quite well. He's 37.

megmums · 29/01/2009 20:51

I am, thanks, am just getting used to all of the abbreviations! Wish I had joined a year ago when my daughter was a newborn!

tumtumtetum · 29/01/2009 20:54

There is an acronym list at the top with all the common abbreviations in which helped me when I was new

Have fun!

Original poster
ilovetochat · 29/01/2009 21:45

have to look at that mazzy, how to listen so kids will talk and talk so kids will listen, what's that about?
Hi Megsmums
i've had a nice bath now and calmed down while dp put dd to bed. (towels are on floor, i will not interfere)
off for wine now, not sure about the shag, new pill has made my period come a week early and got cramps but wine will help!
{trying best to ignore towels which are calling to me}

OP posts:
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