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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised at my being referred to as posh at a parenting course!

12 replies

LucyEllensmummy · 28/01/2009 17:19

I am attending a parenting course at our local primary school. I just noticed a poster phoned the number and went along.

Great mix of mums there half in their 20s half in their 30s like me. Second week this week and we had to split into two groups. A new woman started today who seemed to know a couple of the younger mums, although she was older. She was quite loud (in a good way), seemed confident and funny (had 7 children so thought perhaps we might have lots to learn from her). When the groups were randomly decided it turned out that this particular group of mums were together and we all laughed at how it turned out. This woman then piped up - oh, thats good girls im glad im with you and not that posh lot - referring to me and two other older mums, us XYZ estate girls have to stick together, up the XYZ estate! .

I laughed it off but was quite offended as it goes. Firstly, i am anything but posh, come from a very working class background and my family might even be considered a bit rough. I speak fairly well and dress scruffy but not in any fashion (no big dangly earings sorry), other few mums the same - my friend from up north delighted in telling me the first time i went to a party she was at that she is "rough as fuck!" (she was quite drunk) and another woman from london who just seems like a normal everyday mum to me.

OK, so i don't live on XYZ estate, but i did grow up in council housing and have no issues with it. My road is quite rough anyway. I have never been on the Jeremy Kyle show (one of them had - i can't wait for her to dish the dirt!) and i don't wear huge gold hoops but i AINT FUCKING POSH!!

But WTF? Does it matter, so what if i am educated and an older mum, i WAS a single mum at 19 and i found it a doddle (i had alot of support) I am now 39 and i am struggling with my DDs behaviour lately and getting all shouty so thought this course would be a great opportunity to share experiences and learn ways to not shout and lose my rag.

The organiser didn't comment (a comment like "we are all the same here, we are all parents" would have been appropriate i think( I bet she would have said something if i had said something like, phew, im glad im not in a group with those chavs! not that i thought they were chavs, but you know what i mean!

grrrrrr

OP posts:
2shoes · 28/01/2009 17:21

I wouldn't worry about it, i would rather be called posh than common(not that I am either)

WEESLEEKITLauriefairycake · 28/01/2009 17:23

it was just something to say though cos she's outgoing.

You're not posh, nicely down to earth

ignore.....ignore

tiredsville · 28/01/2009 17:28

I wouldn't wory about it Lucy, just be fecking grateful your not in the group with the Jeremy Vile guest {Yuck}

alicecrail · 28/01/2009 17:28

Buy some cheap lovely gold hoops and a velour trackie - sorted!

PlumBumMum · 28/01/2009 17:29

Sounds like shes trying to impress the younger mums and fit in
Hope you can relax and enjoy the next class, and hope by the end she wasn't in your group

Although you might have to swap every week then she'll be enbarrassed

PlumBumMum · 28/01/2009 17:30

sorry mean't to say hope shes jealous she wasn't in your group

Jillydix · 28/01/2009 17:31

LucyEllensMummy - from your posts that I have seen on here you seem really nice and friendly. I know it's not easy, but try only to care about the opinions of people who matter to you. She sounds rather insecure - leave her in the strange place that she's at and celebrate being you!

LucyEllensmummy · 28/01/2009 17:31

what annoyed me was that i got the impression that she thought i/we were looking down on her/them! But weesleekit you may be right, she might have just said it because she definately is a bit rough round the edges and was having a laugh at herself too. I'll not bear a grudge, i just wont invite her round for afternoon tea!

The JV guest actually came across as quite intelligent and sorted actually i was I honestly thought they were all actors!

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 28/01/2009 17:31

sounds to me more like she was jeaous/ threatened by your self-assuredness (don't know if that's really word but I'm not posh either).

I wouldn't take it personally, but if the same kind of thing happens again next week have a quiet word with the group leader about how divisive you felt her comments were.

tiredsville · 28/01/2009 17:35

She probably doesn't get out much.

alicecrail · 28/01/2009 17:37

lucyellensmummy I have the same problem with some of my family. I was pretty much brought up by my dad and grandma who got me into horses which i loved. My mum's side of the family (only one or two) were always calling me posh because i don't say ain't or innit! (if i had said any of these my grandma would have put me right!)and because i rode. They were also wanting to go on jeremy kyle! enough said!

CountessDracula · 28/01/2009 17:39

God I wonder if she was the man who came to my door and kept going on about my posh dog and posh floor.

Honestly though, I wouldn't worry

You probably are posh compared to her
it's all relative.
Also there are worse things you could be called than posh!

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