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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find this thank you card utterly ridiculous

47 replies

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:27

...it goes like this:

"thank you for my lovely present, I started using it straight away. Mummy and Daddy enjoyed the wine you gave them. I had a lovely time at Christmas. Mummy has luckily recovered from her flu. Maybe we could come round for a play some time?

Love from x"

All this written in the child's mother's handwriting. Now guess how old the child is?

OP posts:

juicyjolly · 26/01/2009 22:40

Why the big deal?

Original poster

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:40

I have a nearly eight year old and since she was about six I have insisted that she writes thank you cards herself. Possibly insisted by PC if lots had to be done.

OP posts:

Original poster

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:41

I just can't the tweeness.

OP posts:

LittleMadeline · 26/01/2009 22:41

At least you got a thank you card. Most of the time, when DD goes to a party, the party-givers don't even bother sending one.

I made my DDs cards on the PC and altered them according to the present she was given and by whom. So she didn't sign them, but hey, she had 29 kids at her party and she's only 5.

Original poster

emkana · 26/01/2009 22:41

can't stand

I should stop posting tonight, brain not working properly

OP posts:

seeker · 26/01/2009 22:41

I would be MASSIVELY judgemental if this is a NT 9 year old.

I have done this sort of icky stuff on behalf of babies though. I blame the hormones.

piscesmoon · 26/01/2009 22:41

A mother can do that sort of thing before they are old enough to write but not for a 9 year old!

TheInnocentBystander · 26/01/2009 22:42

I remember that thread Piscesmoon - it went on and on!

The 9 year old is bone idle if she can't be arsed to write thankyou and the mother is nuts for pandering to it all.

piscesmoon · 26/01/2009 22:44

Exactly LittleMadeline-my pet hate-why couldn't DC thank them as she opened them rather than have some sort of production line? If you want to do it fine-but it doesn't make it more acceptable than a genuine verbal thank you at the time.

piscesmoon · 26/01/2009 22:49

It did go on and on TheInnocentBystander! I will go to bed. I hate the high moral ground that people take because they write for their DC
'Dear Ben thank you for the _ I hope you enjoyed the party, love Tom'

I would much rather Tom walked up to Ben and said thank you. 9 times out of 10 Tom has no idea what Ben gave him anyway!
I must go to bed-I always get crabby on the subject of thank you letters! I make my DSs write tham to people who are not there when they open them and it is 'blood sweat and tears' on my part!

morningpaper · 26/01/2009 22:56

YEUCH!

YANBU

LittleMadeline · 26/01/2009 22:58

Pisces - I see where you are coming from - it's a bit much from a 9 year old - but at a kids party, they don't often open their presents until they get home, so it's hard to say thanks straight away.

ChippingIn · 26/01/2009 23:38

IMO - saying thank you for the present at the time is polite and sufficient. It doesn't matter if the presents are opened there and then or not. It is 'the thought that counts', that is what you are thanking someone for, you are not giving it a rating out of 10 once you have opened it!?!

Having said that, as it seems to be the 'done thing' at the school the LO is at, we will be sending thank-you notes to all the kids. I will write what she asks me to (in her words) and she will sign it (she will be 4 in May - ok with her name but not up to writing the whole thing many times over!!).

jasper · 26/01/2009 23:48

maybe it's meant to be humourous?

beanieb · 26/01/2009 23:51

I think it's bizzare that a parent would write a thank you note for a nine year old. Couldn't she write it herself? I was writing my own thank you notes much younger than that!

KittyBigglesworth · 27/01/2009 07:35

Oh, I gave up expecting the same level of courtesy as I had to give my relatives a long time ago! I can remember my mother telling me that the thank you card had to cover both sides of the card! Ahh it seemed like such an ordeal, I used to dread doing them! Now I'm older, I do enjoy receiving thank you cards and I can understand why I was made to write them. A few sentences or just a plain card have me feeling like a very lucky aunt indeed! You think that a Mum writing a nine year old's card is bad? How about one writing a thank you card on behalf of her 29yr old daughter to thank us for her son's 2nd birthday gift! That's right,my husband's mother(the grandmother) had to write the card and sign it with the daughter's signature! It would have been a lot simplier if she'd just picked up the phone!

Oh and I should find it cute, but I cringe at those cards that parents write in the style of the child before they can actually write. Naff. Just thank the giver for their kindness towards your child instead of writing "Dear XXXXX. Thank you wery, wery (sic) much for my toy. I am now growing so big." doesn't the parent feel like an idiot writing it?

Watoose · 27/01/2009 07:42

I've seen worse tbh! But not when the child is 9

I have just started writing them on behalf of ds1 who is 5. I write roughly what he wants to say (or a more concise/polite version) and then get him to sign it in messy 5yo writing with huge kisses so it's definitely dictated rather than mummy channelling.

Bleurgh

mm22bys · 27/01/2009 08:01

I'm trying to be less judgemental , but really, something like this from a nine year old('s mother) is just plain ridiculous.

What is the point?

She is old enough to ring up to say thanks / write a simple card (Thanks for the lovely present from a nine year old would be more than enough from me, but to go on about mummy's wine and flu is ridiculous).

Unless she has SN? In which case, if the mother is insisting on putting up the pretence that she doesn't, then the mother needs help.

iMum · 27/01/2009 08:22

better hope she isnt a mumsnetter!

Frasersmum123 · 27/01/2009 10:52

Mmmm - very strange, not something I would do - its like speaking or writing about yourself in the third person. And My Ds is 8 so I make him write his own I am a mean Mummy, but I always tell him he doesnt have to write the thank-you cards if he doesnt want to accept thier present, and he always writes the card.

MmeLindt · 27/01/2009 10:55

YANBU

and [snurk] at copyright

HensMum · 27/01/2009 10:57

I write letters like that for DS, using a font that's supposed to look like a child's handwriting.
Yes, I know it's twee but he's only 15 months old and not up to writing them himself. As soon as he can write, he's doing them himelf so I'm just enjoying the tweeness while I can.

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