to expect nursery to take ds to the potty rather than wait for him to ask for it?

[deaconblue]

He's 2.9 and we started potty training 9 days ago. At home he's been totally dry from day 4 onwards. In the mornings at nursery he wets 2 or 3 times, even his shoes are soaked. I have explained that he's still at the stage where he needs to be reminded to go to the potty and doesn't yet ask for it. I was told today that they mostly wait for him to ask, sometimes put him on the potty, but can't do it often because "it gets really busy". He only tends to go every 2 hours and can produce a wee straight away if you ask him to.
So am I being unreasonable to go into nursery tomorrow and say that I expect them to actively take him 2 hourly?

too busy - unacceptable excuse!

my DS is potty training and they ask him all the time and he asks to

you tell them your expectations and they should stick to them

I'm undecided

I think if a child is 'potty-trained' that means they can generally take responsibility for their own toiletting, most of the time

But of course nursery should be helping him by reminding him regularly

No YANBU at all. Their excuse that they are too busy is however totally unacceptable.

Tell them exactly how often you would like them to take ds. That should really not be a problem for them in a childcare setting. If it is I would be having words with the manager

that's what I thought. I don't want him to start thinking that nursery is a place where he doesn't need to use the potty, was such an initial battle to get him interested in potty training, I don't want to lose the momentum.

notnowbernard - I agree to an extent. Ds is at the learning to be potty trained stage so needs help to become fully "potty-trained" iyswim

YANBU at this stage - if it was 2-3 weeks down the line then yes, at some point you have to step back and they take over asking. DS started asking about Day 8/9 at home but despite being trained for nearly a month he won't go at preschool until I collect him, he doesn't wet though, just holds it in. Anyway, "too busy" is nuts, when DS was at nursery they were changing his nappy more frequently than that and that's far more hassle!

ISWYM

He'll get there

He's probably just used to you reminding him loads. The staff can't do that at nursery, there's too much going on

DD1 used to wet at nursery sometimes, despite being trained. They never seemed suprised at all, it's v common, apparently

When dd1 was at nursery the staff (and it was a busy nursery) tried their utmost to follow the parent's choices wrt potty training. As others have said, this is early days, the "training" stage. Fair enough a month or so down the line for them not to remind him frequently, but in the first few weeks it is (imo) essential

YANBU

that is really rubbish, they should be helping out at this point

NotnowBernard, "The staff can't do that at nursery, there's too much going on"

The staff at my ds's nursery were more than able to do that and they did. In fact it was them that really took the lead with potty training my DS1 (as he started asking when he was there first).

As far as I'm concerned a good nursery should be more than able to accomodate a childs' needs during potty training and should do their utmost to meet these needs.

I think it is reasonable to expect the nursery to ask your ds if he wants to go to the potty on a regular basis, but not actually follow a 2-hourly schedule where they actually take him to the potty. I don't think they have the time to police that sort of thing.

Fully potty-trained means your ds has to ask for the potty. I suspect he will get there faster if he is allowed to wet himself.

Lots of children regress at nursery because the reminders are not there. And they are too busy playing to ask to go. Bear in mind it is more work for nursery workers to clean up the mess and change your ds than it is for them to put him to the potty. So I think that logistically, with so many children, it is simply not likely that they can keep track of when was the last time your ds did a wee/poo.

It is still early days. Bring lots of changes of clothes. Be glad your nursery will actually help with potty training - some nurseries don't.

Agree with Blueshoes

DD's nursery took the lead as well with her potty training (we are almost there) they have a policy of asking every 30 minutes if they want to go.

You need a cheap digital watch preset the alarm at 2 hourly intervals for when your DS is at nursery and fix it to his belt loop.

He probably wont be able to turn it off and they'll be promptly reminded (and hopefully turn it off).

YANBU. Dd's creche, in fact even her school a couple of years on, herd everyone off to do pi pi at regular intervals. Accidents have been very far and few between.

In fact, it was the creche that effectively potty trained dd I'm ashamed to admit. We just kept up their good work at home

I am a childminder and I ask newly training children every half hour if they want to go to the potty/toilet. I don't want them wetting (or soiling) themselves any more than they or their parents do. Not a problem for me.

My nursery take DD to the toilet once every hour, at least offer it to her. She has a chart as she is still in their eyes potty training (for about 6 months!) and each time she goes it is written down in a little chart with a smiley face next to it when she went, marked when she did not need to go, and she gets a green smiley face at the end of the day when she has been dry all day.

Oh btw, YANBU. My DD has never had an accident at nursery, even when training. They never left her that long.

thanks for opinions everyone. I went in today and asked them to take him to the potty at 10am and to use stickers as a reward/incentive. Seemed like a revolutionary idea . We'll see if it makes any difference.

I would have thought that potty training was quite a large part of taking care of your little one. If nurseries can't cope with it, then they can't look after the kids properly IMO. But then again, what do I know, DS isn't at that stage yet.

YABU and YANBU at the same time.

I agree with PP who says that a child has to learn the signs for themselves when they need to go, that if you just hapen to catch them when they need a wee and hapen to put them on the potty right then, that is teaching them nothing.