to take black bags and throw my girls stuff away?

[SparklyGothKat]

I have had enough of their ungrateful ways... their room is heaving with things, yet they say they have nothing to play with.. they are always saying we hate them.. It upsets me and dh as we don't deprive them.. I am going to go into their room while they are at school and throw away anything broken and the rest will go to the chartity shop. There are children out there who would love half of what they have.

whats bought it to a head sparkly?

how old are they?

Mine are (most of the time) lovely kids but they DO say hurtful things and can claim to be "bored" with a houseful of toys, crafts and books. The girls room is a disgrace and overflows all over the house till we have a big row, it improves for a while then starts again.

Talking to mums at the school gate I have learned it is not really meant personally, and they will grow out of it. and that Mess is normal, I can remember it being the same when i was a kid. Still bloody irritating though!

Mine are 3, 7 and 9 and I regularly go through their things for the charity shop collection. Somethings they don't even notice have gone. If they ask "do you know where X is?" 3 months later, you can quite truthfully say no!!

Don't do anything in anger.

Far better to go in with a bin liner, throw out everything broken and then put half of what's left in the loft, and then have a conversation about attitudes and how to earn back their stuff!!

• and kids ALWAYS say they hate you! ds1, this very evening, said he wants a mum and dad who aren't horrible!

This is because I was mean enough to tell him not to try to smash the wii remote and to turn off the console!

I am truly wicked!

Point is, they all say it, try not to let it get to you.

Oh dear. sounds like a bad day, maybe? I know how you're feeling- I did the exact same thing once- but stopped before I got the stuff to the charity shop. I put it upstairs in the loft and only brought some bits down now and then. Made me feel better tho I have to say, the child in question STILL seems ungrateful etc etc......

i threatened earlier to throw away any item of clothing left on DDs floor. am bracing myself for backing down at bedtime because i really can't be arsed to go through the trauma of replacing it all. why can't i threaten reasonable things?

i'm all in favour of athorough weed while they're at school. anything not played with or looked at for a while gets the chop.

Dd2 saying 'I don't want to play on 'ninteno dogs or catz, thats all there is!!' If they kept their room tidy they wouldnt lose the bloodly games..

They are 7 and 8. So ungrateful...

I was told 'You are a horrible mum and you hate me!' by Dd1, because I switched off the TV as she needed a shower.

Honest, they DO all say stuff like that, it is frustration....do they relent later and tell you they love you?

I can be hated and the best mum in the world in a matter of hours!

They don't hate me, apparently I hate them

they can be self centred little poor me's can't they? i'd weed their stuff ,stick a -load- of it in the loft (incl nintendo and other favourites) tell them why and what they have to do in order to get any of it back....i'd even write it down in a contract and check each night whether they have done their bit

If it helps, I once read that the kids who vent their spleen and answer back and shout and yell are actually the most secure. They do it because they know they are not going to come to any harm, it will not affect how much you love them, you will always forgive them etc etc. the ones to worry about are the ones who are too scared to answer back. The ones who really are neglected and unwanted don't dare say anything at all.

Ds1 is a love, he is 11 and can be a little git at times, but he is very loving.

Dd1 has her moments, she has ADHD and didn't have her meds today so has been hyper all day, which doesn't help, but we don't like to medicate her every day. Dd2 is at the age where she isn't a baby but not old enough to do things that the older two do, so pushes the bounty all the time.

I like it when I get a letter saying 'I love you mummy from XXXXX'

My kids don't have a massive amount of toys, mostly because I weeded over half out when I stopped childminding as just didn't have the space. I figured the kids wouldn't notice, and I was right.

Stripped half the cuddlies off each of their beds, and ds only noticed when he saw one in a binliner (but hasn't noticed that any others are gone off his bed, only what he saw and I imagine he's forgotten already.) He's nearly 5

What proves they don't need so much is I took two huge black sacks of toys over to a friends (who is a CM). Didn't think duh - she's my CM too so my dc will notice their toys there! And what did ds say when he saw it to my friend/CM? 'Oh that used to be ours, we didn't want it anymore so it's yours now'

From a 4 year old, who's never been told toys get thrown away or not needed or what have you. And didn't know those particular toys were being given anywhere for sure.

loobeylou - I think your post will become my new mantra... repeated to myself when dd is screaming top of her lungs

They have clothes falling out the wardrobe, toys everywhere!! Their room is a state, I hate tidying it, it takes about 2 hours. The boys rooms are nothing like theirs.

I find the same ds roomis spotless but he wears the first thing he finds, whereas dd1 and dd2 pulled clothes out, drop them, walk all over them, throw dirty clothes on top of them and they all need to be washed again!
I personally spent 4 hrs yesterday cleaning and decluttering rooms. Left them with enough clothes in drawer to last a week and put all other good clothes in hot press, others just went for recycling! It puts me in the worst of humour. I haveavoided it for 3 weeks. It was such a pleasure to just make beds this morning and walk away

hello. i agree with lunavix.. loobeylou, your post has made my day
i have had a particularly bad day with dd2, who has whinged and screamed and refused to tidy her toys away, has been awful to me and her dad and little brother.
i shouted (loudly ) back at her and sent her to her room. have felt bad all evening, as i did not read her a bedtime story, and ignored her at tea time also.
your post has made me look at it all quite differently, and i feel better now.
thanks!!

sgk, just ignore the mess, yes i know its easy for me to say, but if you clean it, they will expect you to do it always.
leave it for a few days, (just shut the door!!) and then i reckon they will get sick eventually and at least start to tidy stuff away. you could then join them, and help out.
hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us.
xx

oh, also, give them a bin bag each and ask them too fill them with their unwanted toys to give to charity.
i find my daughter loves to do this and always feels really good about it.
hth xx