to want just one day when the kids do not break/ruin/destroy something

[zanz1bar]

all you newbie parents take your most treasured items and throw them one by one of a cliff edge chanting...it doesn't matter, its only stuff, i love my children. zen.

i come down stairs this morning, barefoot and step on my grandmothers opal ring on the kitchen floor minus opal.

walk into the sitting room to have a little conversation with dd, to find ds climbing along windowsill knocking over a glass reed diffuser...broken glass and stinky room freshner now spilt on sofa/carpet/curtains.

back into kitchen for tea and valium/gin . notice kitchen scales on work top with biro jammed into the back....why the heck did they do that, its just so random.

i give up, there is nothing left, they have destroyed everything.

I am a bit shocked at the destructiveness on this thread! I would be furious if either of mine did anything like that.

And mine have been allowed to get up by themselves for ages - can't imagine having a stair gate for an 8 year old!

Mine would trash upstairs if left up there. I too have to make that choice wake the second I hear them or find wanton destruction in their wakes.
My four year old is more trustworthy than my 5 soon to be 6 year old

they trash stuff they help me clean it up.

and punishments are handed out.

Mine did go through a phase of destructiveness at around 4 and 7 respectively. But I have always assumed that that was linked to some pretty horrible things that happened in the family at that time, and not a normal phase of child development. My friends didn't seem to have similar experiences.

I've also discovered its sometimes better to leave out non precious stuff in case they get the urge to wreck that way its that not the tv or curtain rail.

I don't mind trashing - mine would trash if you mean making dens out of the duvet and upending the toy baskets to find something. But they don't break things.Or if they do it's a proper accident and they are upset about it.

A stair gate for an 8 yr old! Don't they just climb over it? Mine went downstairs by themselves from an early age without a problem. I never tolerated trashing stuff-they quickly get the message.

Well dd can open it.
Ds can't though.

I keep it there because i don't want other kids going upstairs and I suppose because when it's gone I'll feel the babyness is gone.

I don't mind making a mess with imaginative play-but something that is easily tidied up-not breaking and destroying things.

I feel your pain too. DD is only 19mo and it feels like nothing is sacred. I can't have anything around me like books or knitting or even a cup of tea. It's really frustrating that I can't leave anything for a second. I just want to have an adult day for once!

It is hard work when they are little but if you stop them being destructive it pays off in the end and before long you have a child who can be left on their own. For example DS1 used to pull books out of the book case and it was very wearing to stop him, move him away and put the books back every single time and the temptation was to leave him to it. However if you do it everytime, they stop. Looking back it was a very short phase.

I would'nt let my DC go downstairs without if they behaved like that. What are the consequences for them? I would take a toy off them (that they like) and give it away.

Zen my love I wish I could tell you it gets better but why lie.

It gets less random though, I have in the past "removed" some of my children's things, in a effort to teach them that if they colour in the family bible I find it upsetting.

Stair gates and locks on doors.

My lovely neighbour said to me the day we moved in with 3 month old DS the highest shelf is the ceiling, and by god she was right

Kimi, it does get better! Of course it does! The vast majority of 11-year-olds are not into random acts of destruction. It is a question of time. One day....

19 month olds do break things because they don't know how not to. That's why you make sure they can't get at anything precious. But 5 year olds?