He is so gorgeous (got better looking with age) and I fancy him more now than when we got together!!. I was pretty gorgeous back then as well, a size 8-10. Fast forward 15 years (3 DCs later + 1 stillbirth) and am now size 22, smoke 20 a day (outside!) and am a complete wreck. Can't quite believe that he still wants to have sex with me . Have no friends as because of the weight, am a bit of a sociopath as well. DH works 12 hours a day and never complains that there is no dinner on the table (comes home late so does his own), that the house is not as clean as it could be and there is a 4ft pile of ironing propped up in the bedroom (does his own ironing too), never questions what I spend money on and is a great dad. I even feel guilty that he drives a crap old banger as had to trade in the Audi when we had a financial mishap a few years ago and are also in rented rather than our own house (lost that as well then due to MY great plan that blew up in our faces). We have no social life cos I'm a miserable ass and won't go out.Feel as if I have let him down and sometimes think he and the DCs would be better off with me gone and him remarrying someone more like him with loads of energy and a happy personality . I really feel that he has got the raw end of the deal. Keep trying to lose weight and quit the fags but can't quite manage it as am a weak, pathetic person. He tries to help me and wants me to feel better. AIBU to think that I don't deserve him?