...to ask for housekeeping money?

[vtiredmummy]

A good friend it staying with us at the mo while she does some temp work down the road from us (she lives 2 hours drive away). She asked and we said that it was fine.

It was due to be 1 wk, then 3 wks, now possibly til end Feb or end March.

She is a v dear friend but our finances are very tight due to redundancy. AIBU to ask for a small amount of money to cover her food, bills etc?

(I wasn't going to when it was just going to be 1 week btw!)

Explain and I am sure she would be very happy to give you money towards bills etc.

Definiely fine to ask for money.
I'd mention it and agree an amount before you agree to her staying the extra time tbh

Agree with Ruby, amazed she hasn't offered, particularly now it looks like it might be months.

I think as the time frame has changed considerably this would be fine.
If she was not staying with you she would have hotel/food bills on top or a horrendous commute with the cost of fuel on top.
How about asking she does the food shop once a fortnight.
You could do it online and then she can add anything else she wants and pay with her card.

In fact now I think about it, if she asked to stay with you for a week long temp job, surely if it looks like it will be longer she needs to either make alternative arrangements or at least re-check with you that it's fine and arrange money? Shouldn't have to come from you really.

def ask for some contribuation

1 week is fine but 8/12weeks and not paying anything is very selfish of her

if you didnt let her stay, she wouldnt be able to do the work and earn money

YANBU at all. You are saving her either huge travel costs or huge accommodation bills, a bit of housekeeping sounds very reasonable.

thank u all!

I shy away from awkward situations at the best of times, so it means a lot for others to tell me IANBU. And it gives me a little more cofidence to ask her outright, rather than work myself into a state and then get all angry with her which would be unfair on her. Which I have a habit of doing

Just ask her very pleasantly. With any luck she will be horribly embarrassed she hasn't already offered and will fall over herself to give you lots of cash.

Alternatively, if she makes a fuss (unlikely), then you can justifiably get cross.

OK - harder question...how much do I ask her for? How much is reasonable?

I know she only earns close to minimum wage, and I don't want to earn money from her staying, but at same time it'll cost more in electricity, water bills, food, drink etc...

are you doing her laundry? packed lunches or just dinner & breakfast? snacks? alcohol?

friend of mine asks her grown up son for £40 a week, that's to cover all bills too. Would have thought £25 - £30 was reasonable, but depends on what you eat & where you shop I guess!

Ask her and see what she suggests?

Laundry yes, packed lunches no, she doesn't tend to eat brekkie, so dinner, snacks and alcohol when we all have a glass (or two...)