to wish that my friends wouldn't keep raising the stakes in terms of having friends round outside of school?

[eekamoose]

????? well am I ??????

Does anyone know what I'm on about ??????

DD is almost never invited back after hosting playdates, I'd live in constant resentment if I didn't pretend to ignore it kept a tally. She was allowed one friend to sleepover for her 7th birthday (they were in bed by 9). I don't expect DD to be invited to sleep over anywhere for years to come. DS9yo has slept over somewhere just once.
Reading MN threads is weird tonite.
No one gives me detailed updates about what their DC achieve;
I've never been invited with DC on a playdate that included wine;
No one I've heard about invites more than 2 children over for a sleepover (and that's usually not until at least age 8yo);
I can't detect any one-up-manship about birthday parties, etc.

Maybe all that sh*t is happening, but it completely passes me by.....

You don't have to compete just do what you want to.

Only reason I let ds have his friends over all the time is I'm bone idle and much prefer to see someone else in charge of the entertainment. Does this count as raising the stakes?

I wouldn't dream of being offended if one of my dcs wasn't invited by someone who had been to his party. Life is too short.

Ds only has 1 friend over for a sleepover at a time.

Hes out at one tonight

No cory what you describe is not what I would describe as "raising the stakes". I thought I'd been fairly specific in my two posts .

Oh well. Am not going to say it all again!

Yeah, I gathered it was about sleepovers, but they still don't strike me as work- somebody else is in charge of the entertainment. Dd's last birthday party was great- I went to bed with a book at an early hour and left them to it.

Be much harder if I had to entertain the mums, but I haven't done that for years.

I think some people over think this sort of thing. I like people over, so I do a lot of inviting. I I also don't work outside the home, so I always try and do a bit more than my "share" (if you like!) of this sort of thing because it's easier for me than for some of the other mothers. If I worked then I might very well be extremely reluctant to have my house trashed at night if I knew I didn't have time the next day to un-trash it!

I know it's not what OP is saying (and I agree that it can seem over the top with what some parents do), but I love having friends of dd's over. She is only in reception and went knowing only one person in the schoool so I like her asking to have friends home as she is making new friends. I don't expect them to invite her back, although it is nice when they do as she enjoys going out to their houses too. I am a childminder so am at home with kiddies anyway, and it's really nice for her to be able to play with someone because she wants to rather than because I look after them, itms!

Another mum of an only dc and I love having people over too. Haven't reached the sleepover stage yet (dd is 3.5) but I I don't mind the idea at all. Inevitably, mums of onlies tend to be more open to having kids over - I understand it's not as easy for those with several dc and it's nice for say a middle/younger dc to have his own playdate without sibs.

ah yes competitve 'friending' and competitive 'birthdaying' - aaahh am so glad those days are behind me now. I fully know where you are coming from - i think its bad between ages of 3-6 and then dies down completely