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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

<screams> to expect to find just one or two frickin meals that BOTH my children will eat....

46 replies

ChugtasticCrew · 22/01/2009 18:10

Just made pasta with homemade tom sauce and meatballs (pork mince, grated apple...I really TRIED....)
DS loved it, dd still picking at hers
Dd likes Jacket potatoes, ds doesn't
Dd likes cheese, ds doesn't
Ds likes baked beans, dd doesn't

I could go on

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 22/01/2009 19:39

I have 3 DCs, I already have to cook an early meal and a later one for DH, there is absolutely no way that I am pandering cooking 3 different things! There is something for each meal that they will eat, although they might prefer not to. I put veg and things in bowls and they help them selves. I am also a master of disguise-they have no idea what goes into bolognaise sauce etc.

jobschmob · 22/01/2009 19:41

Glad to hear of people who have identical problems to me (mine are 4 & 7, the 7 year old is getting better and the 4 year old is getting worse).

PlumBumMum · 22/01/2009 19:42

Yeah bolognaise good for that
spell bolognaise that looks funny or maybe just the wine

Othersideofthechannel · 22/01/2009 19:43

bolognese

PlumBumMum · 22/01/2009 19:50

Thank you otherside Knew it wasn't the wine

piscesmoon · 22/01/2009 19:52

I think bolognese is Italian and bolognaise French-I must admit with me it has just been a long day! Bolognese looks better.

PlumBumMum · 22/01/2009 19:58

Have a glass of wine piscesmoon(chink)

LaTrucha · 22/01/2009 20:01

My MIL has a tried and tested, if extreme, method.

The one time my DH refused lunch, she just said, 'fine, no problem.'

At tea time, when his sisters were having tasty snacks, the same dinner was produced. Ditto at dinner time..... by the morning he was so hungry he would eat anything and never refused again.

I think you need big b***ks for that one though.

Twims · 22/01/2009 20:31

Would love to do that - LaTrucha

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 22/01/2009 20:38

When we were little me and my brother weren't fussy. However my dad on occasion served stuff he knew we didn't like. He was horrid if we refused it. I used to find it quite distressing as tbh it was only one or two things we didn't like.

It's made me more accepting of when my dcs are a bit picky. They are generally good eaters, but like all children on occasion they refuse stuff. I guess (like a lot of things) sometimes the middle ground is better. i.e. not on one hand saying "tough eat it or nothing else" and the opposite extreme cooking lots of different options and basically running a restaurant!

Good luck.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 22/01/2009 20:40

chugtastic just a thought could the dcs "cook" occasionally with you? I mean basic things, obviously, like pasta or similar. I know this isn't always practical though. My dd wouldn't eat carrots until I chopped them and then called her into the kitchen to put them in the saucepan!

rachaelsara · 22/01/2009 20:44

Ha! I'm a ceoliac, dd1 is veggie, dd2 will only eat chicken, dd3 is easy and dd4 hates chips. DH won't eat fish other than salmon. Ha! It's like an a la carte restaurant in my house. But I don't actually mind!

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 22/01/2009 20:50

rachaelsara in our house it is dh who is the coeliac.

Sometimes I prefer to cook myself something different (occasionally I fancy a pie or something as a treat which of course he can't have unless a specially made one of course)

Also in this house we often feed the dcs earlier so I guess I am already cooking at least 2 meals.

rachaelsara · 22/01/2009 20:58

Today was jacket potato day, so I just put a selection of fillings out, beans, tuna and sweetcorn, cheese, toms, egg mayo and they fill them according to taste and they will try a bit of a new thing sometimes...

They all like pasta, but mine is too expensive, so I still cook twice!

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 22/01/2009 21:01

Yes we have a lot of jacket potatoes here too. dd1 is allergic to egg so that rules out main ingredient for all of us. (dh loves omelettes which are nice and easy of course)

I used to make pizza (using dh's gf pizza bases) to share with him, but tbh I got fed up of that. (sorry, I know you can't just go and buy/order any old pizza yourself, but the non gf option are so much nicer)

cory · 22/01/2009 21:03

Mine have both had a phase like this. Oh...of about 4 years. But have now mercifully emerged and are becoming quite a pleasure to feed. Though haggis last night was a little much, I gather. Even my offer of reciting Robert Burns during the meal was received coldly

tittybangbang · 22/01/2009 22:46

Same as you picsesmoon.

My kitchen is not a fricking restaurant where kids get to choose off a menu. If they don't like it they don't have to eat it all, but I'm not cooking anything else. I have the same rule for adults. If DH came home and said 'I don't like what you've made me for dinner, can you get back in the kitchen and make me something else?' I'd laugh in his face. Why should we pander to this sort of behaviour in children when it's just plain rude?

Would like to say though - this approach is inhumane if you are a crap cook. It's cruel to expect children to eat disgusting food.

tittybangbang · 22/01/2009 22:53

Should add - I don't ask DH what he wants for dinner either!

Also wanted to say - was speaking to a dietician last week who told me that children will often reject a food 13 - 17 times before accepting it. She suggested that children keep being gently encouraged to try small tastes of foods that they aren't keen on. If you only ever give children what they are familiar with, and what they like then you are not helping them develop more sophisticated and healthier tastes as they get older.

I would never force a child to eat something they were repelled by, but being regularly presented with a wide range of foods, some of them unfamiliar, has worked really well for my dc's (3,5,9).

cory · 22/01/2009 22:54

I do allow my children to keep a list of their 3 most hated food stuffs (not counting basics such as spuds and bread) and will make a deliberate effort to keep those off the menu or provide an alternative, but otherwise they are expected to eat what there is- or not eat. (I am not horrid about it, they just know the score- and there is always things like spuds or rice and veg, so they won't starve)

I would however behave differently if I had a child with real sensory problems or similar. It's just that I am convinced that my children are healthy and not at risk of starving themselves. Also, that I can carry this through without getting horribly frustrated or tense.

tw1nkley · 22/01/2009 23:18

I'm with pisces on this one, I cook one meal for the whole family.

I don't cook things I know they hate and they normally eat their dinner and ask for fruit for desert. Not trying to upset any one or cause green faces LOL!! It has taken a long time all sorts of food games and a lot of patience getting them to try new things, but it has paid off eventually. Mine are 1 and 3 and 4. If it helps any they seem to change one they start school and see all the different things other kids have.

Good luck, don't stress!!!

piscesmoon · 23/01/2009 19:03

I don't force them to eat anything they don't want and I don't serve up things they hate. I don't ask DH what he wants either. I am open to requests-but not as an individual request.
I cook from fresh so anything else is impossible-it is never a question of bunging something in the microwave.
I get very tired of cooking day to day, I have done my bit by producing it so I leave the decision of whether to eat it or not to them, but I am certainly not producing an alternative.
They are free to offer to cook-I am quite happy to eat whatever is produced!

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