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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - not to want my colleague to comment on everything I eat??

25 replies

kizzib · 22/01/2009 12:53

Well, my workplace has started a 'fatty club' (we call it this) and I signed up. We weigh in every Wednesday. I joined it late, only Wednesday past. There are about 5/6 members, I'm the youngest. I aim to lose at least a stone.

Well, today I had wheatabix with skimmed milk and brought fruit into work (5 different kinds - 5 a day!) for lunch, but I was still hungry so got myself a sandwich. Just ham, on brown bread, no mayo/butter.

Cue lots of comments from one colleague in particular - "that's not healthy", "you're letting us all down", "do you know how many calories are in that", with lots of laughter from the other 'fatties'. I was really embarrassed.

I tried to explain that I was aiming to lose weight simply by reducing calories and cutting out chocolate but she went on and on about how unhealthy bread was etc

I don't want her commenting on everything I eat as it's extra pressure.

Our weigh ins are anonymous, a (nice) member of the team does the weigh ins with us and records our gain/loss under a code number. No one knows my code number except her. If they were able to know my gain/loss I wouldn't do it, but shouldn't we all support each other instead of acting all smug or something?

I have had a sh*t year AIBU to think this is the opposite of supportive?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/01/2009 12:58

Tell her not to be ridiculous, bread is a very healthy food. Particularly wholemeal bread.
All food is good as long as you don't eat too much of it. Just tell her to hump off or you will leave the club.

blondie80 · 22/01/2009 13:01

yanbu, but maybe the she thinks she is helping you? iygwim. if she is older and a serial dieter she probably knows the ins and outs of food. on the other hand she shouldn't make a laugh of you in front of everyone, maybe she's does it to make herself feel better. next time tell her to just concentrate on her own food consumption and not yours.

good luck with your weight loss!!

clam · 22/01/2009 13:02

That sort of attitude is why diets don't work. You just need to adopt a healthy eating plan - which would include brown bread (within a reasonable limit). Sounds like you're doing that. Tell her it's all under control, thank you.
And be grateful that you don't have my mother working with you. She asks me EVERY TIME I SPEAK TO HER, how the diet is going. The thing is, I'm not on one!

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 22/01/2009 13:03

Def unreasonable it's NOT supportive, bread as a part of a balanced diet is perfectly healty ( if you were eating half a loaf then she may have had some justification)

themoon66 · 22/01/2009 13:04

It sounds as though they are using the excuse of the fatty-club to indulge in a little playground style bullying.

Just ignore them, or tell them you've decided you like yourself a bit rounder looking.

They probably tell themselves they are 'being supportive' though and have no insight into the upset they are causing you.

chin up.

2pt4kids · 22/01/2009 13:05

She sounds misguided but as if she thinks she is helping?
Next time she says anything can you say to her 'I know you are trying to help, but to be honest comments like that do the opposite for me.'

VoluptuaGoodshag · 22/01/2009 13:08

It's not very supportive but at the risk of being offensive, it's very difficult to know what the right is to say in these situations.

My friend is constantly dieting and asking us to stop her eating things she shouldn't be. When we point out if she's eating something extra, she jumps down our throats and gets really huffy.

Original poster
kizzib · 22/01/2009 13:32

she's annoying overall tho, yesterday I was working with a client and client said "I can do this bit myself" so I said "call me over if you need me" and colleague shouted out "she'd rather have a coffee than help you!" she does things like that a lot and it p*sses me off but she's a popular person in the office so I dunno how to handle it tbh

OP posts:
Nekabu · 22/01/2009 13:39

Just ignore her. She obviously does it to everyone as that, unfortunately, is her personality. I feel sorry for her. You just have to put up with her personality defects during working hours, she has to deal with the results of it 24/7.

If she whitters on about what you're eating, just tell her you're obviously on the right track as your weight loss is going very well thank-you-very-much!

TheCrackFox · 22/01/2009 13:44

Next time ram the roll up her arse. What a cheeky cow. A ham sandwich is fine and you will lose weight eating a sensible diet.

Gorionine · 22/01/2009 13:44

I would join the chorus of people telling you to ignore this type of comments. You are trying to loose weight, not trying to starve yourself! A sensible diet should not feel like being on a hunger strike!

OrmIrian · 22/01/2009 13:47

Bugger me! You'd be better off doing it on your own than with this kind of 'support'.

tumtumtetum · 22/01/2009 13:54

She sounds like a bit of an arse!

Tell her to sod off!

No point in starving yourself - that's exactly why diets don't work. Eating more healthily and cutting out the bad stuff and eating when you're hungry and not when you're full is the trick. Easier said than done I know but sounds like you're doing a great job.

And why is everyone so down on bread? It's one of our staples for chrissake and is yummy and wholemeal is good for you. Everyone at my old work avoided bread and sat around eating 2 salad leaves for lunch and looking dead miserable. I had a yummy ham sandwich and looked cheerful. I was no fatter than them...

I did also notice a tendancy on the salad types part to suddenly start wolfing down choccy biccys at about 3 though...

blondie80 · 22/01/2009 13:56

it was very unprofessional to act like that infront of a client. can you report her to the higher powers for her conduct infront of a client?

just ignore the food remarks, she might not be as well liked in the office as you think, maybe others just ignore her too.

PrincessButtercup · 22/01/2009 14:00

It sounds as though she's pretty ignorant with regard to nutrition. Wholemeal bread and wholegrain food in general is fine in moderation and a good way of staving off hunger. I'd ignore her.

Don't starve yourself. I find the best way to lose weight is to eat smaller portions but often (never go for more than 3 hours without eating), so that you never feel the need to binge. Good luck!

Sidge · 22/01/2009 14:01

Tell her to poke it.

If she thinks bread isn't healthy then she is seriously misguided. Having some complex carbs and protein is healthier than fruit alone actually - protein has been shown to reduce hunger.

lilolilmanchester · 22/01/2009 15:00

YANBU, but I think you just have to ignore them. Actually, I think a healthy sandwich with a couple of pieces of fruit would be better for you than just fruit at lunchtime anyway.
Come over here for some friendly support outside of work.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 22/01/2009 15:50

Oh, she sounds like one of those one-up manship type people and pounce on anyone for any reason to make herself feel better.

Think you should go it alone too. You can do it and you don't need the likes of her to help you.

WorzselMummage · 22/01/2009 16:26

Just tell her to fuck off..

That ought to get the point accross

MadamDeathstare · 23/01/2009 01:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mymama · 23/01/2009 04:26

Ignore her then feel smug when you have lost weight at the next weigh in.

Nothing wrong with wholemeal bread. I would have to have a sandwich.

Incidentally 2 pieces of bread with 1 piece of sliced ham would be worth less points on WW points system then 5 pieces of fruit.

dazmum · 23/01/2009 17:39

Same with Slimming World - wholemeal bread is a 'healthy option' and ham is 'free'. Good luck!

MuchLessTiredNow · 23/01/2009 17:51

god she sounds AWFUL - the trouble is that retaliating to people like that just fuels them - you can bet she would repeat and distort your response. There's 2 different issues here - as for the bread thing, I would just smile and say 'there are lots of ways to skin a cat and ww and sw are fine with it' and leave it at that - if you can be bothered to dignify her with an answer. as for the client thing - if she ever does that again I would say to the client (the first time) 'I am so sorry - that is just her sense of humour' but loudly enough for her to hear, and if it happens again, tell her with witnesses she is undermining client trust on a groundless basis.

I would add that there are probably a lot of people who think the same as you do, and people like that are NEVER as popular as they think they are.

Well done for trying to be healthier and don't let her sabotage you - use her negativity to spur you on - then she will look nothing but stupid.

noonki · 23/01/2009 17:57

Well done, you are going about it all the RIGHT way

I spent years yoyoing

then discovered that if I stopped dieting and starting eating less crap but still eating a bit of everything I could stick to it.

I've maintained a decent weight for far longer than I ever have before.

Ignore her. and when you lose weight and it stays off her pathetic comments will stop.

sarahken · 23/01/2009 19:28

I'm not on a diet, but I have one collegue at work that really drives me mad. I don't drink tea or coffee, but have water throughout the day, and usually take a can of pepsi Max with me to work. The other day I had a urine test at the doctors where they found I had a bladder infection, and she said, 'surprised they could tell with all that coke you drink'. Then she makes comments about the caffine and sugar content, even though its a diet drink and she's supping coffee all day. She comments if I have a biscuit, even if I already had 3 pieces of fruit in the morning. What annoys me is that she hates fruit and will not touch the stuff and has 1/2 bottle of wine everynight, when I have 1 glass a week. Doesn't matter what I eat, she makes comments and it drives me mad as she has such a superiority complex about her all the time. I just laugh all now with her, and don't give her the reaction she wants. But its so annoying.

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