to think I shouldn't have to pay to attend a birthday party

[tootyflooty]

My bil is arranging a suprise night out for my sil 40th b day. Just for 8 of us, it involves a limo to a posh London Restaurant.
He says she deserves a special time as she works so hard (don't we all!). Now don't get me wrong it's a great idea, but it will cost us in excess of 300.00 for dh and myself. I wouldn't arrange a do and then expect guests to fork out that kind of money.With that kind of cash we could take our kids camping for a couple of weeks in the summer. We are under alot of pressure to go as it would spoil his plans if we are the only ones to drop out. I think the least he could have done is say he would cover the cost of the limo

YANBU. For my 40th, my dh spent a lot on me but he certainly didn't go round to SIL and ask her to chip in! She'd have floored him!

YANBU. £300 is too much.

I would explain the situation, skip the limo thing and meet them at the restaurant.
(Unless it's Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons or something?)

This happened to us a few years ago when sil rang and siad she'd booked a country cottage for bil's bday with them, dh's sister and her family and his parents as a surprise for dh's brother. They all live down south which is where the cottage was, it was going to cost us approx £300 which we just didn't have, we were saving up for a family holiday (we too are the poor relations )

Anyway, I felt bad about it but we just said we couldn't afford it, and aplolgised profusely. sil was lovely (she was dh's brother's wife, not dh's sister who certainly isn't lovely!!!) and offered to pay for us but there was no way we could have done that, so we didn't go.

Well... It's my 30th in March and we've hired a cottage and I have asked for £60 from each of my friends that is coming.

This doesn't cover the full cost of the cottage, we're paying most and we're providing food / booze so I think it is fair. Everyone coughed up willingly. And when I've been to similar things I have also paid up willingly... however, has never been more than £50.

£300 is a bit fierce!

That's more than fair, Osmosis, and I hope you have a great time.