To be miffed at a) why my mother told me & b) why my DC didn't get the same?

[MrsMagooo]

My BB (Bastard Brother) has recently announced he & his new wife are expecting.

I don't particulary get along with my brother, he's an arrogant, self centred, selfish, big headed, I'm-better-then-you moron & my mother thinks the sun shines out his arse! Anywho - I did the sisterly thing & offered them our crib & baby clothes.

My mother phoned last night to waffle on & on about said new baby & decided to tell me how she was going to throw SIL a baby shower & give them £100 towards a cot. (As well as the bouncer chair & clothes she's already bought)

Lovely gesture.....yes, but I didn't get that.

My mother didn't even come to my baby shower, she decided to go on SILs hen night instead.

And as for the £100 I didn't get anything like that when I was PG with either of my DC. The most we got was a playgym lol!

I was miffed as to why my mother told me this as it's just ended up making me feel like poo & like my DC aren't as important.

AIBU to miffed?

hmmm i'm waiting for attilathemeerkat to come along and refer you to the toxic parents book...

Eh ?

another one with a "golden boy" in the family here.

YANBU. It sucks, she is mad and there is nothing you can do about it !

um, my mum flew overseas to see my brother and kids on my due date. No reason why btw she doesn't work and he is flexible. dd2 born on due date btw. Then when she returned airport 20 mins from my house she went home because she was tired. She came the next day though .

I would say it's totally unfair but then you're used to her behaviour so you really need to try to accept her for what she is and know she is never going to change. This will happen again and again in the future (as I bet it has in the past) and the only one who is upset by the situation is you
Sorry this seems harsh but how are you going to try to change how you feel for when this happens again or you'll be upset very often!

My MIL spends nothing (or very little) on dh yet his siters get lovely well thought out presents for birthday and christmas. (this Christmas dh got 2 bottles of beer, he doesn't drink beer!!!) We used to get upset, now we don't as it's her, she's never going to change and, more importantly, we no longer care.

My dad thinks my brother is golden bollocks and I am little more than a mere woman (very sexist) I have been beside myself with hurt in the past but came to the realisation to expect nothing less from him than no support of my ideas and negativity all round.

Dh and I are much happier without all this family crap to deal with.

mrsmagoo - she sounds like a toxic parent. there's a book written by susan forward that helps you deal with parents like yours.

Oooo will have a look at that

you're definitely not alone.

I would totally accept that she is going to dote on this child more than yours.

My mum does on my nephew. I've tried to tell her that I want her to stop making it quite so obvious as it may upset both my sons and my nephew's little brother. I'm not saying she doesnt love the rest of her GS she does, but not as much as my nephew.

She has calmed it down a bit but I had to decide that I wouldn't let it bother me and since then it is much better.

I'm too old to get jealous, as long as my kids know I love them deeply and equally they won't be fussed.

And tbh my sister finds it a real pain as she undermines my sister when she is trying to discipline him.