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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Competition/teams and primary school

21 replies

Pitchounette · 19/01/2009 14:16

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
loobeylou · 19/01/2009 14:23

you have a point, house points for juniors only here

Original poster
Pitchounette · 19/01/2009 14:29

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
dingdong05 · 19/01/2009 14:37

Hmm, well, it really depends on how competitive the school make it, I think. Just because your lo is very competative (and I do feel for you) that's no reason why no one else can take part. It's like saying that the school can't put on an end of year show because 1 kid is horribly shy.
The up side to something like this is that the kids become part of a team, the activities need doing etc, but there's also a sense of belonging, team work, fraternity etc. Your lo is gaining that side of it- he helped his friend because he is part of his team. Working on the "be good for goodness sake" as well as that is something we all have to do with our los
So, all in all, if the school are promoting it in a balanced way, then YABU

dingdong05 · 19/01/2009 14:40

And as he gets older, and you explain it to him (over and over and over lol) he will start to understand the why his team didn't/did win. He must have a glimmer of understanding if he helped out a team-mate in order to get a point for the team though

Original poster
Pitchounette · 19/01/2009 14:43

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 19/01/2009 14:50

It's a good opportunity to teach him team work and to be a good loser.
5 is not too young for this
YABU
You could carry it on at home too- some you win, sopme you lose does them the world of good

claw3 · 19/01/2009 14:53

It might encourage children who do always want to be the winner, to learn that its not all about you, but about working together, cooperating, sharing etc.

Pingping · 19/01/2009 14:55

YABU I am afraid

I always remember having house points all through school.

My God daughters school take the best class on a school trip but thats a yearly thing.

It encourages good teamwork etc

bigTillyMint · 19/01/2009 14:57

It does seem quite young for them to get the concept of working as a team as children of that age aren't all even ready for cooperative play, never mind working towards a goal.

Maybe you could practise tidying up, etc together at home, emphasising how much quicker it is when you work together and help each other?

My DC are competitive - DD(9) is able to manage it well now, but DS(7) HATES to lose. It's a hard thing to learn how to be a good loser

naturalbornmum · 19/01/2009 14:58

They do this at DD's school too. Your Dc needs to fit in with school not the other way round.

stealthsquiggle · 19/01/2009 15:00

YABU - I too have an uber-competitive DS, and whatever reward system the school had (and they all have something) your DS would manage to make it a competition.

He has to learn to lose. It's not easy, but he will have to learn - and IMHO his reaction to/frustration with the school system is a symptom of the problem, not the cause.

chickenfortea · 19/01/2009 15:10

mmm our school has a house system but only for years 3 and above.
I personally think there is nothing wrong with a competitive child, I have two.
They just need help managing a desire to win. That will come in time.
Perhaps have a word with the teacher to see if they can help guide your ds

Original poster
Pitchounette · 19/01/2009 15:18

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 19/01/2009 15:23

I thought avoiding competition in schools (competitive sports, etc) was a thing of the past. But then I am of the view that life is competitive so I doubt that we would see eye to eye on such issues anyway .

I do think it is at least as important to be a good loser as to be a good winner, though - and constantly strive to drum that into DS.

cory · 19/01/2009 15:25

I always hated the absense competition, as it made my disabled dd such a liability to any group she was in, making sure they could never ever win. Just the way to promote inclusion- not.

PoloPlayingMummy · 19/01/2009 15:26

YABU - time to teach your DS to be a team player and a good loser. It's a vital skill that we all need after all. He can't 'win' all the time.

stealthsquiggle · 19/01/2009 15:28

Cory I agree the absence competition is a bit weird for that age group - most absence at that age is through illness, and peer pressure is hardly going to change it .

hullygully · 19/01/2009 15:31

Bad bad idea. Encourages resentment and hatred as they blame each other. Nothing more annoying than losing/doing badly etc when you've tried yourself and someone else hasn't (perception or reality). Better to have "personal bests" so compete against self.

Bramshott · 19/01/2009 15:38

I think there are 2 separate issues here - team points for good tidying etc could work well for some children and give positive messages about working together etc.

However, points for absences (or a stress on having as little absence as possible) is NOT helpful for this age group - if they are sick, they need to be off school - it is unlikely that they are playing truant and hanging round the shopping centre!

MillyR · 19/01/2009 15:45

YABU. Surely this is just the same concept as a sports team? You win or lose on the ability of the whole team, not just one player. Your son just has to learn to win or lose as part of a team.

My kids' school has houses from nursery class; my dd was really pleased when she joined nursery and was part of the same house as her older brother.

Katiestar · 19/01/2009 17:12

We have this across the whole school .The 'team scheme ' they call it.
i don't agree with the absence thing though.Are you 'naughty' if you are ill , or if your parents (not you) book a holiday in term time.

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