For getting annoyed at my mum on strangers behalf?

[jesusofutopia]

My mum is doing my nut in with her ebay fiasco.

She bought a magazine in November for £3.

The bloke sent it but sent a message saying he had not received payment. So my mums husband immediately said the bloke was a con artist and she must delete all emails and messages from him immediately

So the magazine arrived a week later.

In December the bloke sent a nicely worded email stating that he still hadn't received payment. My mum panicked that he was "trying to hack into their bank details" and deleted his message

January he sent ANOTHER email...I said to my mum DO NOT DELETE IT! SORT IT OUT! so she looked at her bank and it turns out the payment was sent but was for some reason refunded.

So she said "what do I do?" and I said "send it again" so she said "I will do, next time I put the PC on".

This was two weeks ago and she's still not done it.

AIBU for getting annoyed on this blokes behalf??

YANBU. Poor bloke. Lets hope he leaves crap feedback.

Thing is she wouldn't know if he did as she doesn't understand the feedback system.

All she keeps saying is "can he get me banned off ebay??"

what have ebay been saying about all this, surely he has reported her?

How funny, not you you of course, or the poor seller

What magazine was it?

Why dont you help your Mum out email the guy on her behalf and get the £3 off her

If her fear is getting banned from ebay, can you not use this to your advantage and sit down and explain to her how it works.

ie. tell her yes, unless she listens to you and explain that actually this seller is not in the wrong and she VERY much is.

Explain that it is good to be cautious, as there are con artists out there, but there usually good and clear indictaions of what dipicts a con artist and that actually SHE is the one displaying them.

All done as nicely as possible - but using her 'fear' to get her to sit up and pay attention.

Your mum is the con artist; she has received goods that she agreed to pay for and she had not paid for them. The seller will report her to ebay and they will take action against her.

What was it about his email that made your mum think he was trying to hack into her bank account??

God knows, she's just not up with technology at all and doesn't "get" how things work...computers, mobile phones, digital cameras, its all a huge faff with her.

She phoned me in a panic saying "ebay are warning me about him!!! they've sent me 3 alerts about him! how do I report him??"

The "alerts" were emails, one from him very nicely asking for payment and 2 from ebay going on about listing charges and various other crap

I have offered to do it for her but she makes excuses and I don't think she trusts me to do it either. She thinks I'm going to give him her bank details.

It was a daft dolls house magazine.

I don't know how old your Mum is, but I fear the older generation and Ebay don't mix very well. I think Pingping's idea is a good one - try to get hold of the seller's details and sort out the payment, explain that your Mum is not used to Ebay. That should limit the feedback damage. Maybe offer to shop for her in the future. I do this for my Mum and she just gives me the cash.

If you know the item, you can search it as completed listings, then you can contact the seller directly from your ebay account and just explain you mum is having a "senior" moment about the whole transaction and has got herself in a pickle. If you give all the details he will hopefully understand and not leave terrible feedback.

Offer to pay the £3 yourself via your own paypal account to setttle the debt, then tell your mum you've dealt with it and she owes you £3 and a promise not to shop on ebay again without your help.

Or set your Mum up on Paypal that way she won't have to give any details to the sellers and if there is any problems with payments Paypal will tell her what to do.

Can't she just send him a cheque or something?

Tell her to send the magazine back if she's so against paying the poor guy. Or get the money off her and pay him through paypal yourself.

Why on earth did the bloke send it if he hadn't got payment?

So she hasn't paid him then?

Does she understand that?

She sounds like my Mum she does my head in with stuff like this ,she thought Asda would ban her for cancelling an order [sigh].