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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not bother taking ds to preschool today?

17 replies

SammyK · 19/01/2009 08:32

He is healthy (although still asleep in bed!),

I just cant face it in this pouring down rain.

It would be a bike ride there for him with me pushing buggy whilst holding his bike and reassuring him about not falling, gates being ok open, cats and 'fally' paths (he is autistic and has lots of phobias,quirks and enxieties). He will cry and sob when I drop him off, and then just when I am dried off I will have to go back out this time wiith a double buggy and repeat the whole painful process.

OP posts:

littleducks · 19/01/2009 08:34

can you take the double buggy there? or is that to out of routine?

he doesnt have to go does he.....but will breaking his routine back fire later?

Deemented · 19/01/2009 08:34

Leave him sleep, just for today.

Original poster

SammyK · 19/01/2009 08:42

No he doesn't really understand days of the week, we say it is a play day or a nursery day, so I will just say it is a play day.

Doesn't have to go no. He is way too heavy for double I have a bad back and our current set up is bad enough on it. He cycles on a bike with stabiliasers (which he stills fll off of) as walking there takes ages, and too big for buggy. We do use a maclaren for him on a weekend tho.

He has just got up!
Will let him have a chill out day I think.

OP posts:

seeker · 19/01/2009 08:49

If he doesn't have to go and he cries and sobs when you drop him off, why take him at all?????

Original poster

SammyK · 19/01/2009 09:01

He stops crying when I go, he is like an emotional roller coaster seeker, and transition times particularly are hard for him (so from going from playground to carpet, PE in hall to nursery, from one activity to another etc). He calms down and then the next thing comes along and turns the world on its head for him.

The preschool are great, it is in the state primary he will be going to , there are 8 kids in his class (which will increase gradually), he sees a speech and language therapist there once a week, is very slowly bonding with his teacher and a couple of the kids, and because it is at the school he will be going to, I don't want him to think school is optional. If he does have the odd morning off I don't tell him it's a school day

OP posts:

seeker · 19/01/2009 09:10

I'm sorry, sammy, I've reread my post and I realize that it sounded critical and I really didn't mean to. I'm am just sad sometimes when people persevere with playschool or nursery because they feel they HAVE to. I'm on a one woman mission to tell people that ti's not compulsory! Obviously this doesn't apply to you - sorry again

LadyLiffey · 19/01/2009 09:13

Duvet day.

I completely understand. My son was thought to b mildly on the ASD at one point, not sure now, and hates getting wet. Hates it. Expects me to have a change of clothes en route to wherever we go! That is, dry clothes, he wouldn't wear anything 'new'. My son is in speech therapy too! It takes him the first 3/4s of the session to look at the therapist and agree to take off his coat!

ONE duvet day in the lashing rain won't do any of you any harm, and I may well take one myself this week. It's January.

LadyMuck · 19/01/2009 09:14

I heard on the radio that today is the "optimum" day for taking a sickie; weather, post Christmas slump, failed New Year resolution etc. So that is what I am doing (though admittedly from my voluntary job), and I feel a lot better for it already! Duvet day all round I would say.

beforesunrise · 19/01/2009 09:14

YANBU, he has a lifetime of "having" to go to school and work, let him rest and play at home. and you get the rest too.

Lulumama · 19/01/2009 09:14

I did not take DD on friday as I had hurt my back, was recovering from a sinus infection and there was no -one else to take her,a freidn took DS to school and I stayed at home, warm and cosy with DD, and we had a lovely day

ssd · 19/01/2009 09:15

saMMY, don't go, stay in and have a play together

MrsMattie · 19/01/2009 09:15

Oh God, I have kept DS off pre-school because I couldn't be arsed to go out in a howling gale several times before. Dont feel bad about it. Cosy up and have a quiet day indoors instead.

LadyLiffey · 19/01/2009 09:16

Seeker, my son is attending a 'multi-disciplinary' centre where he sees a Salt and an ot, they recommended that he go to playschool because 'play role models' would be very good for him. He does seem a little less babyish.

It has been good for him too I think. I don't know about Sammy's son of course.

lingle · 19/01/2009 09:43

My son has receptive language delay and there is some suspicion of ASD. He's 3.4.

He is happy at nursery. But as he is immature, I do sometimes wonder whether he'd be better off at home. For instance, at nursery he doesn't play with the other children. But once I pick him up, he starts playing (parallel) with the others within about 1 metre of the door! He joins in with activities he can fully participate in and learns from them with regard to things like painting water.

It's all very odd. Sometimes I think we have to remember that not everything suits every child and you don't need a special label for that.

lingle · 19/01/2009 09:47

meant to add that I would be interested in your thoughts on this issue Seeker.

My neighbour is a consultant paediatrician and she calmly informed me that her 3 year old son "could be at the pre-school already but he isn't ready". And he wasn't. But I hadn't realised it was ok to say that until I heard her say it IYKWIM!!

Original poster

SammyK · 19/01/2009 09:49

It's okay seeker, you are not the first person to ask, going to preschool is part of a very long term plan of settling into the school environment, and as LL says, he gets to see his peers playing imaginatively and in teams, games etc.

Yes he hates the rain too, says it hurts him.

I feel like I am living on a knife edge all the time waiting for the next hurdle/emotional outburst of tears, it's so draining and upsetting for both of us.

We are staying in, he's still in his WallE PJs playing with WallE, reciting the WallE film script, sinign the WallE song, and making Walle sounds.

OP posts:

LucyEllensmummy · 19/01/2009 10:20

Hurrah for WallE Enjoy your duvet day - i don't think it would have taken much for me to have one today either but DD was bright as a button this morning and wanting to do, plus we have a "play date" (which i really would like a duvet day from, i have the paracetemol on standby!).

Pre-school is definately optional in my books, although i do tend to send DD every day and touch wood we haven't really had any paddies (yet) about not wanting to go. I understand where you are coming from regarding the routine thing, you don't want him to learn that it is OK to take time out from school if he is going to be going to school there. But saying that, thats next year and he will be a year older and more able to cope. I admire you greatly - i am struggling with my DDs behaviour just now - im finding her so demanding and she doesn't have the extra problems your son has to deal with. Yes, it must be very difficult.

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