feel like we are being used

[Niftyblue]

Afer 20 years of marriage SIL husband walked out for another woman back in March

In the summer she met someone else and seemed to be taking it slow THEN wham bam she is totallly besotted by him quotes him all the time and has no time for anything else.When I met him back in the summer they were all other each other like a rash infront of everyone.It was really uncomfatable
MY other sil spoke to her about it that she was loosing "nights out" with friends when she came up to visit SIL she would be talking to her and she would get a text from him and she would disappear in the other room for an hour .She did this to me I sat on my own for 40mins before going in and saying I was leaving .He had texted a picture of himself sat next to 2 woman laughing to her WHY???
He is playing on her insecurties

NOW I know this is her fault but he seems to do it when he knows she has family/friends round and she is acting like 18 year old
When my other SIL spoke to her about it she would`nt have it

Anyway we live abroad and SIl wanted to come over with her DD which is great
BUT then asked if she could bring her boyfriend
DH said yes even though he had never him.30mins later she phoned back he is bring his son as well was that o.k (turns out they had already booked it)
Met him again at xmas he is so arrognant(sp)he really thinks he is doing her a favour.
I can`t stand him he has made sly comments to me
HE is tit

Anyway she phoned tonight to say what they had planned for the 4 days they are here WTF
and would that be o.k
DH said fine
DH says just bite your tongue hes just pleased she is coming over

I am so annoyed I can`t stand the bloke

As far as I am concerned SIL can be a numbskull and be used
BUT why should we he is just looking for free accomdation/food and skiing

Her boyfriend is dictating this and there is nothing I can do
DH won`t say anything

AIBU????
Should I just bite my tongue?

Uuurgh this is horrible. I would however bite your tongue welcome him wth open arms, take his sly comments on the chin, be the perfect hostess, it will only be a matter of time before sil becomes embarrassed of him and gets rid. Its all about the way you play the game

Can understand you being p*ssed off. But I agree that you have to just suck it up for your dh's sake.

If you get all hard done by and ranty then it will forever affect your relationship with your sil whether she stays with him or not, and this will make things difficult for your dh.

If you really will struggle to bite your tongue then maybe try and keep out of their way a bit which should be easy if they have already planned how to spend their time

Bite your tongue. This is your husbands sister, and he wants to see her. What would you say anyway? Your SIL is an adult and can make her own choices, good or bad. It is not good that she is being so obsessive, but that is often how it is when a relationship gets very intense, and you don't have to be a teenager to feel that way. My brother has a girlfriend and daughter. If I invite him to visit, I expect her to come too. However I have to say I really like her, and want this relationship to work, so it's not a difficult choice, but if I didn't like her, and I wanted him to visit I would still have to invite her too. How close are you anyway? I don't know my dh's sisters well enough to comment on what they did with their private lives.

They plan to go skiing involving us everyday
When SIL booked she said they wanted to go skiing with us for 2 days then the rest of the time just chill
She has been having ski lessons in the U:K

Then tonight its 4 days and how about differnt resorts as the one we go to is more for learning.which is fine for 2 days for her and DN
But boyfriend would be bored with that as he can already ski so go to another for the other 2 days

DH said yeah he just wants to see her which I can understand
But this is our kids school holiday as well

They both sound tits to me
make sure your DH will be off as well

You could tell your husband that you will bite your tongue BUT if this man over steps the mark with comments he has to deal with him.tell them this is your home not a free for all hotel

You could put itching powder in their bedsheets so they won`t want to come back

Can you arrange to be doing something else one of the days they're skiing? It might give you a bit of breathing space.

If the boyfriend makes any comments, don't be afraid to deal with them openly. Involve your DH if necessary.