to say to my kid" if you can't do your homework then take it back in UNDONE"

[AugustusGloop]

rather than me trying to explain it?
Because that is what I ( very rarely) do.

Primary.

I am now finding this hysterically funny as my dd (3) has just started pre-school and is coming home with reading books LOL The trouble is they want to change it weekly but unfortunately she wants to change it every 3-4 days (as do I!) because we have read it to death!!!! Her choice btw not mine!

Bringing home books from preschool how ridiculous. FFS

It's not ridiculous at all, na.

Exposure to books is important for a pre-schooler, and sadly, some households don't have any books so it is important for children to be exposed at school and to bring them home.

They are not necessarily learning how to read, but will no doubt be learning the story through the pictures, empathising with the characters, and doing what-ifs.

what's wrong with bringing books home? It's like a mini library and young children enjoy it.

I thought they were bringing them home as "homework"

No I am taking the piss out the outrage at children having home work, it is expected that we will read to dd1. We do that every night anyway and woe betide us if we say she can't have one- thats her punishment- no story, because she loves it I am laughing because she is 3yo and LOVES her HOMEWORK!!! She wants more books!!

Pointy thats my point!!!

Bring back prep!

[old fart emoticon]

I think that is fine if you have a child that enjoys reading. If you have one that hates it life becomes a little more complicated. We had one of each, and pushing ds to read when he found it all very complicated and hard work and difficult was very very counterproductive, so we didn't attempt to battle through the utterly tedious school books until he had caught up on the technical reading skills, which we did through outside tutoring. So during that time we read him books he was interested in, and got him lots and lots of audio books. dd on the other hand loved to read the school books, so that was no problem at all. Now they both can read pretty much whatever they like, so long as they do a minimum of half an hour.

'I disagree with following regulations and rules. Conforming for the sake of conforming is a very bad idea. And it is not a lesson I want my children to learn"

Say more, purepurple?

seeker, that's just me. I'm not planning on trying to convert anyone. I am not a sheep.

I know. I'm just interested. So you tell your children they don't need to follow rules? What about things like school uniform?

I'm not a sheep either!

Haven't read the whole thread, but just snippets.
My thoughts are that primary homework is actually very important. Lots of kids can disguise learning problems in a class setting which an obserbant parent may pick up in a one-on-one homework setting. It also gives the parent an important insight into thier child's progress or lack of.
I agree that rules should be questioned if there is something wrong with them, but not just for the sake of non-conformity. A school insisting on all children wearing the same coloured socks is protecting them from the pressures of fashion and conforming to the whims of thier peer group. Not all rules are as arbitrary as they initially appear.

So to answer the OP, I think I would try to help in as much as I would try to clarify the situation - get DS to talk it through to see if the problem was a simple misunderstanding of a certain point which could be easily explained allowing him to move on. If, however, there was a total lack of understanding, I think the teacher should be made aware and i would send in the work undone with a note.
Would make sure DS knew this was not a punishment though (unless he was being lazy and it was a punishment!)

In answer to the OP - my DD1 often declares she doesn?t understand any of her homework and can?t even write the title! If I sit down with her and spend five minutes talking through the task, she usually finds she can do at least half of it unaided, just with me reading it out slowly and explaining any tricky words. Any remaining work that needs help or further explanation from me we work through together and write in the margin "Q.1, 4, 5 needed help from mum with x,y,z" type stuff. That way she feels good knowing she has done it all, learnt a little, consolidated skills, the teacher is made aware of what she found difficult - success all round.

Cannot think of a situation yet where the work has been so inappropriate that I cannot talk her through it. Maybe that will change one day, but for now I find a little parental support and help is the best method for us. Would never send her back without at least having a go.

(Also, like others, I am surprised at how many are anti homework. I think it is a great way to develop the school-home link and give parents the opportunity to be informed and involved in their children?s learning, also gives the teacher a chance to see what the child can do away from the classroom. Obviously it needs to be set properly with the right length of time and level of difficulty. Amazed something as simple as homework is so contraversial. Perhaps those people do not view reading as homework? Surely people do not object to children having a reading book every day?)

Lemontart has hit the nail on the head, I think - my own objections are certainly to formal, "production" based homework at that age. When I say that I never had homework, I'm not counting reading, spellings and times tables (though I actually don't remember doing those at home, but probably did) because they are things you do (or don't do) in your own way and only the OUTCOME is tested, ie do you know it or not. There's no writing, no "sit down and take time out and do this now" - in other words, no replication of the schooolroom in the house.

Most of my "extra-mural" work at the time was actually reading library books and helping my grandparents to reckon up their winnings on forecasts and doubles!

nooka as the mother of a child who didn't enjoy reading do you think they should be set reading to do at home or do you think it should be optional?

I agree with posters who said homework is a waste of time in primary and cause family tension. DS1 has a teacher this year who gives brilliant fun and educational homework. Makes such a difference to his motivation to do homework and for the first time ever I have not resented having to spend precious family time doing homework. I think kids do enough maths in school, when at home we can do other things, doesn't mean they are not learning stuff at home too.

Surely if a child doesn't enjoy reading because they are less able they need more practice i.e. homework than those who can read easily. By not doing it you are reinforcing it being hard and unlearnable. If a child finds reading difficult then the majority of school work will be a struggle with the exception of maths, so persevering at a young age pays off for later IMO

It depends on the age IMO. I wouldn't even worry about a child struggling in infants school. In many countries children wouldn't begin school or learn to read until 6 or 7 years of age. Because most children would definitely be ready at this point it means they can learn it in a very relaxed way and can pick it up easily giving them a lot of confidence.

It is well known that children learn faster during toddlerhood than school age and are tantermount to a sponge that absorbs everything around them. With that in mind it makes perfect sense to start the foundations early.

Also predominantly it is about which side of their brain is better developed, more usual for boys to be better at mathematical/spacial awareness and girls language and literacy, but not always. Psychologists have studied these areas and found that these early developments of being better with one half of the brain than the other can last through to adulthood.
As a child I wasn't as good at maths and as an adult I am still better at languages than science, even though I enjoy science more iyswim. Perhaps its more of a challenge iyswim.

Dillydaydreamer My concern are that you bore your child to death with formal learning and switch them off. I do alot of informal learning with my son, a little Spanish, weights and measures in cooking. talking about food and reading a story every night. We help as much as we can.
Question to all? My Ds is 4 &4 months he has a habit of not trying e.g swinging on a rope, not using a felt-tip to draw lines, not colouring just in case he goes over the lines. He hates not being able to do to perfectly. I hear 'Mummy but I can't do it' and then he gives up. How do you teach them to just have a go?

ds is dyslexic (runs very strongly in my family). The school at that point was trying to teach reading using mixed methods. ds was very confused and convinced he couldn't do it. Trying to do reading at home often resulted in him getting very very upset. More homework of the sort he was getting at that time would have been totally counterproductive, I wouldn't have done it, and would have fought with the school if they had tried to enforce it. What he needed was a different approach. Once I had him diagnosed (outside of school) and got some brilliant advice (from maverick on Mumsnet) I got him a specialist tutor in phonics. He had six or seven sessions during one summer holiday and it just made a huge difference. I learned how to read with him, and he learned that reading had rules he could understand. So I was quite grateful that school didn't appear to care that we never read the books he brought home.

However once he got over that hurdle, the much stricter reading requirement at the American school (but with free choice of skill appropriate books, including graphic novels) really supported him to get much more confident and start reading for pleasure.

Dillydreamer, practice only makes perfect if you have an understanding of what you are practicing. If it's all double dutch to you then no matter how much you do of it, it doesn't make any more sense. Children who are struggling often need a different approach to those that sail through. Oh, and ds had no problem at all with anything at school that didn't involve reading or writing, which when little means a fair amount.

I don't know that you are right about starting everything early being for the best. There are plenty of countries that start formal education a great deal later than we do, and get better results a few years down the line. For example Canadian formal school starts at six, and I think this is true of much of Scandinavia too.

starbear my daughter is like this. She's actually quite capable, but she doesn't like getting things wrong (especially things like spelling). We just persuade and support her to give it a go, and often she surprises herself. Perhaps it helps to see other people (ie maybe you or your dh?) not doing things very well and not getting upset/bothered by that? Some children do take life very seriously though.

seeker, I think rules should be questioned and not followed blindly, DD has all the school uniform and has had her uniform card signed by teachers for not wearing it properly, it's not a big deal.As for wearing a particular colour of socks, it makes no difference to what you learn. I did go to a very strict private grammar school where the emphasis was on conforming to rules rather than on inspiring and stretching children and preparing them for the world. I consider myself quite a moral and ethical person so I don't go round breaking rules just for the hell of it. But I don't agree with religion, because that is all about being told what to do. And I am not very good at being told what to do I also have a very big interest in alternative music, like punk and goth, which has influenced me a lot. I think I am just abit unorthodox.